Arabian Death Metal

Ha! You all thought I died, didn't you! Not quite yet. Sorry :)

Due to Memorial Day, the libraries were closed and us poor missionaries were stranded without internet access. So I'm emailing you all today!

First of all, a HUGE Happy birthday to Sean and Nathan Raines who are old now! There are cards coming in the mail, but sometimes I am really bad about actually getting them to the mailbox so I'm sending this picture card first :D I was pretty homesick all day on the 26th wishing I could be there with two of the greatest brothers ever, but I will be home for your birthday next year! Weird, right? We'll have a killer party. Already excited over here.

I also found Calvin st.! And took a picture obviously. So this week was just a killer homesick week! Not fair! I have the best brothers in the whole world! I hope you are all doing well. I know life is busy and writing letters gets slow.

This week was packed with a lot of rough stuff and some really amazing things as well. We had zone conference in the Sacred Grove which was phenomenal, and since we were in Palmyra we got the chance to go to the temple. It was a really good experience. On my mission I have become so much more aware of the violent ebbs and flows of life. Why are they so crazy here?! I think it's largely because my life is really just made up of being a part of tons of other people's lives- generally right when they are going through a huge crisis. Very much tiring. It's great when you feel like you can help someone, but there are also many times when we've had to step back and realize that people aren't always willing to make the changes necessary to be happy. That one hurts.
So zone conference! We were actually joined by this guy: http://bcove.me/5se3ygrb Alex Boye! He's pretty close to President Christianson. He didn't even sing though! Whaaat?
Sitting in the Sacred Grove was really good for me. It's so easy to get hurt and frustrated and overwhelmed by responsibility sometimes! How can we keep from worrying about family and friends and health and finances and relationships and inadequacies? It's pretty difficult! I'm grateful for the knowledge that I have of our Savior, Jesus Christ.
Matthew 11:28 says,"Come unto me, all ye that labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."
Not to say that I have it hard compared to so many other people on the planet, but that invitation is extended to EVERYONE! Ah it's such a blessing. How silly we would be to disregard it for whatever reason. Sometimes it really feels like we spend our lives setting up dominoes. Whether it be homework, chores, paying bills, going to work, taking a shower, consoling someone who always seems to need consolation, changing diapers, or just plain getting up in the morning trying to make it through another day, our lives are made up of billions of tiny decisions- tiny dominoes that fall so easily. And they all seem to fall at once, don't they? Sometimes someone pushes them over. Sometimes it's a breeze. Sometimes you just flat out did it wrong. Regardless of cause, it can definitely get frustrating to keep setting them up. How often do we really feel that our contributions are making a difference in the world? 
Ellen Goodman wrote, "I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people who are convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference after another."
I am grateful for all of the struggles and contributions all of you are making in your lives. This week I am trying to remember that it's worth it- even when I feel like all I'm doing is setting up dominoes. 

I've been a little on edge the last week, despite zone conference and the temple. This is probably where that dominoes idea came from. We have just run into a lot of nasty, mean people this week! One after the other! Maybe it's just because it's not in my nature to be purposefully hurtful to anyone, but I just don't understand that motive behind yelling at two young girls. MAYBE if we were being offensive or destructive. We've had people come up to us, stick a finger in our face and say slyly, "I know ALL about you and your church! And I don't want anything to do with it!" Or just come up and say, "I'm not voting for him!" Uh hey that's great! Assuming you're talking about Mitt Romney even though you didn't clarify, I'm actually not voting for him either! We don't vote as missionaries! I am currently being put to the test to see how much I can truly learn to "love one another." We are not hiding behind barriers of culture or language. I am asked to love people who know exactly what they are saying to me. We're not just asked to be kind to people who are kind to us. I am grateful for a chance to really learn this lesson. I'm also grateful for Sister Thomas. It's a lot nicer when you're not the only one getting cornered.

Well that's probably about it for this week. We are doing our best to go every day and help as many people as we can. Maybe one of the greatest lessons to learn on Earth is how to let people help you. Hopefully there will be more to report next week. If you please, just remember to send up a prayer for a couple of really tired- but really happy- missionaries in the middle of Buffalo, New York. My life is so good. I just want to make sure I'm able to use my time wisely. 

