Hilton

"What a happy people we should be with the knowledge we have that this probation is not to prepare us to die, but to live!" -Deseret Evening News

What a great week! Brockport has been beautiful so far. Our area is super huge compared to most areas, but I would much prefer that to being in a tiny area.
First of all, the apartment is great! We have AC! It's wonderful. Poor Buffalo. Not that it's been really warm anyways since NY has stayed in the 70s and 80s pretty much all summer it seems. I guess some days it gets into the 90s, but nothing crazy like the rest of the known world. The Elders we moved in after left it really clean which I'm grateful for, also. A little more about Sister Wall (I'm sending a picture of us at transfer meeting)- she is from Provo, Utah and she's an elementary teacher. She's a lot more timid and reflective than Sister Thomas, so adjusting teaching with her has been very different but it's been good! I've started to notice my own teaching style come out more now that I'm kind of more in the lead. Sister Wall has been on her mission about 10 months, so we're both around the halfway point. It's a good place to be.

I'm really grateful for the chance to be rotated so often and to have the chance to get to know so many different people while I'm on my mission. Sister Wall and I have already had some really good conversations. Everyone has different experiences and perspectives! So interesting. Everyone goes through pain, you know? No one is left unscathed, it seems. One of the biggest lessons I've learned from Sister Wall so far has been just to be yourself. As she put it, "We're meant to learn from each other, not become each other." It's true! We've talked a lot about how comparison and pride break us down. Can you imagine a God that created us just to stand back and watch us rank each other? So terrible! I'm grateful to know that I'm beautiful in my own way. It's a long road to figure that out, and I've still got a long way to go. I'm getting there, though. Sometimes I look at pictures of people from home: Alaina, Aly, Randi, Amanda, Jenevra, Steph, Mindy, Anita, Erma...I am always struck with how beautiful all of those wonderful women are! Every time I look at a picture! Immediately after I'm always worried that that don't see themselves that way and I wish there was a way I could show them. My perspective about beauty (and myself) is so different than it was 8 months ago! Sister Wall really is a great example for me.

Yesterday we got to meet the Brockport Ward and I love them! It's a tiny congregation, but they are so strong! I'm grateful for the chance I have to get to know them better. Something amazing happened yesterday at church besides running into tons of amazing people! A man named Joe walked into church out of the blue wanting to learn more. He's been taught by missionaries before, but this morning when he woke up he just really felt like he needed to go the LDS church. So he drove an hour from Waterport and found himself in my Gospel Principles class! (it was my assignment to teach Sunday school yesterday which worked out well)

Well that's actually all I can think of that you all would find interesting so I think I'll just wrap it up there. Just suffice it to say that it was a really fantastic week in the end.
Till Monday,
Hermana Raines

P.S. How is Aunt Ginny doing? I've been thinking a lot about her this week. I hope everything is good!

Sister Fetuli is training again! The "mom" and the "sister"

New companion!

Elder Adair! He's home now, but his Dad was my bishop for awhile in Provo and got me through a lot. I love the Adairs!

Saying bye to Little Sophia! She lived in the upstairs apartment in Buffalo. She told us that aliens eat peanut butter and jelly one night when that's what we had for dinner.

Saying bye to Taylor and Laney Hawes from Buffalo! I miss them already!

I forgot to mention! New song this week.
Lyrics:
Once I had a dream
A point from which to grow
Sometimes life can seem
To move so slow
Step by step we turn
Leaving what's behind
Keeping what you've learned
In heart and mind

Chorus:
I know I need to give it one more try
I bet even birds are scared to fly
Sometimes
Way up high and scared to die alone
And still dreaming

Other times you run
And time is going fast
You seem to race the sun
Wanting days to last
Ugly skies ahead
And racing ever near
Awake- arise from bed
There's no room for fear

You know you need to give it one more try
I bet even birds are scared to fly
Sometimes
Way up high and scared to die alone
But still dreaming

The more you stand tall
The further to fall and
The higher you go
The harder the blow since
The taller you stand
The harder you'll land
But the more you can see
The happier you'll be in the end

I know you need to give it one more try
I bet even birds are scared to fly
Sometimes
Way up high and scared to die alone
But still dreaming


"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our greatest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure." -Marianne Williamson

Sayolala, Buffalo gals!

Heya! Big news. First of all, I am back from pageant. We survived! In the end it was a lot more like spending all day every day at an amusement park than I anticipated. So tired, but it was really quite good. I'm grateful I got the chance to meet so many wonderful people! More about that later.

