The evidence

On top of it being the end of a new year, the end of the transfer is nigh! Calls will be in by next week. I am always curious as to what will happen considering every few months just about everything in my life changes, but I've seen so many times that what needs to happen happens, so I don't worry as much as I used to. Things work out.

 

The biggest news I have for this week is SNOW! Collectively we've received about 2 feet of snow here. It's insane! People here practically haven't noticed but I can't get over it! I've actually really enjoyed it so far to be honest. We've been shoveling a lot of driveways, and we took a break to make the most awesome igloo you've ever seen! Aptly named Fort Kie. Pictures....will come in the future :) Two 11 year-old girls from across the street pulled out their snow gear and decided to help us. I have found myself two more little sisters! They are great, and we will be going back this week to see them and their families. I've really enjoyed watching fleet of snow Wall-e's dispatch, especially when the downfall is consistant. I love how societies and individuals adapt to circumstances. We always say to ourselves- what would happen if...? But truly when we find ourselves in feared situations, we just keep on going somehow. I've decided that I would really like to live in a place that got snow as long as I had good snow gear to play in. And a good soup cookbook!

 

Both Sister Hausauer and I gave talks at church yesterday- mine was on Henry B. Eyring's talk from this past General Conference called "Where is the Pavilion?" Here is the link:
http://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/10/where-is-the-pavilion?lang=eng

I focused my talk on being able to remove the barrier when we feel distant from God through becoming childlike and in serving others.
"For the natural man is an enemy to God, and has been from the fall of Adam, and will be, forever and ever, unless he yields to the enticings of the Holy Spirit, and putteth off the natural man and becometh a saint through the atonement of Christ the Lord, and becometh as a child, submissive, meek, humble, patient, full of love, willing to submit to all things which the Lord seeth fit to inflict upon him, even as a child doth submit to his father." Mosiah 3:19
I have found on my mission that I have only been able to gain even the smallest vision or insight into the work when I get over myself and realize that I am insufficient on my own! I'm grateful that I've been able to become more acquainted with the slightest pricks of pride- I know what it feels like when I'm holding onto something and think I know best. I'm grateful to have been broken down in that way.

 

We also taught Relief Society haha it was busy day. We were asked to teach about how to prepare children and youth for missions. We decided to teach the Restoration, since the best way to strengthen anything spiritual and prepare for the future is to gain your own testimony that the Church of Jesus Christ was restored through Joseph Smith and that living prophets continue to guide the church. It's a big question, and the only way to know is by searching on your own. It was fun to teach that and I think it went well! I am serving in a really great ward.

Well that's pretty much it for this week! I'll email you all next year :) I hope everyone is well. Happy New Year!
Sister Raines

Brave

How was everyone's Christmas?! The libraries were closed the last two days so we are able to email today!

It's been pretty busy around here for the season as I'm sure everyone can say. We've been doing a lot of service at a homeless shelter in Irondequoit- organizing and distributing donated Christmas presents to the homeless and needy. The House of Mercy has been a really interesting experience in general. We've been helping with them for weeks now. Before Christmas we helped organize storage units, clean, etc. It's been really wonderful to see because although the house itself is located on one of the more rough streets in town, there is a sense of respect. In fact, at the close of one of the days of gift distributing, we were surprised to find out that the man guarding the door only letting so many people in the gift room at a time was T-bone- one of the biggest drug lords in the city of Rochester. Ha! We think so often in terms of black and white: If you do this, you are this. If you do that, you are that. I've learned so much about loving people separate of their choices. It doesn't make all choices right, and it certainly doesn't mean all choices lead to happiness, but we're all playing a different game. In the end, I think people really pull through.

This year I have been extremely moved by Christmas music! The Rochester and Buffalo zones got together for part of Tuesday and there were some musical numbers performed there, as well as the Christmas program on Sunday. My two favorite Christmas songs are O Come Emmanuel and O Holy Night I think. They are just so good. I'm grateful for the power that music has to hit something home that just speaking can't do.
So I might as well send the lyrics to the Christmas song I wrote! One of the elders learned a harmony part, and Sister Brown learned the piano and then amplified it so it actually came out sounding pretty good!

In a stable long ago
From the Heavens came a King
Sent to bring us safely home
Let all Earth and nature sing
Hallelujah! Glory, laud, and honor be His sacred name
Hallelujah is the message! Let the whole wide world proclaim

Be with them that seek Him
Never let the candle dim
I wish the whole world knew
Let Him be the reason
For this Christmas season
Let there be peace in you

Let your hearts be filled with light
When tribulation sounds the drum
Be not fearful of the future
Christ the King has overcome
Hallelujah! Glory, laud, and honor be His sacred name
Hallelujah is the message! Let the whole wide world proclaim

Be with them that seek Him
Never let the candle dim
I wish the whole world knew
Let Him be the reason
For this Christmas season
Let there be peace in you. 

A group of missionaries went caroling this week to different people in the area! We did not sing the song I wrote haha :) I haven't been caroling for as long as I can remember. Normally I'm actually pretty opposed to it because it's fairly awkward to make people stand in the cold as they listen to mediocre melodies from half strangers, but because this time we were able to pick people who we knew would appreciate it, it was good! 

It was so good to talk to everyone yesterday! My heart is full. I'm so grateful for all the support I've received so far on my mission. The last few months will be the best I am sure of it.

Till next week!
Sister Raines

Filters and feeble minds

This week I learned a lot about how important it is to see things as they really are.

