Fuera de controllar

I'm alive!


Although I know that NYC got hit way hard by Sandy, the Rochester area was relatively unharmed. I saw a tree that fell.....but.....it was more likely because of anxiety than any kind of high winds. So no worries, ya'll. Alls well up here. Most people are a little upset about it though because it was so anticlimactic. I told everyone it was just a little rain. Don't believe the southerner. Yeesh.


This week seemed super long. We were at the sites a lot again, but because of the weather no one really came in at all. It's taken a quick turn towards winter this week, and I feel pretty good about it! Bob Parrott, who takes care of the Sacred Grove, comes in and talks to us during shifts sometimes at the Smith family farm and he mentioned how every winter "puny missionaries" whine all the time huddled next to a little space heater they keep in the office. I promised him I wouldn't complain at all this Winter (mostly because he didn't think I could do it, secondly because complaining doesn't get anyone anywhere) and I'm determined to do it. Everyone already knows it's cold. No point in declaring it like a baby. Heeerreeee we go. So far it's actually been really nice to be honest. It's been really wet and in the high 30's, but something that Bob said has really stuck with me- "Embrace it." Not just suffer through it, but soak it in. Appreciate it. As soon as he said it once as we were walking around I felt my shoulders relax and I started to see what he meant. This winter is going to be okay for me. Maybe I'll even come back like a toddler instead of a being a baby all the time!


I've done a LOT of thinking this week. It's been good. New surroundings always give so much to think about- somehow it always surprises me. Sister Hausauer and I talked a lot about differences in how people keep house and order and all that jazz. I've realized that I really aprpeciate organized chaos. My favorite is to see a house, a desk, a journal...anything....covered in memories. Those memories could be messy notes in various colors and handwritings, pictures, books, paintings, artifacts or who knows what else. I just like things to be lived in. Sister Hausauer is very clean which is nice. I've been blessed that all of my companions are clean people. She likes every color scheme to match, and everything that's out of order needs to be hidden from view. Luckily that just goes for her side of the room because my things are all super eclectic :) But it's interesting! I love learning more about how there really isn't just one way to do things. It seems we're always trying to make life make sense in our own way- we try to create our own paradise. Families have unique opportunities to either create a new, full atmostphere that welcomes all or to create discord when we see things as "our way" verses "their way." Space and the organization of space is fascinating.


So last week I think I mentioned how small I've felt- not just on my mission but really in life. I've been filled with gratitude that although I am insignificant and far from perfect that I am allowed to take part in so great a work. Although I always seem to be wrecking things and causing damage, I am entrusted with boundless blessings- family, friends and missionary work being at the top of the list. Have any of you actually tried to sit down recently and make a list of your blessings? It gets pretty ridiculous. If you haven't done it in a while I invite you to go and do it. It even takes precendence over finishing reading this weekly update. I'll be here when you get back. Don't forget things like fingernails, sight, hearing, brownies, internet, the smell of new books and washing machines. You're going to need lunch and nap breaks. This will take you awhile. Anyways I knew there were scriptures about that feeling but I hadn't found the right ones yet, but this week it dropped into my lap. Like...literally. Sister Hausauer had written it on a sticky note to give to one of the young women in the ward. It's 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.


9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.


I have really felt the impact of those two verses. I am happy for opportunities to understand more and to be humbled the right way. So easily we think that hating ourselves makes us humble. Not so. There's a delicate balance of loving ourselves because of who we are. The trick is though, we have to really understand who it is that we are.


Welp we've gotta get going sorry that's all I've got for the week. Missionary work is kind of hard to put into words. Maybe I'll be better at it in a few months.
Bye now!
Sister Raines