The real big news! I'm getting transferred! And...so is Sister Thomas! They are combining Buffalo North with Eggert, and Elder Vazquez and his newbie will take both areas. So I am going to Brockport with Sister Wall! It was an Elders area, so it will be similar to when we moved into Buffalo- both Sister Wall and I will be new. The really big news is...I'm still full proselyting! No visitors center for me still! I'm really really happy about it. This really is the dream for sister missionaries out here. The dream is to go full proselyting in Buffalo at all...but two different full proselyting areas is absolutely unheard of. I am so grateful! Plus I got the chance to live with Sister Wall in Fairport for the first week of pageant and she is really great. Comfortable with who she is and hard-working. It looks to be a good time coming up here. Also it will be cool to move into different territory because Brockport is in the Rochester zone. There are four zones in this mission: Palmyra South, Palmyra North, Buffalo and Rochester. This means the only zone I won't have experienced is Palmyra North :) SO HAPPY!

So moving into this new transfer, here are some lyrics from Mindy Gledhill:

I wanna hold the whole wide world
Right here in my open hands
Maybe I'm just a little girl
A little girl with great big plans

About this past week! I had some more really enlightening conversations. And thoughts. That seems to happen when your life is flooded with new people. One of the sister missionaries we lived with hit a wall where she realized she's been running from commitment her whole life. A pretty big realization if you ask me. It was interesting to talk to her about it and realize that so many of my friends and family are suffering from the same fears. They are understandable- they operate under the assumption that people who really knew you wouldn't love you, or that it would be easier to gravitate towards new people who somehow don't have flaws. Having companions has really been a great teacher not only for me but for all of the other sisters that EVERYONE has issues. After my mission I'll have options: I can stick with the people I love and work my problems and theirs, or I can keep running. The truth is, part of the reason we've been allotted time on Earth is to learn how to conquer our issues. We have the chance to learn how to really love someone and to learn how to be loved. That entails commitment, fidelity, moderation, respect, service and humility. If you can't make a relationship work here, you're really just asking for an eternity of solitude. It's a big, important thing. It'll definitely require more thought. But I'm glad I'm figuring it out.

I had a bunch more thoughts as I met the people who came through the sites this week, but they would take far too long to type and it would be far too much to read. I'll spare you all, and maybe tell you one day in the future :)

Exciting news from this week, though: I GOT TO SEE MCKENNA, MATT, AND THE CORDELLS! It was so beautiful and so good to see them! I really have some of the greatest friends in the world. I also got to see Sarah Ayer's family! They were wonderful and I talked to them for a little while. The greatest thing I realized seeing people from home and related to home was that life will slide right back into where it was- except better! It didn't feel at all like I hadn't seen McKenna in 8 months. I know that's how it will be for everyone when I see them again! Nothing too much changes. Even though my heart has changed and I'm a lot more stable than I was and I may have picked up different habits, I'm still me! And I still really love stripes and Greg Laswell! I still say really strange things and think too much and ask for hugs! Sometimes it's easy to get scared that life moves on without you, or that people will change when you're not looking. My personal progress does not mean I'm a different person. I'm still me :)

Well that's all for this week I think! Today is Sister Thomas' birthday (23 on the 23rd!) so we're gonna go celebrate! Much love from western New York!
Sister Raines

Deborah Tilley

The Rainey family! I kept seeing them on tour and I really like them! Sister Rainey gave me their information and offered for me to stay with them when I go back to Utah! People are so nice!

 

 

 

Sarah Ayer's family!

A scene from the pageant: Christ teaching the children

Dinner with my best friends!

Air Space

Welcome to the insanity that is the Hill Cumorah Pageant!

It really has been a beautiful week. Tiring! But beautiful. I really don't even know where to begin! We have 5 hours shifts of giving tours as Sister Missionaries. Sister Thomas and I have been at the Joseph Smith family farm for most of the week and then this coming week starting Wednesday we'll move down to Fayette and have 7 hour shifts at the Peter Whitmer farm. Friday and Saturday we had over 3,000 people come through the JS farm alone- that's each day we had that many. Sunday quite a bit slower and I expect today to be slower too since there's no pageant tonight, but we expect it to pick up again tomorrow since the show will be on every night from Tuesday to Saturday. In a lot of ways it's sad to give tours like this since we stand at a station for hours rather than getting to know a family as we take them through the sites, but it has been SO fun to see so many people from all over the world. There have been more Spanish bus tours than I expected! And there are only 5 Sisters who speak Spanish so they've kind of assigned me a radio whenever I'm on the grounds in case I need to translate. Normally someone in the group speaks English well enough, though. It's been nice to use the language. Some of the most memorable people from other places in the world were from Tahiti, French-speaking Canada, the Philippines, Sweden, and practically all of the Spanish speaking countries. I don't think I've met anyone from Nicaragua or Cuba yet this week...but the other Spanish speaking countries I have. SO fun. And terrifying :)

Another cool thing about being here for a few weeks is that we get to live with a bunch of other people! We live with 2 other sets of Sisters: Meister, McManama, Earl and Wall. They are really wonderful in their own ways which has been fun to observe. One of my favorite things is to look around at all of our suitcases draped across the floor. Everyone has a different style and different habits. I'm still learning to be satisfied with who I am and where I've come from. Sometimes I'm a little disheveled and weird. That's alright, you know? Sometimes you forget that living with the same people for extended periods of time.

