Thursday, January 26, 2012

Pavo pavo

Two big things on my mind this week:
1. Healer's art
2. Reward

First. Healer's art. The hymn "Lord I would follow Thee" is so good. Part of the 3rd verse says (I think), "I would be my brother's keeper, I would learn the healer's art." Suddenly I started thinking of all the people I will meet in my life. It was even a little strange- I almost felt like I could see a few of them- people I've never met. I've realized recently how much power each of us have, especially in the lives of people who are close to us. Every single day we have probably hundreds of opportunities to either make someone's day a little brighter or make them feel that much worse. It's not necessarily that our dispositions are determined by circumstance or how people treat us (that's no good) but I don't think anyone can deny how much  better your day is when an old friend catches up with you or maybe a sibling does or says something particularly nice. Getting letters, saying hi to people...all of the little things have that much influence to help someone feel important and loved. What if everyone was a little more conscious of the power they had? If you realized that you could help a family member feel happier today, would you do it? If you were aware that being rude or sharp to them would make them feel small and hurt, would you still do it? So many times I have done something thinking only of myself when it wouldn't have taken much at all to ask my companion how she was or to listen to someone when you know they are upset about something. It seriously takes so little. Why can't I be good more often? New resolve.

Second. In the scriptures, in church, just talking about God in general...we mention blessings all the time. We talk about how if you pay tithing He pours out so many blessings that we won't have room to receive them. The word of wisdom gives us healthy bodies and clearer minds. Not killing people and not committing adultery are obvious in their blessings. 

However!

Just think for a second- do you go to church on Sunday or read the scriptures or pray or keep yourself from stealing or any of the other things God has asked of us because you have been promised blessings? Or do you follow Him because He asked you to and you love Him? In teaching people on the mission sometimes it's hard to explain why we don't drink coffee or alcohol or we pay 10% of our income. I've come to think of it this way: If God asked you to stop eating apples, would you eat them anyways? Would you think about it and say, "Well there's nothing wrong with apples. Doctors say they are good for me. It's ok if I have an apple sometimes"? Obviously not. I know sometimes it's hard to just go on faith that the things we're commanded to do are from God. You know what the best part about that is? You can ask Him! In fact, you're supposed to! Never in a lesson do we ask whoever we're teaching to just believe us. I'm 21. What do I know? We always ask them to think about it, and pray to know for themselves.
So back to the point- if we only do what we know we should be doing because we will get rewards from God, (and we always do! He has blessed me more than I deserve) what would happen if He stopped giving us things? Would we have the right to stop obeying His laws? To stop being good people? I hope you don't have to think about that for too long. The Savior has atoned for me and provided a way to return to live with my Heavenly Father. If I never received another blasted thing for as long as I live- if I lost everything and everyone that I love- I would STILL be in debt over my head. I follow what I have been asked to do because I love my Savior. It's really as simple as that.


Ok! Now that you've been to church for the 2nd time this week, onto the random stuff. My district leaves on Monday! I will be a lone wolf for a tad and then I'll be with a new, all visitor's center sisters, district. With a new companion! Ah! For anyone who wants to send something but isn't sure if it will get  to the MTC by February 6th (better safe than sorry on this one) my NY address until further notice will be:
Hermana Natalie Raines
New York Rochester Mission
100 Perinton Hills Office Park Ste 120
Fairport, NY
14450-3608

(Kenna would you mind updating facebook and my blog? Thank youu)

My district and I have been in this place for so long that we've started inventing Spanish words. Fefarse is a verb meaning "to endure to the end." Ex: Estoy fefandome or Ella se fefa
We are good. I know.

Also, "pavo" means silly in Spanish. "Pavo" also means turkey. So...naturally we've started calling people "pavo pavo." What would YOU do if you found that out? Obviously the same. No question.

Ok I'm out for the week. Someone tell Amanda Jones to put the pen to the paper. LOVE YOU ALL BYE
Hermana Ray

Thursday, January 19, 2012

La cosa no quiere ayudarnos

Good week! Twas a good week. Where to start?

First of all, I have a new scripture to add to my list of favorites. It is 2 Timothy 1:7 and it says "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
SO. GOOD.

Also, Acts 5:38-39 says "And now I say until you, refrain from these men, and let them alone: for if this counsel or this work be of men, it will come to nought: but if it be of God, ye cannot overthrow it; lest haply ye be found even to fight against God." 
Whenever someone here finds out that I'm going to the Hill Cumorah Visitor's Center, they feel the need to tell me two things. 1) It will be cold. (YES AWARE OF THIS THANKYOUBYE) 2) There are a lot of anti-Mormon protestors up there. Ah, yes. Less than excited about that. But between the two above scriptures, I'm really not worried. I know with all of my heart that I'm doing a good work. My intent is to uplift and help whoever I meet, regardless of background or belief. Throughout history there have been those who have been upset at people who witness of Christ. I'm not sure why...anyone who knows me knows I am anything but a threat. Ha. I think when I get home I'll stand in front of homeless shelters and health clinics to protest. Woo!
(Ahem. Kidding. Just for posterity's sake.)
But really. You know what every missionary is required to memorize and state as our purpose? Our purpose is to "bring others unto Christ." This week at a workshop we had a lesson/discussion (mostly targeted at a few zealots from Utah) talking about the different times in our lives we've been buoyed up by those of other faiths- inspired by their enthusiasm and faith. In my life I have been supported and taught more than I deserve by those who believe different things than I do. I'm just spending the next year and a half of my life trying to pay those people back and add light to light. I've been so blessed. Why is it that everyone can't be as blessed as I have been? I have friends currently serving and teaching of Christ in Madagascar, England, Denmark, Sweden, Chile, Peru, Argentina, Mexico, the Dominican Republic, Puerto Rico, the Netherlands, and Russia, not to mention half of the states. I believe that God works through mankind. If you don't share that belief, I invite you to consider all of the beautiful people who surround you and have surrounded you in the past. Don't forget about them.

