San Fran

One day I hope to live in a small apartment in the heart of San Francisco or New York. I hope I have a gray cat and use the bus or the subway to get to the school where I teach history to fourteen-year-olds five out of seven days of the week. In the evenings I hope to watch documentaries and foreign films while I grade papers and sit by my husband. I hope to have a "usual" for chinese take-out. I hope I don't get caught up in the nonsense of things and that I can still find quiet and peace while appreciating the chaos of many people living vastly different lives in one small place. I don't expect to be famous or universally acclaimed, rather I just hope those who know me describe me as "a good person". It doesn't sound like much, but it seems wonderful to me.

When 10 year olds find photobooth

Most recent music obsession

Rocky Votolato


Also, Easier by Joe Purdy, Spirited by Laura Gibson and Sea of Doubts by Azure Ray. Good stuff.

I'm getting my wise teeth yanked out in the mornin, ya'll. Cheers to tomato soup and netflix for the next few days.

"Love is not a fight, but it's something worth fighting for."

In 24 hours I will be on a plane to North Carolina, a place I haven't been for exactly 6 months. (I left on June 18th.)

Weird.

Love will not betray you
Dismay or enslave you, it will set you free
Be more like the man you were made to be
There is a design, an alignment, a cry
Of my heart to see,
The beauty of love as it was made to be.

Fredrick!

My dear Katie Stice is convinced that studying in a British accent helps her remember things. I think she's crazy. So, naturally, I'm going to try it.

Cheerio.

In honour of this most glorious occasion

This is technically our first picture together.

This was our first dance.

This is our song.

This is my favorite picture of him.

Can I just say that being best friends with who you're dating indispensable? Ours is a basis of respect and faith above all else, and I wouldn't have it any other way. I've never seen it happen first hand like this, and to be honest I never thought I was worth the trouble he goes through. I never thought I would be with someone who treats me so well and makes me so dadgum happy all of the time. That's not to say we don't have our ups and downs, but what I mean is that its been worth it. Every once in a while a thought will float through my mind wondering if I should try a different direction or go elsewhere. The thing is that before I can really even register the idea, I find myself laughing. Its just a comical notion. If I have it my way, I'll never see the day where I belong to someone else.

For those of you who aren't familiar with Austin, he stands between 5'9" and 5'10" depending on how much he's slouching. He's that guy that perpetually has gum, and he only likes a particular flavor of Extra. Austin is a phenomenal photographer, but has an even larger passion for people and a strong desire to be of help to them. His favorite music artist is Andrew Bird, favorite movie is Rear Window. He's from northern Kentucky/ Cincinnati, and Alex Christman has been his best friend since high school. He sticks his tongue out when he's concentrating really hard, has had bad luck with cars, and would typically rather use public transportation. Austin hates smiling normally in pictures, likes opportunities to wear the bow tie I bought him, and is a fan of Justin Bieber. He's pretty lousy at remembering names but considers anyone he's ever had a conversation with to be a friend. He writes obscene amounts of reminders and notifications for everything, looks really good in pullover sweaters, and is more than I ever realistically wished for.

For the record, I'm allowed to be cheesy/ridiculous/mushy on my own blog.

Por fin,

I love you, Austin Dressman! Cheers to the past six months.

"You pull me out of the dark and now it's light."

Also, just found this....

Dear Kelsie Moore,

You have probably forgotten how weird your friends are. Please prepare yourself and SEE YOU SOON!

Too little information

I work at the information desk. At said desk, I have learned that members of the human race are not always wise, neither are they considerate. In fact, it would appear that many of them are just flat out weird.

To demonstrate:

Girl comes up to the desk and looks at me.

Says nothing.

Me: Hi.

Girl: Hi.

Me: Can I help you?

Girl: I need some tickets.

Me: Okay. Which tickets do you need?

Girl: Divine Comedy.

I wait for more information.

Information does not come.

Me: Okay... What day?

Girl: Saturday.

A little more waiting. Maybe she'll actually tell me the rest.