On that note, I've been thinking a lot about personal choices. There's no avoiding the fact that our choices create our environments- they make life good or bad. Sometimes I think it's easy to get stuck on what we've personally decided though and then transfer it to all of those around us. On the mission where so much of our lifestyle is uniform, the little things come out more: eating habits, the way we teach, the way we study, narrowed music and clothing choices. Isn't it strange that human nature seems to lend itself to judgement? We all seem to want to justify ourselves by either assigning priority to our own personal way of doing things or by becoming completely apathetic. AKA If no one cares what anyone does about anything then no one can justifiably correct us. Truth is it should be somewhere in between. That's one of the trickiest aspects of law! Can we really impose ourselves on other people? How about when they want to hurt someone? What about when they want to hurt themselves? What if they wear clothes we don't like? Or no clothes at all? It's just been interesting to see how small scale that same syndrome goes.
We were recently talking with the Henrietta Sisters (McManama and Meister) about Literature vs. literature. (Big L vs. little l) Modern day prophets have counseled us to be careful about what we watch and listen to, etc. We are taught correct principles and then we're left to govern ourselves. It's easy to put lines on media and call it appropriate or not appropriate, but how edifying is it? We talked about how pointless it would be to watch Dora the Explorer all the time even though it's safe. Those lines would keep us from material that would make us bigger and better. Anyways there's a whole lot more along those lines but I don't really have time so...that's it for today :) I hope I didn't confuse anyone. 

Random!
-Every once in a while someone will come through with a son about my age and when I ask if they have any questions one of the parents will ask: "Can you marry my son?" Hello awkward. It's really terrible. For everyone.
-There are Anti-mormons who sit outside the pageant every night yelling things. Most of the things they yell are pretty funny if you ask me. I just hope they don't give anyone a hernia. Haters gon hate.
-I'm sorry I'm not sending pictures this week! I forgot my camera :( Next week!
-This week I was lucky enough to see Chelsea Cordell, Kevin O'Keefe, Baydon Hilton and his family and Hermana Santa Cruz from the MTC! It was great! I have some seriously amazing people in my life. So grateful!

Ok that's it for this week! Next week we will have the results of transfer calls! Wooo! Love love
Sister Raines

I am a traveler

This was my last week in Buffalo with Sister Thomas! Most likely. By that I mean that one of us is probably getting transferred and we are in Palmyra this week and next! So we said goodbye to normal missionary life for 2 weeks. Weird! And...actually really scary! When we rolled into Palmyra some of the set up for the Hill Cumorah Pageant was already up and for some reason I was filled with terror! Ridiculous! It just hit me that I would be giving tours (English and Spanish) to thousands of people over the next 2 weeks and I haven't given a tour in 4 months! I just kind of feel like an imposter! In my head I'm sure it'll all be alright, but MAN this is scary! Exciting scary, but scary nonetheless.

Also I haven't heard anything from McKenna or Chelsea or Kevin? Or anyone else? So I'm not actually sure that anyone that I know is coming to pageant ha. All of these people have been coming through from Utah who know Sisters Thomas and Brown. Mormon life on the East Coast is so different! I will forever represent!

This week was preeeetty good. Elaine is not meeting with us anymore, but Akelis is chugging along and we started teaching a new guy named Sal! He is recently separated and beginning to realize that he didn't treat his wife the way she should have been treated. Unfortunately, it seems the damage may be too much for her to overlook at this point, but hopefully he'll be able to be a different person for the future. Who knows? Sister Thomas and I secretly hope she takes him back yada yada wonderland. He's got a good heart underneath it all. He brought his little boy, Evan, to church yesterday and it was great! Some people who haven't been to church in a few years showed up, too and we got to teach them a bit. It's just a nice feeling to watch people return to faith. It happens all the time to varying degrees, whether it be one night deciding to pay more attention when you pray, or dropping harmful addictions and turning your entire perspective around. No matter what, that change is beautiful to watch. I love having front row seats as a missionary.