Yesterday our district had the opportunity to be host missionaries! Which means we get to essentially babysit a neuvo as they enter the MTC, get their books and residence and all that. It was great! I was assigned to Siera Christensen from some place in Cananada......I am really horrible and don't remember where. Ah! Anyways she is really great and I'm glad to have had the chance to know her. No fears, just ready to roll. Can't say the same thing for some of the new Elders I saw walking around...for some of them this is their first time leaving home for real, they don't really know why they're here or how they can get by without their mother's laundry and cooking, and most of all many people who enter the MTC haven't figured out if they have faith or not. Being a witness of Christ would be pretty terrifying if you weren't sure about Him. Hopefully they figure it out. However, there are many who go home every week before ever entering the field. This work calls for conviction. 

Mostly what I want to share from this week are quotes ha. I kept running into people or listening to people who had something to share! Have you ever thought about the fact that it is unlikely that you will ever meet anyone in this world who does not know something you could benefit and learn from? Experiences? Character traits? Dreams? Thoughts? EVERYONE has something to offer. Insane. Try not getting overwhelmed by THAT thought as you walk down a busy street downtown! So much to learn!
-"If you focus on yourself, you will only feel happy when you are satisfied. When you love everyone else, your joy will be constant." -Elder David A. Bednar
-"We're in big trouble, and there's only one way out."
-"Just do good and be good!"
-"Righteous desires cannot be superficial, temporary, or selfish."
-"A disciple of Christ lives in the frontier of faith."

And to end, a poem:
"'Come to the edge,' He said.
'No!' we said, 'we'll fall!'
'Come to the edge,' He said.
'No!' we said, 'we'll fall!'
'Come to the edge!' He said.
We came to the edge.
He pushed us.
We flew."


Is it not time God sent His armies to revive a dying world?

I hope everyone that finds this finds themselves doing well. Only a bit longer in the MTC, now!
-Hermana Ray

P90X

Wokay! Not much time! Ah!

This week has been busy and good. Really random things made it good, methinks. For instance every Tuesday we get up at 5:50 and go do service, and this week the 4 Hermanas in my room were assigned to do floors! So! We got someone to mop and then took turns strapping cloth to our shoes and skating around, making up weird songs. So. Good. Just so you all know, I am building a sick set of abs because I laugh too much. Ahh yes.

Starting this week I've decided to make it a goal to memorize 50 Spanish vocab words a week. This means, dear friends, that I will have around 3500 extra ones memorized by the time I get home. WHATS UP.

We got a new teacher because Hermana Murillo's 3 years of working at the MTC are up and they only let you have 3 :( I was devestated. Our new teacher served her mission in Panama and her name is Hermana Graham. She's really nice...but doesn't seem to think we're as funny as we think we are. Lame. She also has really good consonants in her accent but then her vowels are flat. It's strange...and highly entertaining to listen to for all the wrong reasons.

I have an announcement! I have written another song while at the MTC. I was sitting studying one morning and then it popped in my head so I went to a piano really fast, jotted it down, and here it is. I'm stoked to record it when I get home after a while. It'll be rill nice. Keenan suggested I name it "Let's start again, shall we?" and I rather like it.

And I may tell all my bones
To stand aside; Awake my soul!
Await the day and shed the pain
The past can be so cold
An unforgiving pace of time
It's about time I changed my mind
Lay to waste the days of grey
Before we grow too old

Be not far from me
Be not thou far from me

And every day we're waging war
Do you know what you're fighting for?
For truth, for hope, for strength to cope
To make it one more day
In this, you're not the only one
We fight until the night is done
Though scars and tears may paint the years
There is no other way

Be not far from me
Be not thou far from me

Perfect love casteth out all fear
I am not afraid


I got a letter from Emily DeKam yesterday saying that my album helped her through finals week and it absolutely made my life. SO HAPPY to hear things like that! I hope that at least while I'm gone the songs I've written will make their way to people who need them. One of these days I'll pick it back up and record some more. I love that feeling.

