"Nectar of the Gods," he said.

First of all, I have the most amazing thing to announce.

I HELPED MAKE HONEY THIS WEEK! It's true. You are all shocked. I didn't go out into the hive, but I did boldly face a few bees that weren't happy we were harvesting their honey. With a nifty jacket, of course. Knowing that there would be many of you that wouldn't believe that I accomplished such a feat, Sister Wall took pictures.
Paul DeGraff in the Brockport Ward has his own bee hives! The DeGraffs are so cool. One of Brother DeGraff's favorite things to do is to compare bees to different Gospel topics. He explained to us how similar bees are to God's plan for each of us. He'd really have to tell you to do it justice, but just know that I keep some pretty stellar company out here.

Now that you all know that. We have been teaching a man named Emanuel who is a retired professr of philospy at the University of Rochester. Last time we talked to him he was just over 50 pages into the Book of Mormon. Emanuel was talking to us about how people are naturally in need of 3 things: To be loved, to be accepted, to be understood. I agree with him. Obviously there are different kinds of needs, like physical needs. But overall those are the most important. I've been thinking about how missions can take you away from those 3 things. You spend your days as a misunderstood outcast from society ha. People of different age and status mock us and our very presence often infuriates people before we even say a word- clearly far from loved. We are separated from attributes that made us accepted- good clothes, grades, income, talent, old friends, family- it's no wonder there are missionariesi that come home early suffering from depression. It's a very real concern and my heart goes out to those who feel alone and without solace. However, I have found that these most extreme of circumstances create the perfect opportunity to come to understand not only the necessity of, but the very existance of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
In the world we live in, the name of God has essentially been made into a joke. It's a taboo and uncomfortable subject. The problem is that not understanding God the Father and Jesus Christ leads to misunderstanding their roles in our lives. In knowing that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, the Savior and Redeemer of the world, we can come ot understand how He can bear our infirmities and be there at all times. Slowly but surely it begins to mean something to say my needs of being loved, understood and accepted are met through someone I can't see. It's not an abstract idea anymore.
So then our role as missionaries is very real. Some make joke that we set out to save the world in vain, not understanding that curing the injustice and heartache of the world doesn't come through membership in a church or in reading passages. It doesn't come through being dunked under water and it doesn't come through doing nice things for people. Rather, those things are tools that help develop a relationship with our Father in Heaven and peace DOES come through that. Just as a tractor is not the ticket to sustenance and the paintbrush itself makes no one famous, we have been give tools to lead us to success. As it always has been and always will be, it is up to us as to how we use them. I am grateful for the experiences I've had so far that are allowing me to come to know Christ better. I'm grateful for the Book of Mormon and the Bible as well as modern-day prophets and apostles who lead and guide us towards Christ. I'm grateful that I've taken the time to figure out the truth of those tools for myself, because no promise that a paintbrush works will create a mural for someone who won't pick it up.

I've also been thinking a lot about how much we are like clay! Always being shaped and reformed. Sometimes it hurts, but it's going to hurt to be shifted! Resisting the process and hardening our clay creates two things:
1. An ugly product
2. A more painful process
As we soften and come to understand why were are going through the things that we are and why we're being molded a certain way, we can facilitate and even, at times, enjoy the process.

Ok well that's probably plenty from me for one week :) I hope everyone is doing well.
-Hermana Raines

Failure is a stepping stone

"Weeds are not a waste. They are just flowers that no one ever loved." Sister Kimberly Wall

This week has been somewhat of a blur haha. It's been a good week, though. There are mornings where I wake up and go to the mirror and realize that I'm aging. Those eyes have been with me for as long as I knew they were mine but every once in a while things happen that make us all grow older together. They're still pretty little eyes to me, just weathered.

Before I go on, I have an announcement! The mission office that gives me my mail and whatnot is moving locations, so starting this week please send all mail to this address:

Natalie Raines
New York Rochester Mission
460 Kreag Road
Pittsford, NY 14534

If you've already sent something to the Perinton address it's ok it'll probably get to me fine, but from now on just send it to this new one. Thank ye :)

We had zone conference on Tuesday which was really good for me. Elder Hole and I sung an a capella mix of "Lead Kindly Light" and "I Need Thee Every Hour." We sung it once and it was fine but at the end President Christianson surprised us and had us sing it again as the closing hymn. It was then that I was led to my demise! What happened is we sung the first verse of each and then for the final verse I sung "Lead Kindly Light" while Elder Hole sung "I Need Thee Every Hour." By the final verse I was toast- crying in front of the entire Rochester zone. I was able to sing my parts occasionally, but overall I was no good. Read through the lyrics of these two hymns and maybe it'll make a little more sense.