"Behold, my brethren, he that prophesieth, let him prophesy to the understanding of men; for the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls." (Jacob 4:13)

 

The Spirit testifies of truth- things as they REALLY ARE and really will be. That is so important! Off and on I've had a theme of mental instibility and the idea of a sound mind. I had a chance to talk with President Christianson this week about some of the struggles that have presented themselves over the last 2 months. As I talked with him, I realized how altered my perception of reality had become. In Buffalo I learned to be confident in myself and my ability to perform the tasks I was asked to do with God's help. I felt valued, needed, and healthy. I grew even more in Brockport, and although I was aware of weaknesses, my understanding and gratitude for Christ's sacrifice and power was growing as well. I knew I was far from perfect, but I knew I had infinite worth in the eyes of God.There is some serious power in that understanding- knowledge of who we are to God moves us to want to be better and gives us the sense of stability and value which we so desperately need. It comes as no surprise then that those without this understanding search frantically for anything else that might give them a sense of place. It might take the form of merit in academics, career, financial assets, trite compliments, or even self medication to dull the pain of the void.
These past few months I realized how easy it is to get off base. Embarrassing as it is, I lost sight of who I am for a little while. I was hurt, and I retreated from what I knew. I turned away from those around me. How quickly ideas grow! I imagined myself to be of little worth, and stopped trusting and confiding in so many, beginning with my companion and mission president. I've struggled to keep in contact with just about anyone from home- even my letters to Austin have struggled. Even more devastating though, my prayers have struggled. How often do we find solace in the company of strangers when we question our self worth? How often do we think we'll be happier with people who don't know how small we really are instead of trusting those who can hurt us? God included?
I am working on making a better effort to come to people instead of run, starting with my Father in Heaven. For today, I am trusting that I matter to Him.

"Yea, verily I say unto you, if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me." (3 Nephi 9:14)

Today there is a huge Christmas activity at the Visitors Center, so all the Sisters are in Palmyra for the day. Should be fun :) The two that are in Brockport are staying at our apartment for a few days and it's been really great so far! I'm am blessed to know such great people. I wrote a Christmas song over the last couple weeks, too, and I'll be performing that so I hope it goes well!

Till next week! Love,
Sister Raines

Never take wooden nickels

Hi!

So....this week was very up and down! In the end though, a lot has been ironed out and I'm a better person than I was a week ago. That's what I asked for by coming out here, wasn't it?

A huge highlight about the week was I got to go on an exchange with Sister Madsen! We came out to New York together and we get along great. It was one of the best days of the last few months!

With Christmas coming close, we are spending a lot of time trying to share Christmas messages with people. I've been writing a Christmas song...I can't remember if I've mentioned that before. It's coming along pretty well! I've got a few other missionaries working on it with me. I will let you know how it goes. I apologize in advance because I really am left without money or time to go Christmas shopping this year. I've been working on some killer cards, but it appears that it might be all I've got to give this year. I hope no one is hurt, I'm just slightly limited currently. I hope everyone's Christmas is good anyways! Haha :)

Things in Brighton with Sister Hausauer are good. I'm am getting better acclimated to the Visitors' center. Nothing truly interesting to tell in a story, but I am doing well.
I hope everyone is good!
With love,
Sister Raines

My exchange with Sister Madsen! Sure do love her.

And in the end, we begin again.

First item of business:

We have a Christmas tree.

No, like you don't understand. It's as legit as you can get as a missionary. Two of the elders dropped it off (it looks kind of like the tree from Charlie Brown?) in front of our apartment as a joke....but we definitely made the best of it. Fixed it up, filled it with makeshift ornaments, and placed my fuzzy pink birthday tiara at the top as a celebratory "Happy Birthday, Jesus" star. I am so proud. I'll take some pictures before Christmas. Just thought you all should know I will be spending this Christmas in style.
Recently, I am learning more and more about the balance between two principles demonstrated in the following verses. They're short, don't worry.
1. And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. (Matt. 21:22)
2. Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. (Phil. 4:11)
Are you getting my dilemma? Understand that these concepts are only contradictory in extreme terms. Essentially, ask for what you need, but be content with what you've got. It's an eternal cycle of humility- always learning more how to rely on God for everything and go to Him for help. Always seeking progress and betterment, and finding joy and peace in the blessings you already have. I may never master the balance between these two concepts, but I am trying to get better at them. It seems so often I lean too much on one side or the other.


The beginning of this transfer has been pretty good. I like what Austin talked about today concerning opposition- it really is true. Opposition is necessary for growth, and it's abundant when we are moving in the right direction. Bad things happening when you're moving in the wrong direction are really more consequences than opposition. Similar looking, but very different in nature. Anyways we've been able to spend our time more effectively this week, but with it and the true commencement of winter (first snow, yadda yadda) I have felt myself kind of draining away ha. It is a strange phenomenon. I am happy when we are helping people. The first moments waking up and the slower moments in between (travel time, slow visitor center shifts, etc) it becomes increasingly harder to function. No worries- I will pull through just fine. Ultimately the greater the challenge the greater the glory, right? Completing my mission in just over 5 months will be a great accomplishment because I will have given everything I knew how. If I didn't know 100% that the things we are teaching are true I would have come home by now. Not just that I know it a little bit, or that I ignore the parts that I'm not sure about, but the whole message. Those young guys in ties and actually know what they are talking about! And that makes it worth everything. I would do all of this over again.


I hope everyone is happy and healthy at home. Don't let this Christmas pass by! No sense the "grin and bear it"attitude when there is so much to be thankful for.

Love,
Sister Raines

PS I don't mean to preach :) it's just what's been on my mind this week. Just so you all know!

Queen Lluvia

Ha...ok don't hate me but this computer won't let me add pictures. So....you may never know what my hair looks like :) muahaha.

But I have some awesome news! This morning we spent some time doing family history...AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM ROYALTY! That's right! What up!


I was able to find as far back as 217 A.D., who was Gewar, King of Norway. The Raines line is intensely English, but since royalty marries people from other nations to keep the power, we have some Scandinavian, Irish, teeny bit of Northern German and Prussian. Whaaaat??? Among the notable names we have Louis Metz IV (King of France). Most of the names I found were from the Wessex area. So Austin! Go find some of my cousins out there! Incredible. I wasn't able to look into my mom's side much yet, but preeeetty pleased with the short time I got to see of the Raines today. Moral of the story: everyone should go do their family history!