Nope.

Me: ...What time?

Girl: 7:00 p.m.

Again.

Nope.

Me: ...How many?

Girl: Two.

Me: Ten dollars.

To help you understand, would you ever go up to a movie ticket counter and simply say..."I need some tickets"?

And if you did, how do you expect that they would look at you?

And if they then asked "to what", how would they look at you when you simply said, "Harry Potter"?


To all of you prospective ticket buyers, I will sing for you if you spit out "Hey I need two for Divine Comedy at 7 on Saturday." Transaction is made, you are on your way, and I love you to pieces. Cheerio.

Was that really so hard?

facebookear

I WILL learn to dance like this.

My favorite color is cornflower blue.

24 pages

Sometimes when you want to know the truth

 you need to ask a lot of people.

The longer I'm in the midst of Utah culture

the more jaded I get. It's a good thing I'll have a mission to break things up a tad.

Zoe

I'm finishing up my term paper for History of Argentina. Austin's on his computer working on genealogy. Kevin's on the phone with someone in the room to the right, Alex is listening to something with a banjo in the room to the left, but it's not loud enough for me to tell exactly who. A Bundaberg root beer on my immediate left, a stack of books on Argentina between 1800 and 1880 on my immediate right.
I don't mind that my life isn't exciting all of the time. I'm happy.

Oh hey just givin' thanks here

I love my family. And my extended family. And breaks from school. And sweaters. And game nights. And italian soda. And sleeping in. And birthdays. And hot bread. And Pixar. And my roommates. And when Austin plays air guitar on my leg. And new books. And grilled cheese. And fall weddings. And my job. And my life.

Just sayin'. 

There are times when the poets and porn stars align, and you won't know who to believe in. Well, that's a good time to be leavin.

Isn't it time you got over how fragile you are?

Anna Nalick

Tengo veinte años.

And on this day, I have continued breathing for twenty years.

Pretty impressive with all the smog and whatnot, yeah?

From Tennessee

Just to remind you all of what's really important in life.

Also, this

and this

Cute Is What We Aim For

Somehow when I go back and listen to music I used to listen to all the time, I both a) realize what poor taste I had in music and b) really enjoy the nostalgia.

Can you be nostalgic for nonsense?

For Schweikart and Allen

"Realising that our own ways are not humanly inevitable nor God-ordained, but are the fruit of a long and turbulent history, we may well examine in turn all of our institutions, thrown into strong relief against the history of other civilisations, and weighing them in the balance, be not afraid to find them wanting." -Margaret Mead

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Opus 18

My life is brimming with the Cuban Revolution and our country's time in Vietnam. Fried rice in the afternoon and hot chocolate into the evening. I wear a scarf most days these days, and gravitate towards anything black paired with tan suede shoes. I'm a big fan of the snow on them there mountains, and I really wish you wouldn't rake the leaves in your yard. Sometimes I have conversations with my roommate about Rachel Ray, wedding dresses or history professors when I should be working on a paper, and every night I have the privilege of being held by a really stellar guy from Cincinnati. Every morning I miss my family, and every afternoon I question my fondness of the spanish language, mostly due to my proficiency. I like cleaning my room. Sometimes I forget to eat lunch or to put in earrings. Sometimes I would rather read a wedding blog than read for U.S. history. Sometimes I wish I could play piano for days on end and speak Italian. Sometimes I still want to run into someone who doesn't know what a Mormon is. I'm pretty much always at ease.

And then one day

I still love the internet

Dear The Baha Men,

We let the dogs out. I'm surprised you didn't hear.

Sincerely, PETA

Someone explain this to me.

In love

I'm pretty cliche these days, so it seems.

Every time I do research between the bookshelves I always resolve to spend less time online. There is so much on these shelves that I don't know.

Welp. See you around.