I'm sending a few pictures! Sister Thomas chopped her hair off! I think it looks really good. Have a good week everyone! Off we go.
Hermana Raines

 

 Sister Brown and I, the Spanish Buffalo Elders in the back of the car on the way to Palmyra

 Sister Thomas studying in the Sacred Grove.

 the wall next to my bed (pictures and the calendar given to me by the Dressmans!)

 And this bumper sticker I found especially for Alex Christman esq

Rice pudding

Howdy!

The first item of news I have to discuss with you all is...TAN LINES! It makes me so happy. Austin is probably already laughing as he has had ample experience with my appreciation of sunburns. Got em! And they are waaaay too attractive for my own good. I'm working on getting some really solid defined lines and then I'll take pictures in all my glory. Patience, Iago.

Next item of business! I got a new bookbag this week! I had been using a messenger bag and it was starting to tear my back up a bit. We do walk a ridiculous amount. The one I have now is a skinny little camping bag. It's great! It's like "tiny bookbag days" except mission style! Really though between these first two items of business my life is pretty dadgum great right now.

Next! I actually have a new song this week! Yep! Another one! Ha. This is likely because we hit a brick wall at the beginning of the week and it feels like Heavenly Father was testing Sister Thomas and I to see how we would really respond to resistance. As of Tuesday we had no one to teach- Leila, Charlie, Heshem, Pauline...all gone. Plus we had run into some pretty nasty people here and there which just makes you feel worse than wearing one broken stiletto. So we did what you do! We got out and tried harder to find people. When I say we went to find people, we are really looking for two qualifications.
1. People who need more light in their life. *cough*everyone*cough*
AND
2. People who are willing to receive more light.

It seems there are few people who fit this last requirement. Hmm.

Anyways we've had the opportunity to have a lot of interesting conversations and meet many wonderful people. I hope that we've been able to make someone's day along the way, but in truth this week I've really learned how much I love teaching about the doctrine of Jesus Christ. And I really like talking to people! People are so interesting. Sometimes I wish I could just spend all day listening to people talk about their lives. I guess I could become a shrink, but that... adds a different dynamic.
We talked to Kim who is nearly 40 and looks just over 20. Kim believes but has spent the last decade growing more frustrated with churches and doesn't know what to believe in anymore. Sometimes figuring it out has just gotten so frustrating that it doesn't seem worth it.
We met Richard- a devout Roman Catholic with a huge smile who tried to give us donations haha. I think we startled him by refusing but he'll be okay. He was so grateful that there are "young people trying to do the right thing." He kept calling Sister Thomas "lady in red." Oh, Richard.
We talked to Pat and David and got a tour of their little garden. We met their neighbors and found out that their dog had just died.
We spent some time with Bruce- a man who lives up the street with trees blocking the front door and a grown-over lawn. We're going back this weekend to help him pull weeds. Bruce distrusts organized religion but admires that the Mormons he's met always seemed to practice what they preached.
We talked to Lorine and Sharon- old friends who know more about each other than they do themselves. Lorine does all the talking and Sharon does everything else. 

I wish I could send little video clips of each of these people and the dozens of others we met this week. Or at least pictures! I am not likely to ever meet any of them again in my lifetime, but I find myself hoping they're doing okay. It's hard not to love people sometimes. 

But back to the song! In the middle of the week, I woke up at 4:30 am with the song RIGHT there in my head and so I got up to write it down and never got back to sleep. Totally worth it. This one is meant for the guitar so I won't be able to get any solid background till I get home, but I was able to get the chords stationed on the piano. Here are the lyrics:

Abide with me
Don't hurry, stay awhile with me
I feel it as I let go of my cares
It helps to know You're there

Even now
I'm peaceful sitting here somehow
And though I'm plagued
By thoughts and memories
You put my mind at ease

And at the close of one more day
Sometimes the only thing to say
Is, "I'll be okay."

Still awake
You're not alone, make no mistake
There is so much that
Keeps us from our dreams
But life's more simple than it seems

Just be good
Treat people as you know you should
We're not here just to 
Watch and weep and sigh
And to bemoan what passes by

And at the start of one more day,
Sometimes the only thing to say
Is, "We'll be okay."

