Welp here I am again. It's been a big thinking week! I've written a song and a half (this half is killing me! I hope to have it finished within the next few hours) and I've written quite a few blog posts. So this email may just end up as a wall of splattered paint if you will.
As always, it's strange to send lyrics without being able to demonstrate the music behind them, but it'll do for now. Here's the song I finished:
Oh, father Abraham
Did you know how far we'd stray?
As always, it's strange to send lyrics without being able to demonstrate the music behind them, but it'll do for now. Here's the song I finished:
Oh, father Abraham
Did you know how far we'd stray?
As the sands, we are blown
Nothing seen, nothing known
Did you know we would all fall away?
Chorus:
The pedestal is sinking
And the tide is high
There's a rumor circulating
That the end is nigh
Seeking for a source of comfort
Refuge from the storm
Up above us is a lighthouse
Bidding, "Come, be warm."
Oh, bid the storm to cease
We are lost within the waves
Comfort give me this night
I am lost from the light
It is this light which heals and which saves
Extended bridge:
There's a lighthouse on the shore
As my dearest, oldest friend
Father, I can bear no more
Understanding to me send
There's a lighthouse on the shore
As my dearest, oldest friend
And I know not what's in store
Lead and guide me till the end
Brightly beams the love of God
As we struggle in the tide
I would give up all I have
Keep me from the path that's wide
And this pretty much sums up a lot of my thought process for the week:
I think what makes missions so hard is that everything seems to be out of your control. We spend every day planning and later watching essentially every plan we ever made slip through our fingers. We, especially as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, spend our lives preaching hard work and sustainability. We’re told that God has given us the Word of Wisdom and that following it will bring good health. We’re told that following the law of chastity and staying true to eternal sealing vows will keep our hearts from situations in which hearts are so easily broken. The doctrine of repentance and perpetual improvement keep us continually getting better and freed from the burdens of sin and guilt. We say that if we keep the commandments and endure to the end, we can secure ourselves a spot in the eternal sunshine of the Almighty. As hard-working, faithful people, we see our achievements and blessings as rewards stemming from our own good behavior.
An added measure of complexity permeates the realm of reality when we turn around and can find no explanation outside of “God’s will” for someone who is sickly and keeps the Word of Wisdom. We don’t like to think about a rape victim who had been morally clean, chaste and modest in all his or her doings. We don’t know what to tell an obedient, spitiual missionary who bears goose eggs for key indicators. It makes us uncomfortable. It makes us uncomfortable because we find ourselves truly reliant on grace and the abstract concept of an infinite atonement and eternal wisdom beyond ourselves. Somewhere along the line we decided it was less painful to ask what more we could have done than to let the reassurance come: “let it be.”
Teaching Charlie has been going well! We still haven't heard anything from Leila randomly and hopefully everything is ok. This week is the halfway mark for this transfer and I'm already getting nervous! Big changes will be made since it's the transfer before pagaent. So no matter what, big things will happen in about 3 weeks :( I really love how everything is right now! But I'm sure I will love whatever happens, too. I can't believe I'm thinking about this so soon haha.
I'm really looking forward to the summer! Already we're able to see little beautiful signs. Sister Thomas pointed out my reddening hair the other day. Every year without fail! More freckles everywhere, funny little tan lines, more people running outside. It's just a good time. People are so much more agreeable when it's warm out!
Well friends I think that's all I've got for the week. Hopefully I'll have some funny stories for next Monday!
Goodnight!
Sister Nat
Nothing seen, nothing known
Did you know we would all fall away?
Chorus:
The pedestal is sinking
And the tide is high
There's a rumor circulating
That the end is nigh
Seeking for a source of comfort
Refuge from the storm
Up above us is a lighthouse
Bidding, "Come, be warm."
Oh, bid the storm to cease
We are lost within the waves
Comfort give me this night
I am lost from the light
It is this light which heals and which saves
Extended bridge:
There's a lighthouse on the shore
As my dearest, oldest friend
Father, I can bear no more
Understanding to me send
There's a lighthouse on the shore
As my dearest, oldest friend
And I know not what's in store
Lead and guide me till the end
Brightly beams the love of God
As we struggle in the tide
I would give up all I have
Keep me from the path that's wide
And this pretty much sums up a lot of my thought process for the week:
I think what makes missions so hard is that everything seems to be out of your control. We spend every day planning and later watching essentially every plan we ever made slip through our fingers. We, especially as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, spend our lives preaching hard work and sustainability. We’re told that God has given us the Word of Wisdom and that following it will bring good health. We’re told that following the law of chastity and staying true to eternal sealing vows will keep our hearts from situations in which hearts are so easily broken. The doctrine of repentance and perpetual improvement keep us continually getting better and freed from the burdens of sin and guilt. We say that if we keep the commandments and endure to the end, we can secure ourselves a spot in the eternal sunshine of the Almighty. As hard-working, faithful people, we see our achievements and blessings as rewards stemming from our own good behavior.
An added measure of complexity permeates the realm of reality when we turn around and can find no explanation outside of “God’s will” for someone who is sickly and keeps the Word of Wisdom. We don’t like to think about a rape victim who had been morally clean, chaste and modest in all his or her doings. We don’t know what to tell an obedient, spitiual missionary who bears goose eggs for key indicators. It makes us uncomfortable. It makes us uncomfortable because we find ourselves truly reliant on grace and the abstract concept of an infinite atonement and eternal wisdom beyond ourselves. Somewhere along the line we decided it was less painful to ask what more we could have done than to let the reassurance come: “let it be.”
Teaching Charlie has been going well! We still haven't heard anything from Leila randomly and hopefully everything is ok. This week is the halfway mark for this transfer and I'm already getting nervous! Big changes will be made since it's the transfer before pagaent. So no matter what, big things will happen in about 3 weeks :( I really love how everything is right now! But I'm sure I will love whatever happens, too. I can't believe I'm thinking about this so soon haha.
I'm really looking forward to the summer! Already we're able to see little beautiful signs. Sister Thomas pointed out my reddening hair the other day. Every year without fail! More freckles everywhere, funny little tan lines, more people running outside. It's just a good time. People are so much more agreeable when it's warm out!
Well friends I think that's all I've got for the week. Hopefully I'll have some funny stories for next Monday!
Goodnight!
Sister Nat
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