Ok so you're probably wondering what my theme-ish has been this week or at least what has been concocting in this brain o' mine. Basically, I've been thinking about how downright cool it is that everything in the gospel has ties to the natural world. Faith is like a seed, etc. This week I was wondering why it is so many people know of Christ and know they should have faith to "pick up their cross" and become more of who He would want them to be...and yet just don't do it. Why are so many people afraid of doing what's right? Well, it's the same reason we're afraid of exercise programs and diets. We know very well that they will make us healthier. We know with full hearts what it is we need to do- lose weight, eat healthier, build stronger muscles, etc. But it's not easy! It's actually really hard! Having faith and becoming a better person every day is hard too, you know? It takes effort and it takes swallowing a lot of pride. Fiona Apple has a line in one of her songs that says, "I could swallow the sea to wash down all this pride." Sounds about right to me.
Every year we make News Years Resolutions and every year there are people (I would venture to say the majority of us) who just let those resolutions drop. When are we going to take care of ourselves for real? Spend less money? Eat healthier? Run every day? Pray and read scriptures every day? If you are reading this and think you could honestly tell me that you don't feel the need to do any of those things I would be interested to hear it. We all do. So...what are we doing?

I hope this week is wonderful for everyone! I'll write again in a week (or sooner if you wrote me a letter cause I'll be writing responses today!)
Love,
Hermana Ray

Thursday, January 5, 2012

RUDOLPH SAYS HI!

Oh hi!
First news: My companion and I have been sick for the past week, so she broke down and decided to try the orange juice. (NEVER FEAR- I stayed true to the advice given to me by every person ever, including Nathan about 182739 times and I haven't tried it.) I just want to let you know that it left this sick kind of stuff on the glass and we just sat staring at it after she was done. Thank you to all who saved me from internalizing such an abomination. Truly.

So Sunday! We had a fireside and the most wonderful couple came to speak to us! I loved it. Probably more than any other speaker we've had minus Elder Bednar. They were so happy! I just couldn't get over it! Everyone who knows me knows that the disgusting, overbearing and fake happy drives me up a wall and half the ceiling but they were genuinely happy. They weren't that loud or told that many jokes or something like that, you could just tell. It radiated off their faces and infected the audience- I swear! It was beautiful. Sister Mills talked about gratitude and how important it is, and Brother Mills (who is in charge of all the foreign MTCs- Preston, England included!) spoke about all of those and showed pictures of each of them. I thought I'd have a heart attack when he got to the MTC in Preston haha but no, Austin wasn't in any of the pictures. I know- sad day. Anyways more than anything they said that struck me, I am now determined to be more like them. In high school (or at least the last two years of it) I was friends with everyone and each day was full of love and laughter. Since that time I've hardened a lot. I became skeptical of people around me, critical, judgemental, always comparing. It's so pointless! Will there always be people who mean to do harm? Well, yes. But is there any point in suspecting it? No, not really. It's not that I want to digress in how much I've grown since high school because I've learned and have become a stronger person in the end, but I know that today if superlatives existed I would never be thought of as "most friendly" as I was then. No worries everyone, I have no intentions of being obnoxious. I'm just done comparing myself to everyone and being bitter. There is so much to be happy about, and I'd like to radiate that. Isn't that what this religion is about anyways? I'm spending the next year and a half telling everyone I can about what has made me happy and full of love in my life! Happiness and peace- the very opposite of contention, judgement, hatred and fear. THAT is what this church, this faith and the knowledge of Heavenly Father are about and why I'm here!

Also this week my district started trying to talk all in Spanish. Way fun! I love it. However, whenever I switch back to English I already notice myself phrasing things funny. The few in the district who aren't quite conversational in Spanish yet have been stocking up on headache medicine, but I know with so much to learn this is really good for us. 

Something Elder Ballif in my district found this week and put on the board that feels like such an answer to prayer: Isaiah 48:10. It says, "Behold, I have refined the... I have chosen thee in the furnace of affliction." Not very long, but it is so applicable. Sometimes I just feel like I'm surrounded by people who don't know hatred or depression like I've felt it before and that somehow it keeps me from being whole. I know that I'm where I'm supposed to be and that I'm trying my best to be good, but I felt tainted somehow. Not bubbly or airheaded or perfect. That verse means so much! I'm here to help people because this gospel has literally saved me from death. I would have ended my life a long time ago had I not had an experience with this gospel and my faith in Christ that stopped me. There are people who don't understand what this church is about. They refuse to see or open their hearts to something that might touch them. Either way, my own personal furnace of affliction has refined me to be more sensitive to similar pains. I would never trade or change my circumstances or what I've gone through- they've made me who I am and they will help me in who I am becoming.

I met an Elder from North Carolina this week! He's actually in my zone and is from the High Point stake. Crazy, right? I thought I recognized him when he got here. We must have gone to some of the same activities or something a few years ago. Who knows. Anyways, his name is Jimmy McDonald and he's great! We spent like 10 minutes talking about things we miss about North Carolina, half of which were types of food and the other half was probably scenery. Silly Utah.

One last thing for the week- we have 3 Spanish books which happen to be red and happen to be varying sizes. We have now designated the smallest one as Charmander, the medium one as Charmelion, and the largest as Charazard. Yes, that just happened. BEST DISTRICT EVER, RIGHT?!

Welp that's all, folks. Peace and blessins.
Hermana Ray