There's a bridge but...I left it at home. So...next week! But there's the main part.

Adding to the grandeur of this week, I got an A+ package from the Dressmans! Spring shirts, tiny cheez-its and Skyline! Thank you thank you. 2 blesd 2 B stresd. 

Yesterday we went to a barbeque at the Hawes' home- a bunch of family was in town because Taylor graduated from law school this weekend. Sister Thomas and I just sat peacefully for a good portion of it- soaking in the atmosphere of their family and the sunshine. Life moves forward feeding from moments like those. Home can be a heaven on earth. I can't wait to go to more of those kinds of things with people I consider my own family in a year! 

That's plenty for this week ha I hope everyone is doing well. Love to all,
Hermana Raines

 ps-President Christianson's brother came out from Utah this week! He fell away from the church when he was younger and just recently has decided to try and learn again. He was so fun to meet! They took this group of us to Duffs (Buffalo wings) and it was a nice break for a bit.

See ya!

Miel

Welp here I am again. It's been a big thinking week! I've written a song and a half (this half is killing me! I hope to have it finished within the next few hours) and I've written quite a few blog posts. So this email may just end up as a wall of splattered paint if you will.

As always, it's strange to send lyrics without being able to demonstrate the music behind them, but it'll do for now. Here's the song I finished:
Oh, father Abraham
Did you know how far we'd stray?

As the sands, we are blown
Nothing seen, nothing known
Did you know we would all fall away?

Chorus:
The pedestal is sinking
And the tide is high
There's a rumor circulating
That the end is nigh
Seeking for a source of comfort
Refuge from the storm
Up above us is a lighthouse
Bidding, "Come, be warm."

Oh, bid the storm to cease
We are lost within the waves
Comfort give me this night
I am lost from the light
It is this light which heals and which saves

Extended bridge:
There's a lighthouse on the shore
As my dearest, oldest friend
Father, I can bear no more
Understanding to me send
There's a lighthouse on the shore
As my dearest, oldest friend
And I know not what's in store
Lead and guide me till the end
Brightly beams the love of God
As we struggle in the tide
I would give up all I have
Keep me from the path that's wide

And this pretty much sums up a lot of my thought process for the week:
I think what makes missions so hard is that everything seems to be out of your control. We spend every day planning and later watching essentially every plan we ever made slip through our fingers. We, especially as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, spend our lives preaching hard work and sustainability. We’re told that God has given us the Word of Wisdom and that following it will bring good health. We’re told that following the law of chastity and staying true to eternal sealing vows will keep our hearts from situations in which hearts are so easily broken. The doctrine of repentance and perpetual improvement keep us continually getting better and freed from the burdens of sin and guilt. We say that if we keep the commandments and endure to the end, we can secure ourselves a spot in the eternal sunshine of the Almighty. As hard-working, faithful people, we see our achievements and blessings as rewards stemming from our own good behavior.
An added measure of complexity permeates the realm of reality when we turn around and can find no explanation outside of “God’s will” for someone who is sickly and keeps the Word of Wisdom. We don’t like to think about a rape victim who had been morally clean, chaste and modest in all his or her doings. We don’t know what to tell an obedient, spitiual missionary who bears goose eggs for key indicators. It makes us uncomfortable. It makes us uncomfortable because we find ourselves truly reliant on grace and the abstract concept of an infinite atonement and eternal wisdom beyond ourselves. Somewhere along the line we decided it was less painful to ask what more we could have done than to let the reassurance come: “let it be.”


Teaching Charlie has been going well! We still haven't heard anything from Leila randomly and hopefully everything is ok. This week is the halfway mark for this transfer and I'm already getting nervous! Big changes will be made since it's the transfer before pagaent. So no matter what, big things will happen in about 3 weeks :( I really love how everything is right now! But I'm sure I will love whatever happens, too. I can't believe I'm thinking about this so soon haha.