Just so you know

-I like sitting on the floor. Especially in the library. Don't you judge me.
-Recently I've decided that I'm fond of the albino quality of my skin.
-Grilled cheese and tomato soup. Every. Sunday.
-Two of my roommates are moving out soon and I never ok'd that.
-My birthday is this month. I'm turning 20.
-I get cold really easily.
-I also hate coats.
-Similarly, flowers are one of my favorite things.
-Sadly, I'm more afraid of bees than most things.
-Some days I forget why I'm a history major.
-And then I remember.
-Secretly I'm hoping that Greg Laswell will call me to ask if I can sing in his show this week.
-I currently have my hair in braided pigtails.
-I'm debating whether to copy my roommate and buy these:

-My right foot is asleep.

Whatever comes, we shall endure

I love the internet

D&C 50

I should have known that itunes was the wrong place to look, you know?

Step 1 (v.5): Blessed are they who are faithful and endure, whether in life or in death, for they shall inherit eternal life.
Step 2 (v.6): But wo unto them that are deceivers and hypocrites, for, thus saith the Lord, I will bring them to judgement.
Step 3 (v.10): And now come...and let us reason together, that ye may understand.
Step 4 (v.40-42): Behold, ye are little children and ye cannot bear all things now; ye must grow in grace and in the knowledge of the truth. Fear not, little children, for you are mine, and I have overcome the world, and you are of them that my Father hath given me, and none of them that my Father hath given me shall be lost.

Try to get some rest.

I keep searching through my itunes, trying to find some kind of explanation.

Some sort of reason. Some sort of logic.

Too many shadows, too many sails.

Nobody move, nobody move.

I'm really bad at playing spoons.

Oh, hey guys.

Has anyone ever considered how strange the word "pajamas" is? If I was learning English as a second language I would never stop laughing once I learned that that's the word we use to refer to the clothes we sleep in.

Seriously, English language creators. Bad move.

No.

No.

YES.

"To think is to forget a difference, to generalize, to abstract. In the overly replete world of Funes there were nothing but details, almost contiguous details." -Jorge Luis Borges


I'm really looking forward to seeing this tomorrow:

I want to be a teacher so bad. One of these days it'll happen.

Midterms?

I love the feeling of being almost done with a rough week. For a minute there I started to doubt myself. Silly.

In other news, me and this guy

are doin so well. So so well.

Love.

Try to say goodbye and I choke

One of these days he's not going to be here for two years. That's really gonna hurt, you know?

BIEBER FEVER

LADIES AND GENTS THE BIEBER LETTER IS HERE.

I finally scanned it.

 

Click on the thumbnails to see it in all it's glory. 

In case you have trouble with the images loading or you can't read the handwriting, this marvelous piece of thing was written by one of my younger brothers, Sean Raines. He was 9 years old at the time, handed the letter to me in an envelope solely marked "Justin Bieber", asked me to send it to him, and walked away.

The world thanks you, Sho-Seanny.

It reads (as best as I can transcribe):
"Dear, Justen,

My sister is a big fan of your songs, I like them too, my favorite is "Baby" of corse I'm like the Ultamint fan of *pop* songs. I spell bad.

Get reddy here is alote of quistions, how old are you? What other talants do you have? Hi I'm Sean, do you like ice cream? I like the color green, I'm good at drawing.
Sinceraly, Sean Raines

Also

I can hit some high notes, by the way my brother haits you. I'm 9 years old.

Your teeth are shiney!
My sister is avalible for dating, she's pritty. She is Natalie Dayle Raines.
Can you give me singing lessons?

Now I'm done
_____________________
The guy who wrote you 
Sean"

As much as I love you, U.S. history, you're wreckin' my vibe. I hope you feel bad.

ALSO:

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

"They live for the immediate reality, for the present, and thereby subordinate all of their activity to the egoism of personal and collective well-being." -José Enrique Rodó

The swing hasn't had it

I'm thinking too much about things much too big for me to understand. It turns out that vast ambiguity has the capability to hush any will to move around. All I really want to do is watch the snow fall and it's only 53 degrees. I guess the rain will do for now.

