This week I am emphatically grateful for two things: the law of chastity and the
word of wisdom.
To clarify, the law of chastity is direction from latter-day prophets that warns
about sexual relationships outside of marriage. Pretty easy. The word of wisdom
is essentially a health code. Right now I'm especially grateful that it has
kept me from drugs and alcohol.
Kind of a weird way to start an email, I know. Let me explain!
This week for some reason we've had a chance to catch many glimpses of the
misery so many people LIVE in. Not pass through- they LIVE there. I don't know
of anything that can yank the steering wheel of our own lives out of our hands
more effectively than drugs, followed closely by sexual relationships. Pumping
gas earlier in the week a lady slinked over completely out of her head begging
for any kind of money or pain killers. My heart broke. A lady in the ward we've
been working with has been in and out of rehab because of drugs. After years of
dealing with it, her husband couldn't take it anymore and divorced her. Her
children are tired of being hurt and manipulated by her habits. Now it appears
she has no one on Earth. Someone we started teaching this week is going through
a recent breakup because she cheated on her boyfriend because she was
intoxicated. Her entire frame is wracked with guilt, self-hatred, disrespect
and hopelessness. She doesn't even know which way is up. This woman, Alex, came
to church yesterday and would randomly catch wind of what she had gotten
herself into and slip back into sobbing on Sister Thomas' shoulder while I
entertained her two young boys. She's only 28. She's also only one case out of
many we've met who gave themselves away too soon and too often and now can't
help but feeling forever vulnerable and tarnished.
The second part of these two evils is that once they've sufficiently destroyed
what you once knew, whoever effected is left with the impression that they
don't deserve anything better- maybe it doesn't even exist! So why try? They're
stuck thinking that now that they're dirty, if you will, there's no point in
trying to get clean. It's just not who they are. That second phase is the one I
hate most of all. I hate that beautiful, wonderful people with worlds of
potential can be led to think they've lost it all because of past mistakes.
It's just not true.
It's interesting to me that one of the biggest slabs of beef people have
against the church is that we have "too many rules." Too many
restrictions that keep us from having fun or being ourselves. Maybe other
people need to experiment with hell, but I am grateful that I've never had to
figure those things out the hard way. People can say whatever they want to about
restrictions, but I'm grateful for the rail that has kept me from falling.
Sure- it was my choice to follow the guidelines. I'm just grateful I knew they
were there.
Other than that...I really don't have much new to report haha. I am learning
more to take things as they come, enjoy the ride, and look forward. Every once
in awhile something from somewhere in the short past I've gathered catches up
to me and it stings. I have to remind myself that the past is over and that I'm
facing forward >> It doesn't matter anymore. At least, not if I don't let
it. (Insert Rafiki here: "its een dee past!")
Random from this week!
-We started doing P90X every once in a while haha and it kiiiilllls but it's
been fun
-I got a letter from the illustrious Alexander Christman! I miss that guy! And
I'm so proud that he's on his mission! I'm sure he'll be great. I really am so
proud of the progress he's made over the two years I've known him. I have some
of the best friends
-The Hill Cumorah Pageant creeps ever closer! I'm terrified and oh-so-excited!
I will admit much of my excitement is to see who comes up (at least I know I'll
see McKenna, Chelsea and Kevin!) but I'm also just excited to meet so many
people from all over the world! I'm terrified because I'll be giving tours to
thousands of people and we don't sleep very much for those two weeks but hey
it'll be worth it, right?
Ok see yous guys lata! Peace n blessins
Hermana Raines
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