There are few things more paralyzing
Than that fear

Fairweather Friend

Well, hear we are.

Home is kind of a funny word. As it turns out, I attach that word to people. With that said, I am really happy to be home with my dad and brothers. I sure do love them.

Mostly, I think I was surprised at how normal it felt to walk back into life after being a missionary. Don't get me wrong- I loved and appreciated my time preaching the good word, but I knew this was coming. I knew it was time.

I think probably the strangest part about being hurled back into what is generally termed as reality is that you've missed the slow progression of all your loved ones. Sometimes people have started turning their lives around and then when you get back you're pleasantly surprised. On the other hand, those who've let themselves go are much more of a shock than they would have been otherwise. The difference between your interactions as a missionary and non-missionary is that as a missionary I primarily dealt with people searching for help. Now I seem to be swimming in a world full of my friends and family who are so sad and would prefer for me to watch them suffer rather than help in any way. That's comfortable.

Pros and cons exist in all situations. Happy to be home, but I need to build up some of those old callouses.

You are the torch and it all makes sense

The best word to describe this week is probably "unconventional."

We just had a lot of strange stuff go on, but considering it was my last week as a missionary, I probably shouldn't be that surprised.

First of all, last Sunday Sister Szuch and I were invited to go speak at the Wellsville Branch. There were 21 people there in total, and that's including 8 missionaries (us, a set of elders, and 2 senior couples). It took just over 2 hours to get there, and the way was beautiful. Spring came on super quick here in New York and it has been so wonderful this past week! The rolling hills and trees everywhere is pretty similar to North Carolina but not as hot. It was nice to have so much time to just sort some things out in my head. There is something so therapeutic about car trips.

Sister Szuch and I both anticipated the entire event being kind of sad because of how small the group is, but I was really surprised! There was such a happy and pleasant spirit about those people, and I feel so privileged that I had the opportunity to meet them and speak there! It made me so happy to think about how valiant and strong people are all over the world. Going to church is not about entertainment or talent- it's about truth. Every week they carry on with their various tasks, standing very alone in their groups of friends and family, but they know what's right, so what else matters? I spoke on receiving guidance and revelation through the Spirit, and Sister Szuch spoke on what we've recently termed "the big three." Those are:

1. Prayer

2. Scripture Study

3. Service

Everyone has those days where they just feel irritated or depressed. Sometimes it's seemingly for no reason, sometimes it's because of legitimate circumstances. Regardless, on those days I've started asking myself- how were my prayers this morning? Was I really trying to pray or was it routine? Then, how was my study this morning? Did I do it? Was I really there or was I unfocused? And then finally, who am I serving right now? If you are seeking to gratify yourself, your day is going to continue to be terrible. If you are looking for others who need help, you will feel lighter and more happy. If your day has been rotten, go back to the big 3. Generally, it is there that you will find your answer! I know God didn't put us here to be unhappy. He put us here to confront challenges for sure! But He is always looking to help us through.

So I guess this is my last email! There are a bunch of different ways I could end this...quite a bit has changed over the last year and a half. I'm about the same weight, (although I'm pretty sure I've lost some baby fat in my face) I'm the same height, I still don't like onions, bees are still of Satan, but so much of how I see myself, God, and the world has changed. I feel at peace, and I feel more whole. I will miss so much of Western New York and being a missionary, but I am looking forward to the next chapter of my life. I am so grateful for the opportunity I've had of being a full-time missionary. The church is true, my friends.

See you all soon!

Sister Raines signing out.

Full court press

This week we went on exchanges again, except since a lot of weird stuff has been going on with the site trainers, I went with Sister Aiello from Italy instead of Sister Madsen, and Sister Butters came to Waterloo with Sister Szuch. It was interesting! Sister Aiello goes home a transfer after me but she's really struggled with English. I'm proud of her for keepin on- language is not an easy thing. 