I'm really looking forward to the summer! Already we're able to see little beautiful signs. Sister Thomas pointed out my reddening hair the other day. Every year without fail! More freckles everywhere, funny little tan lines, more people running outside. It's just a good time. People are so much more agreeable when it's warm out! 
Well friends I think that's all I've got for the week. Hopefully I'll have some funny stories for next Monday!
Goodnight!
Sister Nat

Brian random cool

Every week seems to be weird! As I go through and try to review what
happened so I can know what to say in emails I am really just left
with the realization that my life is weird. Actually, let me refine
that. Life is just weird. And because my life currently subsists of
being involved in tons of other people's lives, my life is SUPER
weird.

The most exciting theme of the week was the Spanish branch of our
ward!! I am SO EXCITED! It's a huge deal out here- the Buffalo ward
has a small group of Spanish speakers, so we've been working with the
leadership to try and have a separate sacrament meeting service in
Spanish. Yesterday it happened! It was so powerful. I was just
reminded of how much I've really come to love the Spanish language.
It's a huge part of who I am, and it's become an even greater part
since I entered the MTC. I'm so grateful for the training I've had and
my opportunity to live in Mexico for a while! It's helped more than I
ever imagined it would. Many times this week I found myself really
missing Mexico. I would really love to just pick up and move there or
some other Spanish speaking country (but since I have the opportunity
to talk to so many people from different origins I'm finding that I
feel most at home with Mexico) and just live. I could teach English or
history, I could do social work or any number of things, but I just
know that this needs to be a part of my life for as long as I live.
Along the same lines, the ward had a Cinco de Mayo party this weekend!
Sister Brown was a piano teacher, and she played the Pirates of the
Caribbean theme? while the rest of us ran around like fools. A few
people filmed it and it would sound dumb if I tried to explain what we
did so you will all just have to wait until I post the video in about
a year :) Hahaa

Yesterday was also a big day because Becky Graham was baptized! The
Elders have been teaching her and she is just so sweet. She has been
attending AA for a few weeks and was so excited about finding the
gospel that she's been telling everyone who comes to her AA meetings!
It's beautiful to see the truths of the gospel touch and heal people's
lives. We spend most of our time frustrated with people who prefer to
wallow in their misery aka not make good decisions that sometimes I
forget that there are people who actually want to better themselves.
Every single week we meet more people who are sick half to death
because of smoking (we set a goal for one lady to have less than 15
cigs a day and she is really having trouble with meeting that goal)
and although they know that it's bad for them, they say they just
don't care to let it go. It's hard to see people you care about want
to be unhealthy and troubled.

In other news, Sister Thomas and I, along with the Elders, helped a
lady move everything from the upstairs apartment to a downstairs
apartment. Including her refrigerator, heater, washer, and dryer. The
best part was we were still in proselyting clothes, so we must have
looked ridiculous. The Elders are going to have to get rid of those
shirts...because it was not a clean job. Oh, mission memories. I just
love my district. I don't know why it was so fun but moving all that
stuff was one of the fondest memories from the past week! Service is a
good thing. Such a good thing.

Two other things from this week:
-We participated in fish fry Friday! It's HUGE in Buffalo. We went to
the restaurant Leila works at and got it there and then she surprised
us with homemade rice pudding at the end and it was WAY good. Much
impressed.
-We got to meet Pauline's son, David, yesterday! We've been teaching
Pauline for just over a month now and we've never been able to meet
her son. He has cerebral palsy and lives in an assisted living center.
He was SO sweet and so happy! Yesterday was just an A+ day. It was the
perfect temperature and sunny, and we just kept rolling from one
beautiful event to another. I am grateful for Sundays that renew me
and give me strength to make it through another week.

Happy Mother's Day this weekend! Que tengan una buena semana,
Hermana Raines

Ascended Master

Hello again!
Weeks keep speeding up as I go on. It feels like I just wrote you all! What else do I have to say? Yikes!
Well first of all, transfer calls came and I'm staying at least another 6 weeks! Woo! Haha It'll be nice to actually have a chance to settle in to the area and everything. And I love Sister Thomas so much! I definitely would have cried my eyes out had I had to leave so soon. I just love this everything. I love being here and doing this.

This week I finally got to use a bit of Spanish! Thank heavens! It felt like coming home haha. There's a lady named Yaneri who is actually out of our area but because I'm the only Spanish speaking missionary for quite a ways they're having me teach her! She was baptized into the church when she was younger but her family fell away and she doesn't remember hardly anything except what she felt when it was in her life and the strong emphasis on family values and the principles that build families within the church. Yaneri is from Honduras so I'm getting used to her accent but it's way fun! I really do love the Spanish language so much. I wish the Elders over the Buffalo South area would hand some of their people over! Come on!