"What we have here is a dreamer. Someone completely out of touch with reality." -Virgin Suicides

There's always something

A little bit of complaining is a good thing sometimes, you know? Grievances are what bring problems to the table so something can be done about them. At the same time, too much whining just makes us pessimists. I'm just not sure where the line is yet.

sometimes I just want to dress up.

Por fin!

Seven Minutes of Mexico from Natalie Raines on Vimeo.

Welp here it is! After forever. Ta da!

It is quite possible that I have fallen in love with this song.
Engagement pictures and a ring to follow shortly.

Things will get calmer- follow me.

North by North - Faded Paper Figures

Guy and a guitar

There is currently a man with a guitar in the terrace. I would tell you that he is playing it, but then I would be lying. No, my friend, in reality he is strumming the guitar without chords. He has been doing so for 20 minutes, and I'm really not sure what this world is coming to.

HEY PLE- JUST PLEASE STOP aw come on man please?

Little Fragile Moon

I think one of the biggest conundrums we face while learning to be human is to live with the reality that we will never be able to know everything, and then to continue trying to learn everything we possibly can.

| | | | | | |

I'm in the middle of one of my spastic need-to-finish-composing ruts,
without open access to a piano.

I'mstartingtoactlikeadiabeticsomebodypleasehelpme

Drumroll please....

I got my answer!

I'm going on a mission!

Next December, anyways. Ideally I'll leave in the middle of December so I could get back in the middle of June and start right into Summer term, but whatever happens will be perfect, I'm sure. I've been trying to figure out whether it was what I needed to do for a little while now, and everything kind of came together this morning.

Cheers!

I love these trees

Incredible things are happening in the world.

Magical things are happening in this world.

People in my life make me wonder how I got lucky enough to know them. And now that I know them, how did I get lucky enough for them to love me?

September girls

I haven't quite decided if September or October is my favorite month of the year. In any event, I'm anticipating the fall and the winter, believe it or not! It used to be that I dreaded winter because, to be honest, it's plain ugly in the South. There is never any snow, but the humidity allows the chill to bite and everything turns gray forever.

In Utah...

I wake up to this every morning.

It helps that the dryness takes the sting out of the cold.
Also, most of my attractive clothes are long sleeved. Here we go!

Today's just been a downer of a day, you know?

COME ON

This little heart of mine

There are so many moments when I am overcome with how GOOD life can be. Just sitting in class laughing at a joke a professor slides in is enough to make my heart want to burst sometimes. All at once I get so anxious and content all at the same time. I am so ridiculously happy in that moment but at the same time I want to drink everything in that is on it's way all at once: Christmas, lunch with a friend, a day off, inspiring lectures, a good movie, finding a new music obsession, a mission, my wedding day, growing old and sitting on a porch somewhere, the next meaningful kiss, being a teacher, traveling, getting a pet, babysitting, quiet moments while the snow falls, basking in the sun when summer comes back. I just feel like there is so much to offer along every step of the road. I want it all, but at the same time I want every second to slow down to let me enjoy it while it's here.

I've never longed to go back to any moment in the past. I truly haven't. I guess I've never seen the sense in back-tracking when what's ahead promises to be so beautiful. Even when everything seemed dark, I never wanted to go back because it meant the dark times would only be ahead of me again. Once the dark times are over, they're really over and it's on to the next beautiful moment.

Do yourself a favor for me: Go listen to Carla Bruni. Drink a super huge glass of chocolate milk. Look at some pictures from elementary school. Hold hands with someone. Wear red lipstick or spike your hair up as weird as possible and then set up Skype and talk to someone you haven't seen in awhile.
Let me know how it goes.

Teaching is so much more than just talking about stuff, and history is so much more than the study of dead guys.

One day I'll prove it.

EHY

I'm a fan of this article.
The comments at the bottom are somewhat comical as well. 


