Szuch a good missionary!

I finished another song! This one has been in the works for a few weeks, so it was nice to finally finish it. Then the next day I started one and I'm almost done except I still need the last half of the second verse. Sometimes the little buggers don't want to come! Sometimes they come too fast for me to write.
Here ye go:

Strong enough to keep her head
Trusting what the future brings
Sitting in those words they said
Focusing on finer things

Sometimes solace can be hard to find
Pacing as you hasten passing time
Anxiously awaiting peace of mind

Looking for that greener field
Let go of your circumstance
History has taught you fear
Give your faith a fighting chance

Sometimes solace can be hard to find
Pacing as you hasten passing time
Anxiously awaiting peace of mind

Still, you have a place to turn
Calm your beating heart for now
There is so much yet to learn
Things will be okay somehow

Sometimes solace can be hard to find
Pacing as you hasten passing time
Anxiously awaiting peace of mind

Try reading the chorus out loud. It has a good ring to it, if I do say so myself.

Ok so this week! There wasn't as much that happened this week. We DID have zone conference, which turned out to be my last zone conference as a young full-time missionary. I wasn't expecting that. At one point someone said something like "before you know it, it's over" and it STUNG like it hasn't stung before. When you're in the middle, the end seems so far away you don't worry about it or think about it too much. You've got plenty of time to accomplish and become. Now I suppose I'm in the final stages, and it's hard not to feel a lot of emotions. Every day has become more of a battle of feeling like I haven't done enough, like I haven't become enough, to remember all the things I could have done better. I am trying to remember 2 Timothy 1:7 again:
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear, but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."
Could I have done things differently? Better? Oh, yeah. Absolutely. I am trying instead though to focus on what I can do better now and for the rest of my life. It's kind of crazy how humbling it can be to make changes when you've already been doing this for so long. At zone conference when I felt that I should be doing certain things better, I felt the pain of pride saying "you've been doing it wrong for this long." It would be easier to ignore it and say that I hadn't been doing anything wrong, or say that it's been fine for this long, it'll suffice for the rest of the time. I've learned though that suggestions and advice are there to help us fulfill our full potential. Every day I want to start out giving my full 100%, not coasting on whatever has worked okay in the past. I've come to have a lot more respect for people who make changes in their lives as they get older. It can't be easy to admit that there might be a better way when you've been doing something for a long time. It takes humility, and it takes vision. Kudos to everyone who makes changes, even when it's uncomfortable. Go fight win :)

Something else I've been thinking about this week is the difference between doing something out of duty, and doing something out of vision. In the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, no one is paid for their services. People are asked to teach a Sunday school class or to take attendance or go visit someone specific. EVERYONE is given a responsibility. I have truly come to appreciate that genius in a new way since being a missionary. Obviously sometimes there are people who choose not to fulfill what they were asked to do, so someone else is asked instead. Of those people who fulfill their responsibilities, they have the choice to do it out of duty, and out of vision and love. This applies to anything we do anywhere!
For example, a janitor in a high school could very easily get discouraged and bored with their duty. However, we really need what they do. The clock doesn't work without that piece. There is nothing keeping a janitor from looking for innovation and new ways to help the process- to help the entire deal function better. Imagine what astonishing difference it would make if everyone sought to be creative and work hard in whatever they were asked to do! Imagine if every plumber, librarian, tax collector, cashier, nanny and beauty consultant cared enough about the big picture and the human race to put 100% into what they were doing! As members of this church, we believe in revelation, and that is a beautiful thing. That means that if you have a responsibility as a math teacher, you have an obligation to carry out your duties. It also means that God knows how to be a better math teacher than you, and He can help you if you ask. Missionaries are in a prime position to seek revelation and carry out duties with vision, but it is possible to live without it. It isn't possible to be successful without it, but it's possible to go through the motions.
Don't go through the motions! Gain vision, and do it right. It's a beautiful feeling.

Alright that's all I have time for this week! Have a good one! Happy Valentine's Day :)
Love,
Hermana Ray

PS Happy Chinese New Year!