This weekend there's an amazing broadcast being aired that you all need to see! It'll be at 8 PM (Eastern) on Sunday, May 6th. It talks a lot about the Sacred Grove and the historic sites in my area! President Christianson is in it, as well as a few Elders serving with me. We're all watching it out here! So if you're watching, you'll know that we're both seeing the same thing at the same time! That's kinda cool, eh? I'm so pumped for this. Let me know what you think! It'll be on BYUTV and I assume you can find it on lds.org? Not sure internet wise. 

Probably the most eventful theme of the week was Donna. Donna needed help moving this weekend, saying she was moving to England, so a group of us went over to help her! She lived at an assisted living center, but was extremely peppy and healthy looking. Slowly but surely we started to realize what the issue was. Donna informed us that she died on the Titanic, she was pregnant at the time by the way, and now has been brought back as a being similar to the Dalai Llama. She calls herself an "ascended master." She is moving to England because her family has 5 castles there. Although everyone keeps saying she only has 3, she KNOWS there are 5. I would be concerned too: wouldn't you? While in England, she will have to choose between the two males vying for her hand in marriage. She suggested that we keep tabs on the news because the wedding will be on it for sure. The most interesting thing with Donna was that her manner was so collected that a few times I questioned myself- was there actually anything off with this woman? Maybe she DID have 5 castles! All in all it made for quite the confusing weekend. She insists on paying us in cereal boxes, so I'll let you know if that comes through.

Something I've been learning recently in my studies...the idea of unbelief because of iniquity/wrongdoing. We generally think of people who do good and are good as those who are Christians- that they do good things because they have an understanding and belief in the character of Christ and have a desire to follow Him. I've found though that it works both ways. Those who follow the example of Christ and do good things will see their faith build- they'll find it easier to believe. So what that means for the rest of us is that if you're having trouble with an aspect or principle of the gospel of Christ, try being good! Try changing something that you're doing to be more in line with what your conscience (aka the Holy Ghost) would have you do, and watch your faith grow. I've been reading in 3rd Nephi this past week and there is example after example of how people start doing wrong things- being prideful, tricking people up, etc.- and their faith in the Savior dwindles as a result. Do the right thing- it just makes everything better.

Ok I'm done!
Bye :) Have a good week.
Hermana Ray

Leila

I am so grateful to be a missionary!

You know I wish that I could describe exactly why, but honestly I can't! It's not that everything is perfect and it's not that we're having a lot of "success." It's just that somehow every day is a good day! Logically that makes absolutely no sense. I'm away from all those I love, away from any place I call home, my schooling, my job...even my clothes haha. I really do feel like Peter and the apostles in some ways when Christ says for them to leave their nets and follow Him. It's taken a lot of faith and a little heartache, but once I got on the road very little has obscured the way. That doesn't mean that things don't go wrong. I think it just means that we're given the extra strength to handle whatever it is we've got going on.
Mosiah 24:14
"And I will also ease the burdens which are put upon your shoulders, that even you cannot feel them upon your backs, even while you are in bondage; and this will I do that ye may stand as witnesses for me hereafter, and that ye may know of a surety that I, the Lord God, do visit my people in their afflictions."

So...this week! Haha. Even just considering what I should write for this week kind of makes me laugh. It was...a strange one. We spent Thursday evening through Saturday afternoon in Palmyra for a Visitors Center training, got back, and I spent the rest of the weekend throwing up in the bathroom. No clue what that was about. However! Now that I am all cleaned out, I feel a lot better. Just spending today rehydrating and whatnot. It'll be a good week. It was really good to see everyone in Palmyra! I really love the people who serve here. I am so blessed to have gotten so close to so many so quickly! (Too many "so's"- duly noted).