One person said, "…. they are so intelligent and bright yet all think we Americans should go to this “great” form of socialist communist system? How can these great thinkers fail to see that it’s always failed, everytime it’s tried, communism socialism has never worked. Why? Why do they fail to see that?"
My question is....define "fail". It's interesting to me that everyone is convinced that our system of government is a success, when truly there's no such thing. Governments have to continually change and adapt in order to CONTINUE succeeding, and even then no system has ever sustained itself indefinitely. Just because our fall hasn't come yet doesn't mean it won't happen. Sorry loves, but that's the way the cookie crumbles. And that doesn't mean that the world will end! One system disintegrates and another is formed. It's happened over and over again through history. 


Or were you sleeping through that class in high school?

You're welcome.

Let me come home

I love this place.

Tu ne sais pas ce que l'on dit de toi. Tu t'en fous surtout.

After years of being stolen and broken on a consistent basis, sometimes a heart forgets how to stay together. Kind of like people who can’t stay in a place for too long, or people who can’t leave one. We’re all so scared that things might change because even if we have trouble handling what we’re going through, at least we’re handling it.

I like being a history major.

Here's to a positive post

A kitten followed me home last night and I did NOT keep it.
However, I regret that last part. Kitty!

Also, I dyed my hair dark again.

I am no fan of premeditated sentimental discussions. There's a certain fatality of feeling that accompanies that kind of a scheduled confessional. One good, solid observation can be killed stone-dead in half a second by the decision to meet and discuss at a given time. Thoughts are free-flowing, personal and random. Any legitimate philosophical or sentimental exchange could never be forced or directed at a prearranged time.

My hero

So I know this girl named Rebecca. I met her about a year ago working at the Inormation Desk at school. She is undoubtedly the most amazing person I have ever known. This is why she is incredible:
1. She can eat 2 Cafe Rio burritos in 1 sitting
2. She is the tallest girl I know
3. She is a vegetarian
4. She is allergic to the sun
5. She was homeschooled for a few years- somehow she managed not to turn into a total antisocial nerd
6. She is studying Public Health and gets to take awesome classes like Infectious Diseases
7. She is super sneaky
8. She tells the funniest jokes- like me two favorite: How do you make Lady Gaga cry? Poke her face. haha and, What does an dislexic, agnostic, insomniac do? He sits up all night and wonders if there's a dog.
9. White boys don't like her. Anyone want to guess why? Because I don't know- and neither does she.
10. She works for Guest Services, so of course she's cool
11. She has a scooter named Bianca
12. Her birthday is on 7/11- which means the she (and everyone else) can get free slurpees on her birthday
13. She is scuba certified. And she almost got eaten by a baracuda once while she was scuba diving
14. She is a Building Coordinator in the Wilk- so she knows all the cool "hidden" places
15. She once got thrown out of a car window while it was rolling over- and she survived
16. She started college when she was 17. Everyone thought she was a freak. But it's cool
17. She grew up in Park City- what isn't awesome about that?
18. Her last name is Zirkle. Say it. Zirkle. Cool, no?
Anyway, the list could go on and on and on forever, but I'll leave it at that. If you ever have the immense pleasure of meeting her, make sure you become good friends with her. She will change your life like she changed mine.

Vexation & Envy

I am fed up with excuses for unhappiness.

I am tired of hearing that life is only wonderful during youth. That families and mortgages are perpetual black rain clouds. Enjoy life now because it's all downhill after graduation. I refuse to believe that circumstance or age are in control of contentment. I understand that relationships can be stressful, and that carrying for children is a task. However, it makes me sick to hear children and spouses being spoken of as nothing more than baggage and a burden. Claiming that happiness was only abundant during the young, single stretch of life is an allegation that life was better before those loved ones were a part of it. If that's the way things are, the personal choice to get married and start a family merits no pity. Life is about making choices and moving with them. If you made some wrong ones, work on making the best of them and stop blaming your displeasure on a stage in life.

And when it ends

Well, my journey back to Provo begins in the morning before the sun rises. My study abroad in Mexico is at an end.