Speaking of that process, I have realized that I really need to be a more charitable, loving person! I love people for sure, but not as much as I should. It hasn't really finished processing in my head so I have nothing eloquent to say on the matter for now. But maybe soon! Maybe my head is just too full of crazy pageant stuff to think about anything else! Ah! I'm sure there will be more exciting news next week haha.

Sister Lee and me snugged up in the back seat on the way over to PALMYRA!

Sister Wills! This is the lady who has been through so much that I mentioned a few weeks ago. Breast cancer, losing children to a house fire, her husband's death, and now Parkinson's and old age. Always cheerful, always giving. I need to be more like her.

Ok luv 2 u guyz bye
Hermana Raines

Old Man River (July 2nd)

Well friends, not too much this week.

In fact, in the flourescent light it appears that nothing significant has happened this week.

We taught a few more lessons to the same people with the same fears and problems. We walked the same streets in the same clothes. We ran into the same kind of rude, closed people. We had the same kinds of beautiful moments of peace.

Sometimes it can get frustrating to look at what you're doing and not see any progress. This is when I realized that in this life we are asked to work on a letter in a novel! It can be easy for me to lose hope in myself and those around me when I lose perspective, because when we stare at one letter we really have no idea what the storyline even says. In all seriousness, these few years we have on Earth are so little compared to the expanse of eternity! God's been operating the trends of history for much longer than we've been alive, and he'll continue to do. Right now I'm learning to be satisfied with the tiny part that I have been given to play. I just hope one day when all of this is said and done I'll be able to say I did some good in the world.

Since I really don't have anything else to write for the week, I'm sending these lyrics which say it much better than I could:

Are you a jombie? (June 25th)

This week I am emphatically grateful for two things: the law of chastity and the word of wisdom.
To clarify, the law of chastity is direction from latter-day prophets that warns about sexual relationships outside of marriage. Pretty easy. The word of wisdom is essentially a health code. Right now I'm especially grateful that it has kept me from drugs and alcohol.
Kind of a weird way to start an email, I know. Let me explain!

This week for some reason we've had a chance to catch many glimpses of the misery so many people LIVE in. Not pass through- they LIVE there. I don't know of anything that can yank the steering wheel of our own lives out of our hands more effectively than drugs, followed closely by sexual relationships. Pumping gas earlier in the week a lady slinked over completely out of her head begging for any kind of money or pain killers. My heart broke. A lady in the ward we've been working with has been in and out of rehab because of drugs. After years of dealing with it, her husband couldn't take it anymore and divorced her. Her children are tired of being hurt and manipulated by her habits. Now it appears she has no one on Earth. Someone we started teaching this week is going through a recent breakup because she cheated on her boyfriend because she was intoxicated. Her entire frame is wracked with guilt, self-hatred, disrespect and hopelessness. She doesn't even know which way is up. This woman, Alex, came to church yesterday and would randomly catch wind of what she had gotten herself into and slip back into sobbing on Sister Thomas' shoulder while I entertained her two young boys. She's only 28. She's also only one case out of many we've met who gave themselves away too soon and too often and now can't help but feeling forever vulnerable and tarnished.

The second part of these two evils is that once they've sufficiently destroyed what you once knew, whoever effected is left with the impression that they don't deserve anything better- maybe it doesn't even exist! So why try? They're stuck thinking that now that they're dirty, if you will, there's no point in trying to get clean. It's just not who they are. That second phase is the one I hate most of all. I hate that beautiful, wonderful people with worlds of potential can be led to think they've lost it all because of past mistakes. It's just not true.

It's interesting to me that one of the biggest slabs of beef people have against the church is that we have "too many rules." Too many restrictions that keep us from having fun or being ourselves. Maybe other people need to experiment with hell, but I am grateful that I've never had to figure those things out the hard way. People can say whatever they want to about restrictions, but I'm grateful for the rail that has kept me from falling. Sure- it was my choice to follow the guidelines. I'm just grateful I knew they were there.

Other than that...I really don't have much new to report haha. I am learning more to take things as they come, enjoy the ride, and look forward. Every once in awhile something from somewhere in the short past I've gathered catches up to me and it stings. I have to remind myself that the past is over and that I'm facing forward >> It doesn't matter anymore. At least, not if I don't let it. (Insert Rafiki here: "its een dee past!")

Random from this week!
-We started doing P90X every once in a while haha and it kiiiilllls but it's been fun
-I got a letter from the illustrious Alexander Christman! I miss that guy! And I'm so proud that he's on his mission! I'm sure he'll be great. I really am so proud of the progress he's made over the two years I've known him. I have some of the best friends
-The Hill Cumorah Pageant creeps ever closer! I'm terrified and oh-so-excited! I will admit much of my excitement is to see who comes up (at least I know I'll see McKenna, Chelsea and Kevin!) but I'm also just excited to meet so many people from all over the world! I'm terrified because I'll be giving tours to thousands of people and we don't sleep very much for those two weeks but hey it'll be worth it, right?