Also news for this week. We had a strange dilemma because our car needed to be fixed on Wednesday, but we had visitors' center shifts Tuesday through Thursday, two in Waterloo which is two hours from our place in Irondequoit. So! This was what I worked out for rides:
Tuesday:
Drop off car at mission office
Webster sisters drive us to our shift at the Smith Family Farm on their way to the Book of Mormon publication site
Smaellie's take us from the farm after our shift to the Marion sister's house to sleep for then night
Wednesday:
Howell's pick us up at 8 from the sister's house and drive us on the way to our shift in Waterloo since they work that shift with us and live in Palmyra
Fuller's work the afternoon shift in Waterloo, but we work all day, so the Fuller's take us to site meeting by 7
Yearsleys (live in Waterloo) take us from site meeting back down to Waterloo
Thursday:
Specialized training in Waterloo
Irondequoit sisters drive us to our shift in the afternoon at the Book of Mormon publication site on their way back to Irondequoit from training
Henrietta sisters drive us to get our car from the mission office after their shift at the Hill Cumorah on their way back towards Rochester


Best part? IT TOTALLY WORKED. We got everywhere we needed to without anyone going out of their way. It took a lot of phone calls and a lot of brain power. Badabing! I just wanted to brag just for a second. It really felt like sophisticated hitchhiking.


Ok time for something I've been reading which really struck me this morning. It's been a pretty heavy transfer because I've been so slow at adjusting to change I think. So this morning I was reading in Ether (in the Book of Mormon) and specifically chapter 6 got me. This group of people called the Jaredites were being led to the promised land (all of scripture seems to be a tale of exodus) and after building barges, it says "the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind." The chapter goes on to talk about how the trip was rough, but that as they trusted in God they always came out on top. So often we feel like we're getting jerked around, but it seems to me that God is the one actually trying to get us to our destination. Think about it- we are here to become something, not just coast through life and think a few things. We are put in situations so that we can react and build faith. As the winds blew them towards the promised land, the waves got bigger. But that wind was the only way they were going to go anywhere. So often I find myself wishing for an easy life, but where would I really end up? I'm grateful for the circumstances in my life that get me where God wants me to be. Now all I need to do is to make sure I don't drown :)


So this week is Thanksgiving! This great family is having us over and I am really excited. I hope everyone has a really great Thanksgiving! I know sometimes holidays are really bittersweet. Just focus on the positive, if you can. And if you struggle to find positive, I suggest finding someone who doesn't get to have Thanksgiving this year and helping them!


I can think of nothing else for now. So...bye!
Love,
Sister Raines

P.S. We spent more time downtown this week and I guess Sister Hausauer got kind of nervous....I opened her bag to get something and found a meat tenderizer! Haha! Sorry I just had to tell you. Don't worry everyone- my companion will take good care of anyone will ill intentions.

Fuera de controllar

I'm alive!


Although I know that NYC got hit way hard by Sandy, the Rochester area was relatively unharmed. I saw a tree that fell.....but.....it was more likely because of anxiety than any kind of high winds. So no worries, ya'll. Alls well up here. Most people are a little upset about it though because it was so anticlimactic. I told everyone it was just a little rain. Don't believe the southerner. Yeesh.


This week seemed super long. We were at the sites a lot again, but because of the weather no one really came in at all. It's taken a quick turn towards winter this week, and I feel pretty good about it! Bob Parrott, who takes care of the Sacred Grove, comes in and talks to us during shifts sometimes at the Smith family farm and he mentioned how every winter "puny missionaries" whine all the time huddled next to a little space heater they keep in the office. I promised him I wouldn't complain at all this Winter (mostly because he didn't think I could do it, secondly because complaining doesn't get anyone anywhere) and I'm determined to do it. Everyone already knows it's cold. No point in declaring it like a baby. Heeerreeee we go. So far it's actually been really nice to be honest. It's been really wet and in the high 30's, but something that Bob said has really stuck with me- "Embrace it." Not just suffer through it, but soak it in. Appreciate it. As soon as he said it once as we were walking around I felt my shoulders relax and I started to see what he meant. This winter is going to be okay for me. Maybe I'll even come back like a toddler instead of a being a baby all the time!


I've done a LOT of thinking this week. It's been good. New surroundings always give so much to think about- somehow it always surprises me. Sister Hausauer and I talked a lot about differences in how people keep house and order and all that jazz. I've realized that I really aprpeciate organized chaos. My favorite is to see a house, a desk, a journal...anything....covered in memories. Those memories could be messy notes in various colors and handwritings, pictures, books, paintings, artifacts or who knows what else. I just like things to be lived in. Sister Hausauer is very clean which is nice. I've been blessed that all of my companions are clean people. She likes every color scheme to match, and everything that's out of order needs to be hidden from view. Luckily that just goes for her side of the room because my things are all super eclectic :) But it's interesting! I love learning more about how there really isn't just one way to do things. It seems we're always trying to make life make sense in our own way- we try to create our own paradise. Families have unique opportunities to either create a new, full atmostphere that welcomes all or to create discord when we see things as "our way" verses "their way." Space and the organization of space is fascinating.


So last week I think I mentioned how small I've felt- not just on my mission but really in life. I've been filled with gratitude that although I am insignificant and far from perfect that I am allowed to take part in so great a work. Although I always seem to be wrecking things and causing damage, I am entrusted with boundless blessings- family, friends and missionary work being at the top of the list. Have any of you actually tried to sit down recently and make a list of your blessings? It gets pretty ridiculous. If you haven't done it in a while I invite you to go and do it. It even takes precendence over finishing reading this weekly update. I'll be here when you get back. Don't forget things like fingernails, sight, hearing, brownies, internet, the smell of new books and washing machines. You're going to need lunch and nap breaks. This will take you awhile. Anyways I knew there were scriptures about that feeling but I hadn't found the right ones yet, but this week it dropped into my lap. Like...literally. Sister Hausauer had written it on a sticky note to give to one of the young women in the ward. It's 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.


9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.


I have really felt the impact of those two verses. I am happy for opportunities to understand more and to be humbled the right way. So easily we think that hating ourselves makes us humble. Not so. There's a delicate balance of loving ourselves because of who we are. The trick is though, we have to really understand who it is that we are.