You may be expecting me to return home thoroughly bronzed with an extensive Spanish vocabulary, complete with accent. Unfortunately, I am only slightly bronzed with a functional vocabulary and a glaringly obvious American accent. I hope no one is too disappointed.

Most of my overarching thoughts have been put up here periodically as they came to me, more or less. However, as anything ends, we're expected to look back and wrap things up. Illustrate a moral to the story, if you will. SO rather than repeat what I've said before, let's run through what this trip has given me, shall we?

A stamp in my passport.
The oh-so-impressive "Study Abroad to Mexico" on my credentials, therefore increasing my merit as a human being.
An 'A' in Spanish 205.
A few friends on facebook who only speak Spanish.
A distinct tan line.
Three jars of salsa and one bottle of cajeta.
Fifteen more close friends.
An appreciation for tap water.
Material for the Mexico video (in progress).
Close to 1,000 pictures.
A Mexican soccer jersey (remember the World Cup? Yeaahh).
Two CDs of Latin music.
A handful of Mexican sayings.
More appreciation for being with Austin again.
New regard for my pale skin.
Gratitude for being a native English speaker.
A greater understanding of humanity as a whole.
Intense cravings for Chinese food.
An addiction to nightly thunderstorms.
Thrashed feet and a battered pair of chacos.
An obsession with weddings.
A love for Spanish cathedrals.
New ideas for food back home.
One sick 90's playlist.
The experience of trying and falling in love with filled churros.
A legit ISP bag.
A bee sting.
Drive to continue learning Spanish.
A desire to live in the city.
A need to travel more in the future.

I'd say the trip was a success. Yeah?

What would you say to me?

I've always thought that spoken language meant so much. And it does, but really it doesn't. Despite any deficiency in articulate description, deep feelings exist. In the end, the most important moments are the ones that render us speechless.

Visionary

Who's the idiot who invented electricity and therefore created the option of waking up at 4 a.m.? My dear Crystal pointed out today that if we didn't have electricity we would just all go to sleep when the sun went down and wake up when the sun was up again. Why do we torture ourselves so?



*Note: I know who invented electricity. Don't you dare leave some smart comment about how beneficial electricity has been to mankind.

Officially Unofficial Diagnosis

I think I may have figured out what my problem is.

After spending two months in a home with an incredibly loving, caring family and four solid days with Austin, I have come here. Guadalajara, Jalisco, Mexico. I haven't had a legitimate hug in almost two months, and to be honest I'm going through withdrawals. I realize that not everyone's family gives hugs like mine. Not many people have little brothers that like to sneak in to share your twin bed. I am yet to see anyone with a mother who embraces people as if they were teddy bears. Many people aren't fortunate enough to spend so many consecutive hours attached at the hip to their love. Maybe the people in my little group from BYU aren't cold and unfeeling. Maybe they're just not used to being close to people. In any circumstance, I can't do it much longer. I may never let the poor fool go who first allows me to hug them when I get back to the states. I never signed up for this.

I am a fan of this.

I am also slightly obsessed with weddings as of the last two months.

I blame Cheyenne.

I have long been obsessed with flowers.

12

I've reached it.

I'm ready to go back home. Please.

Don't call my name

-I have exactly 2 weeks left in Mexico
-My camera charger and I have been reunited!
-My face is slightly sunburned and I couldn't be more pleased
-This laptop is burning my legs and I am not pleased
-This week for class we have a paper, presentation and test. Here goes nothin'.
-I just can't be with you like this anymore, Alejandro.
-Work on the Mexico video has commenced
-I might run into problems fitting everything in my suitcase when returning home. Perhaps.
-Sometimes life is really beautiful whether you make an effort to notice or not

Sometimes I can't think straight. Sometimes those are the times when I think too much.

Dontcha hate that?

Please?

Words mean what?

I appreciate that the spanish language demonstrates the difference between "I love you" and "I love you". For example, distinguishing between Bella's love for Jacob and Bella's love for Edward.

Yeah. That just happened.

Te quiero.
Te amo.
Love.