Ok see yous guys lata! Peace n blessins
Hermana Raines

We'll call you (June 18th)

Hey it was a weird week!

So the smoke of success died down, human nature set back in and brought reality with it. Many of those we found ready and open have resorted to evasion. Some have even gone as far as hiding and lying. I'm still pretty puzzled as to what would cause a grown man or woman to avoid two young "church people." One mom told us she would be out of town with meetings all day and when we went to the neighborhood to check on Onna, her neighbor across the street, we discovered she was busy meeting with a lawn chair and the sunshine. This kind of behavior only frustrates me because I realize we are grossly misunderstood. In NO way am I here to corner or convince people! If you don't want to meet with us that is totally fine! When she saw us she panicked and went inside. Later she came back out and we ended up talking to her, letting her know that it was totally fine if she didn't want to learn more. She's still a great lady! And as missionaries we only invite. Her response was that since she "already has a bunch of rosaries it would just be easier to stay Catholic." Good luck to you, my friend.

Another problem we run into is that EVERY time we introduce the church into someone's life or they start learning more, someone comes out of nowhere spewing false information about the church. It could be anything from claiming we're a cult and worship the devil or that we're not actually Christians or that Joseph Smith wrote the Book of Mormon. People indoctrinating others makes me so mad! It's disrespectful, and most of the time they don't care enough to ask us what we actually believe. The concept that we would claim to believe something that we don't actually believe (aka would lie about it when asked) is so funny to me! It kind of makes us out to be superhuman. As if once your baptized a Mormon you lose your soul or something really terrifying. While being a missionary I've really come to see the part of people that is superstitious and scared stiff. By all means- don't talk to those 20 somethings. They'll ruin your life. Anything you do, just don't be open-minded. When I was younger there was a Baptist church that had a sign outside that said, "Don't pray about the Book of Mormon. That's how they get you." So funny.

On a nicer note, while we were visiting Onna we went to check on a few other people in the area and were stopped by this guy working on a house. He spouted out his address and phone number, saying that he learned about our church a long time ago but then when he got married he stopped looking into it. He (Carlos) wants us to teach his family! He has a twelve year old daughter and a ten year old son. He talked about how he realizes now that his family is lacking religion and is curious to see how being taught by us might help in unity and peace. He was great! We hope to be able to meet with their family this week.

In other news! We had a dinner over at the Castillo family's house with Akelis (remember the lady from Cuba we're teaching?) and it was really fun! Akelis speaks English really well and wants to be a teacher so we normally speak to her in English, but the Castillo family is less comfortable in English so the whole night was in Spanish! I love getting back into the flow where it feels normal and I can pretty much just speak my mind without a problem. It was cool to see Akelis open up a little more, too. Language barriers always seem to cause a bit of a problem, even if you speak another language well. There's something significant about your primary language! Akelis is really great. I'm grateful to know her. Elaine is doing well also, in case anyone was wondering :) She's just so cute. Love Elaine!

I'm sending pictures of the beautiful skirt Austin sent me! Laney Hawes happened to wear a skirt really similar so of course at least one picture had to be taken. Laney is the best. She's also recently been extremely curious about "Sister Raines' missionary and if we will actually get married." She keeps asking Sister Thomas whenever we're far enough apart. Haha! Laney is also convinced that I should cut my hair and just when I think she's forgotten she brings it back up. So tempting! But I don't think I will yet. No worries, everyone.

This week I have also really missed Austin! Ha I guess that makes sense considering it was our 2 year, but I just realized that I'm really glad I get the chance to understand what it feels like to be without him for so long so that when I get a chance to make it work I don't do anything stupid! We talked to one of the older women in our ward yesterday for a while (Father's day, her husband has passed away- not a great day for her.) and she talked about how earlier in their marriage it was really hard! Sometimes they were both really dumb (she told stories haha wow!) but by the time they were older she looked at him as one of the greatest men ever to walk the Earth. Quite the change! She advised us to be patient and selfless in our relationships. Sometimes it just takes a lot of time haha but people turn out okay in the end. I'm grateful for people who help me to avoid future mistakes!

Oh I almost forgot to mention! Last week the whole zone went on this crazy beautiful hike and so I'm sending a few pictures! It was so great. I love days like that.

That's pretty much it for this week! I hope everyone is doing well. Till later!
Hermana Ray