Welp we've gotta get going sorry that's all I've got for the week. Missionary work is kind of hard to put into words. Maybe I'll be better at it in a few months.
Bye now!
Sister Raines

Sandy

Ha! I hope you've all been keeping up with the weather! There's a storm a'comin! In fact, after we email we're heading to another Sisters' apartment and Sister Hausauer and I will be there until Tuesday night. No leaving! Hurricane Sandy must have figured out that I wasn't in North Carolina so she took a trip through NYC and will probably be to Rochester in like...an hour and a half. If I get swept away, I want you all to know the following:
-The church is true
-Elder Bagley owes me 10 bucks
-I never did learn to like onions


The thought occurred to me that this is probably what North Carolinians look like before it snows. I wish you could see all the people freaking out up here. It's pretty perfect.


Moving on! This week...was...really long and really insane all at the same time. We had a day of training and visitors center shifts every day. When we work at the VC its really all we do for the day because we have to get in studies as well as drive time. I'm still not sure what I think about all of this. It's at least been nice to see that the other two sisters coming back from full proselyting have been struggling with the adjustment, too. It's not that I want them to struggle...but I am glad that I'm not losing my mind! I'll get used to this. It's just different. I'm grateful that I had the chance to be in Buffalo and Brockport.

With that said, you probably expected that with the changing tides I had a lot on my mind and a lot of time to process, which recently has tended to result in a song. Well it did this time ha. Lyrics:


When you were young did you hear your teacher say
"Pay attention, mind your manners, do you work" every day?
Did you listen to her then? Would you listen to her now?
Pay attention, mind your manners, and you'll make it through somehow


Left to stand on your own
Right at the end
Left to stand up straight
Have courage, my friend
Let's never meet here again


Then as you grew, you felt that you knew best
Every day you itched to put their wisdom to the test
You are learning, ever learning, that the things they said were true
That the things they always taught you were the things that you should do


Left to stand on your own
Right at the end
Left to stand up straight
Have courage, my friend
Let's never meet here again


You'll find answers in the basics-
Things you learned in Sunday school
How much struggle we'd avoid
If we all lived the golden rule


Left to stand on your own
Right at the end
Left to stand up straight
Have courage, my friend
Let's never meet here again


With all of that said, there's really not much that I can explain about what this week was like for me. It seems that all of life's greatest challenges and battles are internal- how can those accurately be described? Let me just say that God answers prayers. I'm not always willing to listen or to believe those answers, but I've had a few instances this week where it couldn't have been more clear that I was receiving an answer if it came in a phone call from God himself. But why is it still so hard for me to internalize sometimes? This is all very vague haha but it's all I've got. Life's a struggle. It's a pretty good one, though. I'll explain when you're older :)


Welp I need to go take cover. Bye!
Peace and blessings,
Sister Raines

Willie Jean

First week in the new area! Woo! It's been crazy.


First of all, I have been STUNNED at how much time we spend giving tours at the visitors' centers. It is such a stark difference from being full proselyting. It's fun in a lot of ways because so many fun people come in wanting to learn or wanting to finally see the places they've grown to love for so long. It's fun to be around the other missionaries and the Senior couples so much- a bunch of new people have come in since I was shipped out and they are AMAZING. Sister Hausauer and I have been having a blast already, too. I'm starting to wonder if you're allowed to get along with someone so well right off the bat? I'll take it though!


With all of that said, I still really miss Brockport. I think that's allowed ha. That area just has a special place in my heart and it probably always will. Just like Buffalo. I'm sure Brighton will carve it's place before too long as well. It was nice to be able to meet people throughout the area and in the ward this week- there are a TON of really strong members and it's interesting for me to try and find my place as a missionary. In past areas, there were PLENTY of things for missionaries to do because they were mobile search and rescue units. The church has an incredible organization where every member has other members who are assigned to take care of needs if there are any, and visit them from time to time to uplift, inspire, and encourage the individual as well as their family. When members of the ward go through a hard time, there is a system in place so that there are people who have responsibility already. When the members don't live up to that duty, the missionaries often fill in the gaps. It's pretty cool- in the Rochester 3rd ward there really aren't that many gaps. There's still plenty for us to do, but it'll be very different than where I was needed in Buffalo and Brockport. Happy and excited about it- just trying to figure out whats going on. Ha.


The weirdest phenomenon has been happening this week- everyone looks familiar! I think I might be losing my mind, but I seem to spend half of my time trying to figure out where I know people. Strange.


This week I have been thinking a lot about how often we complain about blessings these days. Maybe it just seems that way from where I'm sitting, but I've noticed it not only in many of those around me but in myself. When I say complain about blessings, I mean complaining when things aren't as wonderful as we would prefer them to be. Getting upset that a house isn't as functional as we would prefer or a meal isn't as satisfying or a lesson isn't as inspiring as it could have been. Shouldn't we be grateful that it was anything good? I just realized how frustrating it must be for those in worse circumstances. Consider it- would you complain about your outfit in front of someone who has holes in their shoes? Would you complain about a bad hair day to someone with alopecia? Would you complain about eating something less than appealing to someone without food at all? I'd like to think about that more in the future when I think I've got it bad. So embarrassing. That's part of the reason I think we are commanded to pray often! When we feel that our lives are lamentable, Heavenly Father can lovingly remind us of one who never enjoyed selfish pleasure- Jesus Christ.


In other news! This weekend I met back up with Sister Wall and we ran a 5k! It was her first ever and she did great! Our time was 31:39 and I felt super good afterwords which is a good sign. We're thinking we should work up to a half marathon in the future...a bunch of missionaries ran in it. Sister Hausauer and Torres had been asked to cook pancakes for the breakfast afterwords so we just did a switch for a while. I love the atmosphere of races. There were quite a few kids that ran in it, too. All weekend I've thought a lot about families I've known and the possibility of my own in the future. I've been super pensive all weekend- pretty quiet. Sister Hausauer probably thinks I'm getting sick. Changes just bring on a lot of new thoughts. Whenever that happens though you just can't seem to shake that tired feeling. I wonder if I'll ever not be tired.