A little ray of sunshine for this coming week and the weeks to come will surely be Leila! We just started meeting with her and she is an absolute gem! Leila is giving, faithful, loving, positive, happy...she's just wonderful. She talks a lot about how she's always looking to learn more and is grateful for her Catholic roots and how they've gotten her through so many things! She is a breast cancer survivor as well as some of the other beautiful and strong women we've met, and it's been such a blessing to talk with her about her experiences so far in her life. She also reminds me a lot of Donna, so selfishly it's been really nice to have that! You both even talk similarly :) Woo!

President Christianson offered some really great advice this weekend that I feel like I should share. It stung a little bit when I realized that it was exactly what I needed to hear, but hey that's how I've grown, right? Reading in Doctrine and Covenants 117:11, it says to get rid of "littleness of soul." Kind of a strange phrase, isn't it? What does "littleness of soul" mean? For me in most cases it's seemed to mean pettyness. Comparison, envy, even self hatred? I'm cringing as I write this. It means coming to understand what my Heavenly Father created me as and what he intends me to be! In those times where we (meaning I) belittle ourselves- we question our purpose or our potential- we can diagnose ourselves as giving way to "littleness of soul." This week I am trying to stay away from that! Instead, I want to be strong, capable, focused, happy, and grateful. Truly, there's no reason to be anything else. Don't be little this week! Be big! Do something great!

Welp that's pretty much it for this week! I'm just so happy to be able to spend all of my time helping and uplifting anyone who will let us. There is no reason to walk in darkness at noonday! The gospel of Jesus Christ is on the Earth- the fullness, the joy, the understanding. And I get to share it with people! So good. I hope everyone reading this is looking forward to a good week, too.
Love, love!
Seester Raines

Abbey!

Ok this is an apology in advance because I'm really having trouble coming up with anything to say for this week! It was a pretty good one, but nothing I would call to chat about. I must be really pensive or something the last few days.

One thing for sure though- Niagra Falls was great! It was one of the best pdays I've had! It was BEAUTIFUL and so nice just to walk around outside and feel the spray on our faces :) I'm sending a few pictures! The transfer is over in just a week and a half which means it's likely that some of the people in the group will be moved! So sad. But I'm pretty sure I'll be here for at least 4 transfers. My money is on Sister Thomas getting transferred first. We shall see.

I've been reading a lot in the end of Alma and beginning of Helaman in the Book of Mormon this week which has really got me going back to my history teacher thought processes. I've realized that so much of this life is given to us to learn moderation! Consider it. Heavenly Father created this vast, astounding universe. And He created it so that we have to sleep and eat correct amounts to sustain life. Why?? Why can't we just dispense of those frustrating responsibilities? Why do we always have to make sure we eat but never too much or the wrong type? Why do we have to take time out of our lives to sleep so often? But when we sleep too much we are groggy for the day. In government it takes the right balance (which we are forever searching for) of providing help to those in need and making sure that people are self-sustainable. In the eternal plan, we learn that through Jesus Christ, God has created a system wherein we are weighed in the perfect balance of justice and mercy. It seems that our entire existence is spent in seeking moderation. Those who come closest are happiest, and those who are furthest are the most miserable.

We've been teaching a lady from England, Pauline, and she just helps us so much. Sometimes in helping people it seems like we are surrounded by unreliability, bitterness, heartache and pain. And although Pauline experiences all of those things, in the end she is just so sweet and considerate. I love teaching her! I'm grateful to have her in my life. We had some interesting experiences this week with other people we were teaching or who we met on the street. One man suggested that we move to Iran or Afghanistan "since they shoot Christians there," the man we were teaching who was affliated with the Italian mafia in his younger years (oh, the stories) suddenly decided that he didn't want to talk religion anymore and preferred that we didn't come back. One lady we're teaching is convinced she's under a satanic attack. It's strange to be thrust in the middle of all of these varying life problems! So many people are afflicted with problems outside of their control, but the majority recently seem to be the result of poor decision making. In those times, I want to introduce the entire world to people like Janice Wills or Deborah Tilley who I wrote about last week. It's strange to want to explain to so many people that their decisions are bringing them pain and those decisions are childish! I know I'm only 21 but I have figured out that good decisions lead to a better life.

Alma 41:10
Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness.

Ok I think that's all I've got for this week. I'll try to be more organized n stuff next week :)
Oh and one more thing...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!! I miss you and I hope it's great!
Kbye!
Hermana Ray