York. Oxford. Ibiza is home.

Painting over graffiti is a band-aid on the city. There is poverty, there is pain, there are problems. This is life. Let go of your perfect white wall.

Each day is a facade, masquerading in pride, pretending to fear nothing. But I see it, like hiding an oak tree under an old baby blanket.

Grass

I miss church in English. I miss Amanda Kathleen and McKenna Maye. I miss pizza. I miss my job in Provo and the people I work with. I miss crossing the street without a legitimate fear of getting run over. I miss feeling average in height. I miss unplanned philosophical conversations with my dad. I miss feeling like I know what I'm doing. I miss the international cinema. I miss my best friend of a brother and my mom playing with my hair while we watch another badly written episode of CSI Miami. I miss lightning bugs and 10 minute showers. I miss drinking tap water, washing machines, and falling asleep next to my Austin. 


However:


I know when I'm back in the U.S.A. I'll miss the Mexico sky. I'll miss clay roofing and tile floors. I'll miss Maggie and the bread she bakes. I'll miss brightly painted houses with their infections of graffiti. I'll miss the long walks to class in the morning and the friendly guard at the gate. I'm going to miss speaking Spanglish and being understood. Real orange fanta and helado. Weekend excursions with my family of 16 college kids and one very small Colombian mom. People who call me Natalia instead of Natalie. Tiny latin kids with big brown eyes. Street vendors and air that smells of fruit and spices and sweat.


I miss my home. But I'll be ok for a little while longer.

Sometimes it works

8:49 a.m.
There's a fear here not seen in the United States. It's in the eyes of the niña who asked to trade a peso for a sticker. In the face of the store owner at seeing an American walk through the open door. In the actions of a seemingly careless bus driver weaving in and out of heavy traffic. He hides behind Mary and a pair of plush dice beneath a black light just before 10 when his shift will finally end. Even our well off Mexican mother speaks to us of our plans for the weekend with a subtle terror in her features. I would tend to assume this is related to religion, but these people believe with everything in them. Yet in their faith, they shake. I wonder what it is they fear for. Perhaps the fact that I have to ask is a testament to how American I really am.

10:22 a.m.
I like the jagged movements eyes make when staring out the car window.

11:41 a.m.
Dear Jorge Lopez,
Your successful family's business ad picture looms above a broken down barrio, and within that same panorama sits a small boy begging for pesos. Were you aware?

12:48 p.m.
I have a strange kind of kinship with my feet. I'm looking down at them and have the impulse to apologize for everything I've put them through. Right now they are covered in scars, scabs and tan lines. They don't complain much.

12:52 p.m.
We are all just kids on an inflated field trip. What do we know?

1:42 p.m.
A 6 hour bus ride later, I am relunctant to part from my headphones and window seat. I am such a loner sometimes.

Bare Bones Magazine

This.
As Alex said, the people working to put together Bare Bones magazine are "a collection of people who desperately want to bring you into our world and make our world your world and your world our world."  Ranging from phenomenal photography to extraordinary writing, it's lookin good, folks.

Kelsie Moore

One of my favorite entries so far:

A guy was digging a hole by the side of the road as I walked home. There was a mound of dirt about 3-feet high next to him and he was waist deep in the ground, busting a shovel against the dirt to loosen it up.

“What are you doing?” I asked.

“I’m digging a hole man,” he responded. He took a minute to wipe the sweat off of his brow.

“The air smells like ginger huh?” I asked. It was oven-like outside. Warm and sweet.

“Que?” he asked. He peered down into the hole.

“Why are you digging a hole?”

“To put in a sprinkler.”

“Why are you putting in a sprinkler? This is a desert. It’s supposed to be dry.”

He suddenly looked up at me and stared hard. We stood a few feet apart; him deep in the ground, me on the dusty sidewalk.

“Why do I care if it’s a desert? I get paid to make it not,” he said. And turning back to his shovel, “I get paid to help people lie to themselves!”
Alex Christman looks up the definition of 'metaphor' every single day of his life.