Some days you all seem so distant! Like I routinely get on the computer and talk to myself or something. It's gotten to be more like that the longer I've been on my mission. I keep hearing about other friends who have gotten home or thinking of friends who I know will get home soon. That seems like a different dimension now. I hope everyone is well and dealing with whatever adjustments may be sneaking up on them with as much strength as they can muster. That matrix feeling is something else.


That's...all I've got. Exciting city stories to come next week.

Till then,

Hermana Raines


P.S. We spent the day today raking leaves with 2 of the elders we serve with and one of them tried to fix my tiny guitar! He deemed it to need professional help. But it's still exciting! One day that thing will be my pride and joy. It's pretty close now. Lil cutie.

Sell that cabin

Haha...I'M GETTING TRANSFERRED.

Again!

This will be my fourth area and fourth companion. I will really miss Brockport. It's been a crazy up and down experience, but I have loved my time here. Packing this morning has been the weirdest experience...I feel like it really is time for me to go but I snuggled right into this area.


Where am I going, you ask? Into the city! I've predicted my whole mission that I would end up in Brighton and it looks to be true. Brighton is a Spanish sisters area and it's in the city of Rochester. Brockport was about 45 minutes from the inner city and now I'm maybe 5. I'm going with Sister Hausauer who is from Utah (3 out of 4 so far- what odds?) and she was actually my first friend in the mission so this...may or may not turn out to be a party! Pretty close to a dream. I expect to be in Brighton until the end of my mission which is 7 months from today. I'm actually the most nervous I've been on my mission to go into this area though because I am replacing Sister Torres- she was in Brighton for 9 transfers (a full year) and she is a native from Nicaragua. How in the world am I supposed to step in there?! I have never been more grateful for my study and experience with Spanish before my mission. Sheesh. I'm so used to starting fresh with an area that I'm really not sure what to expect. Here we go!


So with that exciting announcement, moving on.

It's cold again.

Which means...tights.

Ugh. Tights.

This week one morning as I was putting on my tights I had a vivid flashback of being a little girl and watching my dad put tights on me before church. I always wanted to stick my tiny feet in and pull them up like a pair of jeans, but Dad always bunched them up first and pulled them up like a slinky. I couldn't help but appreciate how much I've learned since I've been young. That might seem like an inconsequential thing, but so much that I've picked up over the years has built into whatever strengths and weaknesses I carry around now. Things like how to put on tights or how to do the dishes have helped me as an adult and missionary in obvious ways. When I was in elementary school we moved almost every year. Now I've hopped around the Rochester Mission like it's a snack bar! I wonder if the skills I've needed to move so often started being developed in that early experience. Behaviors like selfishness and intolerance (picked up pretty naturally I would think) are patterns that I continually have to put aside. Not having sisters has made living with a girl 24/7 a little interesting and it's something I'm still adapting to. There are so many things that have prepped me for what I'm doing now. I assume it'll continue that way- one day when I'm a grandma I'll look back on my time as a missionary and see how I was being prepped for my reponsibilities and trials in the future. Little did my dad know when he helped me put on tights before church on Sundays that he was preparing me to be a missionary! I'm grateful for who I am becoming.


This week...definitely let me know that I was moving. Often when it's time for a missionary to move, the people who you were working with that particularly connected to you make their choice. Too busy, too comfortable, too smart for their own good. Satisfied not learning anything else. When I've done what I needed to do, it's time for me to go. It was like that in Shortsville and Buffalo, too. It's a hard feeling, but at least there is closure. I'm grateful for how many people I have come to love so quickly.


I'd upload photos but these computers really hate me, so maybe in my next area I'll have a way to do it. I hope everyone is doing well! Sorry that this week's email is a little short. All is well with me. I am happy. Next week, you'll hear from the city of Rochester. WHATS UP.

Love you all :)

Sister Raines

Ode to Sunshine

Conference weekend is over! So sad. Much to say about that.



But first, I found something today that was...interesting. It's an internet-button-deal that proclaims:

"Just shut up, okay?
I'm allowed to dislike somebody who hurt me.
I'm allowed to say what I want,
laugh how I want,
do what I want,
and be who I want.
This is my life, and if you don't like it
then there's something wrong with yours, not mine."
I'm sorry but I had a really hard time not laughing when I read that! It occurred to me that the fact that someone felt it was cool or even just acceptable to not only have an attitude like that but to wear it means things have changed quite a bit. It's true- anyone is allowed to dislike someone who hurt them or to do whatever they want. Clearly the purpose of the blurb was to revile judgement, but what it really ended up doing was identifying an individual who was seeking to dodge consequences. What does it help to dislike someone who causes you pain? We all get hurt. A better proclamation would incite forgiveness to those who don't ask for it, saying whatever would uplift and encourage, laughing with those who need a good laugh instead of at them, doing good, and being good. Sure, hormonal preteen- you have the ability to live your life however you'd like. Just make sure you know what it is you're asking for.


These are the kinds of things I learn doing internet proselyting. Sheesh.


Ok! So I would tell you which talk was my favorite from conference but I can't pick because there were too many! I think my favorite session was Saturday morning....maybe Saturday afternoon. They were all spectacular and I got a lot of answers to things I've had questions about. More importantly, I got homework! Kind of. Ha :) I've found that normally an answer to prayer comes in the form of homework. Rarely do I ask questions like "Should I go to church on Sunday?" because those questions have pretty easy answers. The questions I come to meetings like that with are normally a lot more difficult. How do I help someone who is hurting? What should I do to get rid of this pain? How can I prepare for my future family? How can I be a better citizen? Those questions yield some serious results- and leads me to change who I am afterwords! Every experience reading scriptures, praying, and receiving direction from the spirit should lead us to be stronger, and more aligned with what we need to do to find happiness- the REAL stuff- for ourselves and for others.

One story that really stood out to me was that of when Christ comes to some of His apostles after He has risen from the dead. Peter and several other apostles, grieved and seemingly defeated after Christ's death, return to fishing. They were fishermen, and now that their leader was gone, they would go back to what they knew how to do. This is where Christ asks Peter, "Do you love me?" The experience ultimately flings the "fisherman again turned apostle" into his full throttle discipleship- a discipleship that worked wonders until his martyrdom. Christ needed Peter to understand that if he was to do this work, he needed to really do it! There's no turning back, you know? We never go back to our nets. Did Peter expect that the work would stop? In a way, I could see the exchange between Peter and the Savior happening to me. If I were asked, "Do you love me?" and if I were to reply, "Yeah Lord, Thou knowest I love thee," would He then turn and ask me, "Then why are you here again? Why are you doing this?" I want to be good and do good. Not because I'm trying to earn anything, but because it's what He's asked of me. Does that make sense?


You may have guessed...I have a new song this week haha. I don't know WHAT the deal is with Brockport but here we are again. One day I really will record these, if only for memory purposes.


Dawn dispels the darkness
When the window lets it through
Rise and shine and pull the blinds
And hope for something new
Keep your faith in people
Even when your read the news
Sometimes we all lose our way
When we are left to choose



Don't look now, but tomorrow is coming
And you still can't catch today
Full of hope that this time will do it for you
If you wake and nothing's changed
You'll make it through the day anyway

Paralysis of life's regrets
Comes knocking now and then
Days when I am stifled by
"If" and "could have been"
Aching for the innocence
That left you long ago
Sometimes begging God above
To take back all you know

Don't look now but tomorrow is coming
And you still can't catch today
Full of hope that this time will do it for you
If you wake and nothing's changed
You'll make it through the day anyway


Don't give up, keep going
All the seeds you're sewing
Cannot be seen from where you stand
But there's a bigger plan
Don't you quit- keep walking
Even if the whole town's talking
Kneel when you've no strength to stand
There's a bigger plan
Don't look now but tomorrow is coming
And you still can't catch today
Full of hope that this time will do it for you
If you wake, and nothing's changed
You'll make it through the day anyway



That song took a lot out of me- I spent a few days in some kind of recovery haha. My hope is that these will help/have helped someone along the way. I always think of Alaina because I know she appreciates lyrics the same way I do. Anyways folks I'm heading out for today. If you're wondering what you should do now that this email is ending, let me help you. Go watch conference or watch it again!

Aren't I helpful :)

Love!

Sister Raines

Instrumental

This week was the General Relief Society Broadcast! And let me tell you...it was so good. There was a point in the middle somewhere when we stood and sung (11th inning stretch?) and for some reason my heart caught and I felt SUCH pride to be a woman! No haters out there. I just looked around the room and was so proud of all the beautiful women I have had a chance to know and serve in Rochester, New York. There was a woman with down syndrome standing in front of the lot of us singing her heart out, a row of ladies behind me who do much more than they ever receive credit for, Sister Thomas and her new companion on my left, and dear Sister Wall on my right. There's a new General Relief Society presidency so this was my first time hearing them speak and they were wonderful! I know very little about their backgrounds and experiences but I'm grateful for what they stand for. I look forward to getting to know them better as we hear them speak....THIS WEEKEND!


Hey that's right! It's time again for General Conference! I'm so excited. Saturday and Sunday just go to gc.lds.org and hit up at least a few talks! If you think about it, it really is a magnificent opportunity. Think of Peter or Abraham or Elijah- if you got the chance to hear more from one of them, wouldn't you at least be curious about what they would say? In truth, the prophet and apostles of our day have invited us to hear what they have to say. It's our choice to take it for what it's worth, but how would anyone not be at least a little curious? As Christ said, "He that hath ears to hear, let him hear." (Matt. 11:15)

Since this week was the end of the month, we....started running out of miles. We have a fixed limit for the month and because we went to Palmyra for interviews among a few extra trips to the outermost part of our area, we were cutting it close. We ended up staying under because we walked most everywhere this week, which provided me with a lot of fresh air, time to think, and stronger legs! Plus a deep appreciation for those shoes of mine. Anyways it was a good week. Not much news really, but it was good. Only 2 weeks left in the transfer, so we'll see where this next bend takes me.

I hope everyone is doing well- I'm waaaay behind on writing letters so I apologize. We're in Rochester today because Sister Wall had another doctors appointment. Hallelujah that I haven't had any need for a doctor or dentist or anything on my mission! Whew. Have a great week everyone :) Sorry it was short this week.
Sister Raines

PS. You all should really watch this video. http://mormonchannel.org/mormonmessages?v=1737858986001

It's the third in a series of three, but I liked the last one the most and I know most of you will disregard what I put up here so I've got a better shot at encouraging you to watch just one. Elder Bednar is one of the 12 apostles. I'm grateful for his inspiration and concern for all who go through a hard time (meaning everyone on the Earth). Let me know what you think!

Tiny Bibles

"The world is a beautiful place, and perhaps nowhere more so than during the Autumn in New York." -Patricia West



Dear friends, this week was pure insanity. The mom in the family we've been teaching took off- she's moved out and taken to drinking which she's apparently never done in her life. Mary has been sick all week so we weren't able to see her, and Connie has decided she wants to continue to learn more on her own without our assistance. That's all we've had- my hope has been building in people and their ability to choose to do the right thing against all odds or circumstances, and then this week I had to see if I really believed that. I don't really have that much evidence that it happens ha. A few weeks ago I started a "joy in the journey" focus and study. It's interesting to me that as I started to try and learn to find happiness and peace in life regardless of circumstance, Heavenly Father upped the stakes to see if I was really serious about learning this lesson. Well let me tell you, I am! And I admire the attitude of Pat West, who said the above quote in a talk she gave yesterday.


Yesterday another missionary and I were going through Moroni chapter 7 and we started talking about things we take for granted so often. In the list were things like living in a free country, use of limbs, modern medicine, technology, food supply...it really could go on forever. I started thinking about my "joy in the journey" theme in that light and it occurred to me that it's silly that I even have to search to find joy in a journey with so many blessings. As I sat in church yesterday my heart was heavy looking around at all of the families I've come to know and love so much. As a missionary you get a very personal view of the challenges and obstacles people face. Brockport is littered with people in pain, each of them tirelessly searching for peace. It can be easy to be overwhelmed with the things that hurt, it's true. I'm embarrassed that so often I focus in so much on the hard things that the blessings become blurry and sidelined. Life is hard- it wasn't created to be easy because then we would emerge unchanged. It's also a beautiful, magnificent gift. I am grateful for perspective.


You all may have heard this already but someone said it yesterday and I think it's sweet so I'll share:
'Your task is to build a better world,' God said.
I answered, 'How?... this world is such a large, vast place
and there's nothing I can do.'
But God said, in all His wisdom said,
'just build a better you.'

I want so much to help people make good decisions- to resolve disputes through love instead of contention, to make selfless decisions instead of selfish ones, to keep working and trying even when weary, to give to others even when we don't think we have anything to give, to pray when we're not sure if anyone is even there to listen. If I could I would instantaneously instill hope in everyone who reads this, but it means more when you look for it on your own anyways.

This week is going to be a better one! Not necessarily because better things will happen, but because I'm determined to be better. You'll see :)

That's all for this week, I think. I sure do love a lot of people out there- I hope you're all doing alright.
Till next week,
Hermana Ray

P.S. This morning I remembered the fish kiss thing Sean and I used to do and busted up laughing. He's gonna kill me for embarrassing him when I get home! Muahaha

Clarendon

Sometimes writing these emails is really lame because I would much rather explain in person. Typing is so silly.


This week ended up good. I've found that often before really good things, all hell breaks loose. I think it's to make the rainbow at the end more beautiful for you, and maybe a reward for all the work it took to get through the storm. Either way! So this week was the first week working with the new Elders and the smaller area! It was nice. We got a chance to go into parts of our area that we've never seen, and let me tell you- I am living in one beautiful place! There are these long stretches of fields and orchards with very few people but it's nice when you need a bit of time to think. These days it seems I run into those moments alot. This Earth is one beautiful place.

This week was full of Spanish randomly! ...I don't really know what happened! When I say full, that is relatively speaking. I taught like 4 lessons in Spanish. Sometimes I think Heavenly Father sends some of those my way just so I don't lose it and then it's over. We'll see! There's a man named Jose who comes to church every Sunday but doesn't want to read in the Book of Mormon because he's Catholic. But he's been taking us to teach his friends haha. He's...very interesting. None of his friends speak English, but Jose speaks English very quickly with an extremely thick, Salvadorian accent. He's just as difficult to understand speaking English as he is in Spanish, so normally he's just passed on to me. Just such a funny circumstance all around.

We've been teaching the Albright family, a lady named Mary and a lady named Connie consistently. It's strange how much I've come to care about these people! I mean it's easy to love people in general, but week after week as I come to understand their fears and concerns and background these people really come to own a part of me in a way. We open ourselves up- we're so vulnerable- and it's worth it! But I know that any day someone could turn around and suddenly decide they don't want us to come back. It happened in Buffalo, and I know it's possible to happen here. It's just so hard to get over! I hope and pray it doesn't happen with the people we're teaching now. I really do love them so much.

This week was also the real change from summer to autumn. It's cold and it ain't turning back! Everyone keeps talking about how cold this winter will be...maybe they're all crazy! Or maybe I'll come back with a ton of stories! We shall see.

I know I've thought a lot about things this week, but my head is still kind of a jumbled mess so I'm having trouble writing anything ha. Hopefully by next week more will be processed and I'll have more to say. For now, just know that I am doing well, working hard, and growing a lot. I hope everyone else can say the same.

Till next week,

Sister Raines

Fried Green Tomatoes

Transfer calls came! And...I'm still here! However they are splitting Brockport in two and we are getting a set of Elders which is nice. This area is so dadgum huge. Plus, it'll be nice to have more people out here to add to our tiny 4 person district. On to bigger and better things- 6 person district here we come! The Elders are Elder Jones and Elder Perkins, both of which are really great. Elder Jones served in Canandaigua with me so it'll be fun to have him in the same ward again. Elder Perkins is one of the nicest Elders out here! And we just recently found out that he was a rodeo star in Idaho....WHAT?!




This week was good. Nothing extremely new or extraordinary, but it was good. Forever I spend trying to be a better person and working as hard as I can. Some weeks the fruit of your labor is manifest, and other weeks you're just a few more miles down the road. There were, for some reason though, a ton of particularly beautiful scenes this week- a huge moon, beautiful sunset, stretching cornfields...maybe they've always been there and I've just never noticed! In any event, I'm grateful for the beauty of the Earth. What a gem it is.



We did a lot of service this week! Maybe that's why I'm drawing a blank. It was really good and ultimately (for better or for worse) I have a lot of time to think when we do service. It's harvest time for peppers and tomatoes so we've been helping some older ladies who ended up with more produce than they could handle in the hot sun :) We have also been helping people clean and organize their house. I'm really grateful that we learned early to clean and everything. Life is so much easier with a neat house! Yikes.



To be honest, if I had a large soapbox, I would be tempted to use it. If I could help the world understand one thing it would be to be reliable. When you promise to pay someone back, to clean behind your ear, to keep a secret, or anything else that we give our word for, do it! Marriages would work again, people would trust, those truly in need of help could receive it, the nice guy wouldn't get cheated, and we would all end up a lot happier. So much depends on simply following through when you say you will do something. I want to be a person made of honesty and integrity.
We're still teaching Rick and Colleen- I can't remember if I've mentioned them before, but we've been teaching them for a few weeks now. They are really really wonderful, but Rick especially is having a hard time humbling himself enough to see that God answers prayers in His time and in His way. Unless we come to Him in reverence and meekness, we're kind of wasting our time. How silly is it to come in combat with the Almighty? Especially when He wants to help us in the first place? We also started teaching their daughter Shawna (she's 23) and she's really made some pretty damaging decisions already. She has trouble believing that she could ever be a different person- that she could ever be rid of her past mistakes. It's when I'm teaching people like that that I come to better understand the Atonement. I don't believe that Christ suffered so that "bad" people could sin and get off the hook, but I do believe that He suffered so that bad people wishing to become new could do so. Shawna has a good heart. She hasn't led the best life in the few years she's had, but as the prophet, Thomas S. Monson said, "The future is as bright as your faith." I look forward to trying to help her understand potential. Isn't is such a blessing that we have that available to us? I wish all the world could know of Christ's love and sacrifice.



Well that's pretty much the update for this week. I'm sure the coming week will bring many new surprises! I hope school is going well for everyone. Love,

Sister Raines

"Nectar of the Gods," he said.

First of all, I have the most amazing thing to announce.

I HELPED MAKE HONEY THIS WEEK! It's true. You are all shocked. I didn't go out into the hive, but I did boldly face a few bees that weren't happy we were harvesting their honey. With a nifty jacket, of course. Knowing that there would be many of you that wouldn't believe that I accomplished such a feat, Sister Wall took pictures.
Paul DeGraff in the Brockport Ward has his own bee hives! The DeGraffs are so cool. One of Brother DeGraff's favorite things to do is to compare bees to different Gospel topics. He explained to us how similar bees are to God's plan for each of us. He'd really have to tell you to do it justice, but just know that I keep some pretty stellar company out here.

Now that you all know that. We have been teaching a man named Emanuel who is a retired professr of philospy at the University of Rochester. Last time we talked to him he was just over 50 pages into the Book of Mormon. Emanuel was talking to us about how people are naturally in need of 3 things: To be loved, to be accepted, to be understood. I agree with him. Obviously there are different kinds of needs, like physical needs. But overall those are the most important. I've been thinking about how missions can take you away from those 3 things. You spend your days as a misunderstood outcast from society ha. People of different age and status mock us and our very presence often infuriates people before we even say a word- clearly far from loved. We are separated from attributes that made us accepted- good clothes, grades, income, talent, old friends, family- it's no wonder there are missionariesi that come home early suffering from depression. It's a very real concern and my heart goes out to those who feel alone and without solace. However, I have found that these most extreme of circumstances create the perfect opportunity to come to understand not only the necessity of, but the very existance of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
In the world we live in, the name of God has essentially been made into a joke. It's a taboo and uncomfortable subject. The problem is that not understanding God the Father and Jesus Christ leads to misunderstanding their roles in our lives. In knowing that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Savior and Redeemer of the world, we can come ot understand how He can bear our infirmities and be there at all times. Slowly but surely it begins to mean something to say my needs of being loved, understood and accepted are met through someone I can't see. It's not an abstract idea anymore.
So then our role as missionaries is very real. Some make joke that we set out to save the world in vain, not understanding that curing the injustice and heartache of the world doesn't come through membership in a church or in reading passages. It doesn't come through being dunked under water and it doesn't come through doing nice things for people. Rather, those things are tools that help develop a relationship with our Father in Heaven and peace DOES come through that. Just as a tractor is not the ticket to sustenance and the paintbrush itself makes no one famous, we have been give tools to lead us to success. As it always has been and always will be, it is up to us as to how we use them. I am grateful for the experiences I've had so far that are allowing me to come to know Christ better. I'm grateful for the Book of Mormon and the Bible as well as modern-day prophets and apostles who lead and guide us towards Christ. I'm grateful that I've taken the time to figure out the truth of those tools for myself, because no promise that a paintbrush works will create a mural for someone who won't pick it up.

I've also been thinking a lot about how much we are like clay! Always being shaped and reformed. Sometimes it hurts, but it's going to hurt to be shifted! Resisting the process and hardening our clay creates two things:
1. An ugly product
2. A more painful process
As we soften and come to understand why were are going through the things that we are and why we're being molded a certain way, we can facilitate and even, at times, enjoy the process.

Ok well that's probably plenty from me for one week :) I hope everyone is doing well.
-Hermana Raines

Failure is a stepping stone

"Weeds are not a waste. They are just flowers that no one ever loved." Sister Kimberly Wall

This week has been somewhat of a blur haha. It's been a good week, though. There are mornings where I wake up and go to the mirror and realize that I'm aging. Those eyes have been with me for as long as I knew they were mine but every once in a while things happen that make us all grow older together. They're still pretty little eyes to me, just weathered.

Before I go on, I have an announcement! The mission office that gives me my mail and whatnot is moving locations, so starting this week please send all mail to this address:

Natalie Raines
New York Rochester Mission
460 Kreag Road
Pittsford, NY 14534

If you've already sent something to the Perinton address it's ok it'll probably get to me fine, but from now on just send it to this new one. Thank ye :)

We had zone conference on Tuesday which was really good for me. Elder Hole and I sung an a capella mix of "Lead Kindly Light" and "I Need Thee Every Hour." We sung it once and it was fine but at the end President Christianson surprised us and had us sing it again as the closing hymn. It was then that I was led to my demise! What happened is we sung the first verse of each and then for the final verse I sung "Lead Kindly Light" while Elder Hole sung "I Need Thee Every Hour." By the final verse I was toast- crying in front of the entire Rochester zone. I was able to sing my parts occasionally, but overall I was no good. Read through the lyrics of these two hymns and maybe it'll make a little more sense.

Lead Kindly Light:
Lead,kindly light amid the encircling gloom; lead thou me on
The night is dark and I am far from home; Lead thou me on
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene- one step enough for me

I Need Thee Every Hour:
I need thee every hour, most gracious Lord
No tender voice like thine can peace afford
I need thee, oh, I need thee
Every hour I need thee
Oh bless me now, my Savior- I come to thee

I talked to President Christianson afterwords and he promised it didn't ruin the song so I'm glad to hear that. I am grateful for the people I serve with. They are kind and concerned always without needing to ask too many questions.

It's been entertaining to compare Austin's mission experience with mine. I think one of the hardest things for me here has been that generally people in New York don't want help. With...anything. I'm grateful for the chance to learn what that feels like though because I am one who often does not like accepting help with anything. I've found that when people help us they learn to love us and we love them in return. Essentially when we don't help people or don't accept help, we're just saying, "I don't really want to love you. But thanks." I would love to be able to do more things for people.

In the end, friends, I'm doing well. I am learning more and more about myself every day. I am forever sewing tiny seeds of glad tidings. It's not a terrible thing to be doing.
Till next week!
Sister Raines