Other than that, there's really not much to update anyone on! I hope everyone has a good week

Sister Raines

Righteous Revolutionaries

To give you a bit of a glimpse of what it's like to live in my house right now...the 4 of us spent a good 10 minutes this morning discussing the label on my recently purchased body wash. It's called "sheer twilight." We were specifically discussing how it's impossible to say that name without whispering it. It has to be whispered! Anyways.

As for the rest of life, I have been getting more and more tired. You can see it in pictures taken of me, which is part of why I've been sending fewer and fewer pictures. I've been learning more on my mission to live in the moment because sometimes it's too much to think about anything besides the task at hand. Yesterday morning I woke up and thought to myself "I can do today." And I knew I could! And I did. Sometimes I have to tell myself "I can do this next hour" or something like that until I can get up the energy to focus on more. I can't think about anything at home really because it's too much to focus on and it's overwhelming because I can barely do what I need to do for the rest of the week! I used to be really good at seeing ahead even years ha. As much as I really love this work, it is very tiring. More tiring for your soul and emotions, it seems. Tiring nonetheless. I am grateful for every moment, and I am grateful for moments to catch your breath and dive back in. This is a lesson I'll need to understand for the rest of my life! Not everything is a cake walk, but I can do today.

I said goodbye to my dear Bre and Yesse from Rochester this week! I'm attaching a picture of them from when they were baptized in December. The Elders in the singles branch taught them, but somehow or other we got to be good friends. It was weird to say bye to them because it was one of the first goodbyes I've had to say. They are planning a trip to Utah in June though, so I hope to see them then.

A theme that Sister Szuch and I kind of stumbled into this week comes from Mormon 9:19-
"And if there were miracles wrought then, why has God ceased to be a God of miracles and yet be an unchangeable Being? And behold, I say unto you he changeth not; if so he would cease to be God; and he ceaseth not to be God, and is a God of miracles."

Miracles don't always look like we expect they will look! But they are still there. I'm grateful for the many miracles in my life. It was a good pilot light of a scripture for this week for me. I hope it helps some of you, too.

That's all from me!

Sister Ray

"Hope on. Journey on. Honestly acknowledge your questions and your concerns, but first and forever, fan the flames of your faith." -Jeffrey R. Holland

 

 

Always be yourself. Unless you can be Batman, then always be Batman.

Good morning :)

Sorry I'm emailing so late this week- we had appointments all afternoon, and this morning we decided to hit up the Salvation army. I got a Catcher in the Rye tshirt! Life is good. Clearly.

Ok! This week! We're still teaching this one family, but we can never seem to get through all the lessons because every time we get there they've brought a friend over and they want us to start over! So that's been fun. I really love answering questions. There's a trend these days to lean towards anything that's known as "nondenominational," which is sweet in theory, but when what that really translates to is not having any doctrine. Nondenominational seems to work alright if all people want is good morals, but Christ established a church so that we could receive truth. Not talking about the issues doesn't exactly fix anything, and it doesn't teach anything. It's just running.

"And he gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers; For the perfecting of the saints, for the work of the ministry, for the edifying of the body of Christ: Till we all come in the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, unto a perfect man, unto the measure of the stature of the fulness of Christ: That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ." 
-Ephesians 4:11-15

When we went to teach that family on Tuesday, 3 teenagers were sitting on their couch. When we mentioned that we were going to have a lesson they asked if they could stay! I love kids who have questions. One of them asked question after question after question. I absolutely LOVED it! I loved it because questions are good! They are good if we are willing to be patient, to trust God, and to feel truth. He still had a ton of questions when we left but we had other appointments to get to that day. We will be meeting with that group again tomorrow afternoon. Everybody has questions! It doesn't seem to me that God intended us to go through this life confused without a way to find light and truth.

"If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

-James 1:5

Sometimes it takes awhile, but understanding comes. Truth exists, regardless of our acknowledgement of it or obedience to it. I am grateful for that.