Lead Kindly Light:
Lead,kindly light amid the encircling gloom; lead thou me on
The night is dark and I am far from home; Lead thou me on
Keep thou my feet; I do not ask to see
The distant scene- one step enough for me

I Need Thee Every Hour:
I need thee every hour, most gracious Lord
No tender voice like thine can peace afford
I need thee, oh, I need thee
Every hour I need thee
Oh bless me now, my Savior- I come to thee

I talked to President Christianson afterwords and he promised it didn't ruin the song so I'm glad to hear that. I am grateful for the people I serve with. They are kind and concerned always without needing to ask too many questions.

It's been entertaining to compare Austin's mission experience with mine. I think one of the hardest things for me here has been that generally people in New York don't want help. With...anything. I'm grateful for the chance to learn what that feels like though because I am one who often does not like accepting help with anything. I've found that when people help us they learn to love us and we love them in return. Essentially when we don't help people or don't accept help, we're just saying, "I don't really want to love you. But thanks." I would love to be able to do more things for people.

In the end, friends, I'm doing well. I am learning more and more about myself every day. I am forever sewing tiny seeds of glad tidings. It's not a terrible thing to be doing.
Till next week!
Sister Raines

Life's not easy being mean

First of all, song update.
I changed the bridge for the last song I sent out, so now the bridge is this:
Say your prayers, don't wish on stars
Stars don't understand who you are
Wishing wells won't change your fate
Thowing coins away as you wait

And I got all the piano finished! So it's done done. I also started a new song this week with a VERY different feel, so here are some of the lyrics :)
Life's not easy being mean
Only caring how you're seen
No wonder when you're feeling down
No one wants to be around
Life's not easy being mean

Life's not easy when you whine
We've had enough- you've crossed the line
If you would lose your attitude
You could find a better mood
Life's not easy when you whine

Life's not easy being vain
Successful people cause you pain
You put your whole life on a shelf
When you focus on yourself
Life's not easy being vain

Feel free to live your life
How it seems to you you should
But for me myself, and I
I'm gonna try my hand at good

Life's not easy when you hate
No one to appreciate
What did we ever do to you?

We are rubber, you are glue
Life's not easy when you hate


Ok to understand the song (like all the others ha) you really have to hear the whole composition, but it'll do for now. It's really upbeat- I'm thinking trumpet, harmonies, harmonica? Still playing with it.

So you may have gathered, but this week we ran into many more really hateful people! I mostly just hate it for Sister Wall because she's the sweetest ever! It bothers me when people are mean to her! I'm mean enough on my own so maybe I deserve it but not little Sister Wall! It's frustrating when people are rude because when we knock on doors all it takes is for someone to say "I'm not interested but thank you!" And we say something along the lines of, "Ok have a nice day!" Sometimes we might as if there's anyone they know of who is going through a hard time that we could do service for. Shockingly terrible, I know. How dare I ask for service opportunities.
I've found since being here that one of the biggest insults someone could offer me would be to tell me that I'm not a christian, followed by asserting something else I do or do not believe. Who is anyone to tell ME what it is that I believe? Who is anyone to rob me of the title of Christian? It's nice to know that those outside of the Christian faith, and especially those outside of the religious realm, see this going on and think it's hysterical. Jon Stewart called a news anchor on Fox news out before my mission because she said something like "they consider themselves Christians" on national television. It actually really hurts! Mostly because everything I do in my life, especially as a missionary, is centered on the example and teachings of Jesus Christ. If you don't want to learn more about what I believe that is your perogative but don't you dare take the privilege of His name from me. Especially with contempt! It baffles me. Ah! I could go on forever.

Austin moved into my cousin's ward in Kingston! It feels like such a blessing! Somehow when I read that I just felt so happy knowing that he gets a chance to get to know them and that they get to know him! I am grateful that if anything happened to Austin (even though he has a huge web of connections and back up as a missionary) that some of the best people I know are right there to help him. I love that Heavenly Father really is aware of what we need and where we are! Sometimes it takes a while to see it, and sometimes it feels like He's far away. In the end He knows what's going on and actually cares! I'm grateful also that I get the chance to try and tell that to anyone who will listen.

Oh yeah! I almost forgot to mention. Sister Wall and I taught a college class this week haha. We were invited to teach a class on about the church and there were between 12 and 16 people there. Something like that. I didn't count. It was a social work and religions class and it lasted about two hours. It went pretty well! I love settings like that because people can just ask whatever questions they want, and it's not like we're trying to hide anything. There are always questions and random things that people seem to hear that bother them but they never have the heart to ask. In that setting it was a lot easier for them though and I think it was nice for everyone to walk away with a little more understanding of those in their community! All the students were really respectful in the way they asked their questions, too. I remembered how much I love teaching groups! So much fun. It'll be nice to get back and start teaching again.

Well I think that's it for this week. A year from now Austin and I will both be home! I'm glad we have the chance to grow so much before we start life together for real. Big step on the countdown, Dressman family :)
Love,
Sister Raines

Sorpresa!

Hi, everyone! Bet you weren't expecting to hear from me today :) I just have a quick message for you all.

My life is full of people I care about very dearly, and marriage effects all of them. Many of my close friends are married or about to be, and my family is made up of marriages in varying degrees of health. I am grateful for the apostles and prophets who lead and guide us today, and that is where this message I'm sending you all comes from. If you want to do anything for me, please watch this with an open heart.

I don't seem to cry that often anymore, but this got me close. Life is made up of baby steps. I love you guys.

Gregorio bids farewell

Weird week! Many much thoughts. Buckle up or go play on facebook instead.

First big idea:
I have become so accustomed to noise! There are long, beautiful, quiet country roads in between little clusters of cities in my area and the other night as I was sitting in the apartment I stopped and realized how much was going on even when no one was talking! There isn't even a tv or radio in that apartment. Lights, AC, refrigerator and who knows what else creates a constant hum. This may seem like a super random observation, but I started thinking about how all of the noise creates comfort sometimes. Even I seem to sleep better when there's a fan going- something to block out the silence and random interjections that may come. Then I started to wonder if I ever do that emotionally or spiritually! Of course the answer is yes. It's so much more scary to handle the reality of questions unanswered. It's much easier to drown out doubt with noise. This week I'm trying to get rid of the extra. If there's a question about purpose of life, why would I listen to what everyone on this side of the planet has to say? Why should I run around in circles? This week is a renewed effort to go to the source with questions and concerns. Clear away the extra.

Second and really big idea:
Last week I mentioned that a man came to church out of the blue. This man ended up becoming quite the problem. Since after 8 months of emailing I assume only those who really care are still reading these, I'll be frank. He quickly turned slightly obsessive and after a little research, we discovered he wasn't being taught in his home area because he's a registered child molester. Clearly everyone deserves a chance to be taught the gospel of Jesus Christ. I do not believe that this man is outside of the bounds of the Atonement. There IS such a thing as a wise idea though :) Luckily without too much on our part, by the end of the week he texted us saying he has decided to stick to his Catholic roots. No more problem for the Brockport Sisters. 
And yet too late for my mind! I started thinking about the spectrum of insanity. We refer to mental instability in general terms of black and white. But at what point is someone insane? When I'm a little sleepy sometimes I don't think straight. When I'm upset or hungry or prideful I don't do things that a perfectly sane person would. For those who seem to have too much of an imbalance to successfully function in society, what was the purpose of that? It seems that we were put on this Earth with varying degrees of instability. With every punch that life gives out it seems sometimes we move a little further down. Thus the phrase, "You're driving me crazy!" :) I kept thinking about our run-ins this week, wondering when we're allowed to walk away from anyone we meet and label them as "nuts." It seems pretty obvious that sometimes people don't see things clearly, but this is a pretty foggy world. I'm reminded that it's in a foggy world that the beacon of light- even the Savior of all the world- stands out more clearly. Maybe it's those who are a little nuts who can recognize Him the best.

The members in Brockport are super kind! We are being taken care of well, so no worries about anything. There are a ton of anti-mormons in the area which has been interesting, but I guess there's a balance to everything. This week we realized that the area of Brockport is a third of the Rochester zone, and the Rochester zone is a fourth of the Rochester Mission. Whew! And we've got a pretty busy day planned so I think that might be all for this week. Sorry it's so intense.
Love love,
Hermana Ray

Random extras:
-We don't have bed bugs and everyone else does! Poor souls
-Sister Wall is seriously the best. AND she knows some ASL so while we walk we alternate between her teaching me ASL and me teaching her Spanish! It's great

-We acquired a plant named Bernie! Someone we talked to on the street was gardening and had some extra little guys so she offered us one!