Ahem. This is the part when you go to their blog and see more, subsequently sending something genius you've been hiding from society all of this time.

You'll see.

One day when I am a cute pregnant lady,

I will wear long sundresses every day.

When I go to the store I will don my very large, floppy hat.

The thing about love is, I never saw it coming.

You kind of crept up and took me by surprise.

I think we've had it wrong this whole time. I'm not sure that love is really supposed to be so hard. I think we're so used to having to work at things that fall apart, that when something works out on it's own we dismiss it. All I know is I'm not going to ignore what's been given to me this time. Instead, all I'm saying is, "thank you."

I ask that you don't write me off as naive. I've been through my share of heartbreak, and I've given so much effort into relationships before that I found myself at my breaking point. I know that life is work, that relationships are work, that love is work. I've just figured out that I don't want it to be the death of me. It turns out that I'm allowed to be happy. In fact, it turns out, that's the objective. I guess I took "Anything worth having is worth working for" a little to hard. I saw love only as a service: being there for someone else to earn bonus points on the other side. I was tired of being tired at the end of every day with nothing to show for it. I was tired of no growth and no reward.

Now I realize I like the feeling of mutual effort. Instead of sweat and tears I like saying, "If love is a labor, I'll slave 'till the end." I like knowing that after a disagreement we get closer, not further apart. I like learning how another person works and thinks and feels instead falling deeper into misunderstanding and frustration. I like finally belonging to someone who treats me right.

So this is love.

Alright, guys.

That's enough.

www.mormonbuckles.com

What?

The road was callin

and I's on my way.

Midnight dreamer

Ride a horse, try strawberry milk, walk home in the rain, ride the city bus, go swimming, ace a spanish test, volunteer, laugh too much, go to a zoo, live a little more. Hey, Mexico.

I will listen to Laura Marling till I die.

Today, I miss this:

Condition of desperation

I've come to the conclusion that no one ever has a solid understanding of who they are because once you figure it out, it's already changed. What is that even supposed to mean, anyways? Don't act like you know. You're just looking for an excuse to illuminate your distressed soul when really all you need is more to do. You're gonna be just fine, honey child. Go on, now.

Jump and MOVE and stop. Here we go!

This is what happens to Anita when she's in one room for too long:

Natalie: Do you know what this is called?

Anita: Obsessive compulsive disorder? I am fully aware. Just unmedicated.

El hogar es donde yo estoy contigo

I've come to the conclusion that there are only three material possessions I need in this life to be happy.

This phone,

This car,

And a beagle.

6060842

Things I've learned thus far:

1. If I get fewer than 3 whistles/catcalls/honks/kissing noises a day, I should be ashamed of myself and reevaluate my appearance.

2. Guadalajara is safer than downtown Winston Salem.

3. I am white. No- really. I'm not sure the sun has been informed of my relocation.

4. Bus drivers have delusions of being nascar drivers.

5. I'm not as picky of an eater as I presumed myself to be, although I may never like onions.

6. "Estoy buena" does NOT mean "I'm good". It means something along the lines of "I'm hot", and that's awkward.

7. Houses in the U.S. are boring and too big.

8. Air conditioning is my friend.

9. "Pedestrian right-of-way" is a joke.

10. Salsa can be put on everything.

Mexico: Day 1

Estoy aquí!

I was so nervous about getting here and finding the group and everything, but everything has worked out splendidly. I am so happy to be with Crystal and Anita! They're the best. We relapse into English every once in a while...but that's ok, right? The next two months are going to be so different than anything I've ever experienced, but I know I'm in good hands.

The food so far has been unbelievably good! To be honest I don't really know what most of it is, but that's just a detail. We start classes on Monday, and today the group went into town and looked through some museums and whatnot. Tonight the girls and I are planning on walking around some more.

Ready to be jealous? This, my friends, was the view from my room this morning. Or at least a pathetic attempt at a picture of what greeted me at the window.