General Conference was phenomenal! I've been having trouble narrowing down my favorites...but I think it's between one given by Elaine S. Dalton and one given by Dieter F. Uchtdorf. When I was listening to Sister Dalton I was reminded of how grateful I am to be a woman, and to know that I am a daughter of God. It's hard to describe how I felt as I listened to her. I felt whole and capable and happy. I hope you all take the chance to watch that if you haven't already. Elder Uchtdorf talked about light and darkness. He talked about a woman who lived in adverse circumstances for much of her early life. To demonstrate the point of his address, he said:
"She sought counseling and medical help and began to realize that, for her, the best path for healing was to understand and accept that darkness exists—but not to dwell there. For, as she now knew, light also exists—and that is where she chose to dwell."
He goes on to discuss how the source of this light is Jesus Christ. How grateful I am to know that!
Sister Dalton's talk:
https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/we-are-daughters-of-our-heavenly-father?lang=eng
Elder Uchtdorf's talk:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/the-hope-of-gods-light?lang=eng

Pay attention to how you feel as you read or watch or listen to their addresses. I know their words to be true.

Things are still good in all other realms of missionary life. It still hasn't sunk in that I'm leaving really...I've been told it won't sink in until I'm on a plane heading south, but I suppose we'll see. I am happy to be here, and I'll be happy to hug all of you again. Can't complain either way.

I hope everyone is well in the muggle world! Don't forget about me in the next few weeks, ok?

Love,
Sister Raines

Spice Cake

It's been a great week! Sister Szuch started it out (the week starts the day after I email in this case) by riding bikes everywhere we had to go on Saturday instead of using the car. Mostly this was because we were out of miles for the month. We wouldn't have been thrust into the dungeon or anything if we had gone over, but I kind of like a challenge, it seems. And it worked! But my bum ached for like 2 days afterwords. The problem with this plan is we had an appointment to do service with a member of the ward who lives on the other side of Seneca Falls, the other sisters' area. When we got to their house at the end of the 18 mile day, they refused to let us bike home, so we got a ride in their truck from their. I can't say I wasn't happy about that. Our bikes never did learn how to gear down from 6th gear. Yeah...

Most of our week was spent at the Visitors' Centers which continue to pick up in traffic. I really love giving tours when it's busy. Can I just say that? The VC has been a trial of my mission in many ways because switching focus back and forth from normal missionary work to VC work makes you a little crazy, and sitting around studying for hours when no one comes in also makes you a little crazy. When people come in though, I remember how much I really love people, and I get to talk about the sites here, which I love! It's great. I'm grateful I get to end my mission on a busy note instead of a Winter one.

This morning we got to go take a yoga class! Right before I got pink eye we went and helped this lady paint the studio because she was renovating it but was really busy. They are great! They live next to the Lindquists in the ward, which is how she found us. Before my mission I never really did yoga, and my only experience with it was like flailing and standing in funny positions. When yoga is done well, it is AWESOME. I'd like to continue to experiment with it in some capacity when I get home. I attribute most of this to Tony of P90X :) Thanks, Tony.

All the new Sisters seem to be doing well and everything is calming down from the craziness of this past transfer. I have not started packing yet, in case you were wondering...I don't plan on doing that for a few more weeks. Sister Szuch and I are livin it up for as long as is possible. I will really miss teaching about the Gospel of Jesus Christ here soon. I hope I get some crazy teaching calling in NC when I get back. If not I might start calling some of you randomly and asking to review a principle. Just when you thought I hadn't turned into a crazy, right? Ok I'll try not to do that.

Not too much other news for now I don't think- things are good. Britton had a relapse at smoking this week, but after a little bit of reassurance, he's back on track. Sometimes the worst part of quitting something or trying to improve is getting the motivation to try again once you relapse. He's a good kid. I'm grateful to know him, and I'm grateful for people who have the courage to press on!

Ok I'm out for this week. Have a cheery week!

Sister Raines

PS. Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner.