Brave

How was everyone's Christmas?! The libraries were closed the last two days so we are able to email today!

It's been pretty busy around here for the season as I'm sure everyone can say. We've been doing a lot of service at a homeless shelter in Irondequoit- organizing and distributing donated Christmas presents to the homeless and needy. The House of Mercy has been a really interesting experience in general. We've been helping with them for weeks now. Before Christmas we helped organize storage units, clean, etc. It's been really wonderful to see because although the house itself is located on one of the more rough streets in town, there is a sense of respect. In fact, at the close of one of the days of gift distributing, we were surprised to find out that the man guarding the door only letting so many people in the gift room at a time was T-bone- one of the biggest drug lords in the city of Rochester. Ha! We think so often in terms of black and white: If you do this, you are this. If you do that, you are that. I've learned so much about loving people separate of their choices. It doesn't make all choices right, and it certainly doesn't mean all choices lead to happiness, but we're all playing a different game. In the end, I think people really pull through.

This year I have been extremely moved by Christmas music! The Rochester and Buffalo zones got together for part of Tuesday and there were some musical numbers performed there, as well as the Christmas program on Sunday. My two favorite Christmas songs are O Come Emmanuel and O Holy Night I think. They are just so good. I'm grateful for the power that music has to hit something home that just speaking can't do.
So I might as well send the lyrics to the Christmas song I wrote! One of the elders learned a harmony part, and Sister Brown learned the piano and then amplified it so it actually came out sounding pretty good!

In a stable long ago
From the Heavens came a King
Sent to bring us safely home
Let all Earth and nature sing
Hallelujah! Glory, laud, and honor be His sacred name
Hallelujah is the message! Let the whole wide world proclaim

Be with them that seek Him
Never let the candle dim
I wish the whole world knew
Let Him be the reason
For this Christmas season
Let there be peace in you

Let your hearts be filled with light
When tribulation sounds the drum
Be not fearful of the future
Christ the King has overcome
Hallelujah! Glory, laud, and honor be His sacred name
Hallelujah is the message! Let the whole wide world proclaim

Be with them that seek Him
Never let the candle dim
I wish the whole world knew
Let Him be the reason
For this Christmas season
Let there be peace in you. 

A group of missionaries went caroling this week to different people in the area! We did not sing the song I wrote haha :) I haven't been caroling for as long as I can remember. Normally I'm actually pretty opposed to it because it's fairly awkward to make people stand in the cold as they listen to mediocre melodies from half strangers, but because this time we were able to pick people who we knew would appreciate it, it was good! 

It was so good to talk to everyone yesterday! My heart is full. I'm so grateful for all the support I've received so far on my mission. The last few months will be the best I am sure of it.

Till next week!
Sister Raines

Filters and feeble minds

This week I learned a lot about how important it is to see things as they really are.

"Behold, my brethren, he that prophesieth, let him prophesy to the understanding of men; for the Spirit speaketh the truth and lieth not. Wherefore, it speaketh of things as they really are, and of things as they really will be; wherefore, these things are manifested unto us plainly, for the salvation of our souls." (Jacob 4:13)

 

The Spirit testifies of truth- things as they REALLY ARE and really will be. That is so important! Off and on I've had a theme of mental instibility and the idea of a sound mind. I had a chance to talk with President Christianson this week about some of the struggles that have presented themselves over the last 2 months. As I talked with him, I realized how altered my perception of reality had become. In Buffalo I learned to be confident in myself and my ability to perform the tasks I was asked to do with God's help. I felt valued, needed, and healthy. I grew even more in Brockport, and although I was aware of weaknesses, my understanding and gratitude for Christ's sacrifice and power was growing as well. I knew I was far from perfect, but I knew I had infinite worth in the eyes of God.There is some serious power in that understanding- knowledge of who we are to God moves us to want to be better and gives us the sense of stability and value which we so desperately need. It comes as no surprise then that those without this understanding search frantically for anything else that might give them a sense of place. It might take the form of merit in academics, career, financial assets, trite compliments, or even self medication to dull the pain of the void.
These past few months I realized how easy it is to get off base. Embarrassing as it is, I lost sight of who I am for a little while. I was hurt, and I retreated from what I knew. I turned away from those around me. How quickly ideas grow! I imagined myself to be of little worth, and stopped trusting and confiding in so many, beginning with my companion and mission president. I've struggled to keep in contact with just about anyone from home- even my letters to Austin have struggled. Even more devastating though, my prayers have struggled. How often do we find solace in the company of strangers when we question our self worth? How often do we think we'll be happier with people who don't know how small we really are instead of trusting those who can hurt us? God included?
I am working on making a better effort to come to people instead of run, starting with my Father in Heaven. For today, I am trusting that I matter to Him.

"Yea, verily I say unto you, if ye will come unto me ye shall have eternal life. Behold, mine arm of mercy is extended towards you, and whosoever will come, him will I receive; and blessed are those who come unto me." (3 Nephi 9:14)

Today there is a huge Christmas activity at the Visitors Center, so all the Sisters are in Palmyra for the day. Should be fun :) The two that are in Brockport are staying at our apartment for a few days and it's been really great so far! I'm am blessed to know such great people. I wrote a Christmas song over the last couple weeks, too, and I'll be performing that so I hope it goes well!

Till next week! Love,
Sister Raines

Never take wooden nickels

Hi!

So....this week was very up and down! In the end though, a lot has been ironed out and I'm a better person than I was a week ago. That's what I asked for by coming out here, wasn't it?

A huge highlight about the week was I got to go on an exchange with Sister Madsen! We came out to New York together and we get along great. It was one of the best days of the last few months!

With Christmas coming close, we are spending a lot of time trying to share Christmas messages with people. I've been writing a Christmas song...I can't remember if I've mentioned that before. It's coming along pretty well! I've got a few other missionaries working on it with me. I will let you know how it goes. I apologize in advance because I really am left without money or time to go Christmas shopping this year. I've been working on some killer cards, but it appears that it might be all I've got to give this year. I hope no one is hurt, I'm just slightly limited currently. I hope everyone's Christmas is good anyways! Haha :)

Things in Brighton with Sister Hausauer are good. I'm am getting better acclimated to the Visitors' center. Nothing truly interesting to tell in a story, but I am doing well.
I hope everyone is good!
With love,
Sister Raines

My exchange with Sister Madsen! Sure do love her.

And in the end, we begin again.

First item of business:

We have a Christmas tree.

No, like you don't understand. It's as legit as you can get as a missionary. Two of the elders dropped it off (it looks kind of like the tree from Charlie Brown?) in front of our apartment as a joke....but we definitely made the best of it. Fixed it up, filled it with makeshift ornaments, and placed my fuzzy pink birthday tiara at the top as a celebratory "Happy Birthday, Jesus" star. I am so proud. I'll take some pictures before Christmas. Just thought you all should know I will be spending this Christmas in style.
Recently, I am learning more and more about the balance between two principles demonstrated in the following verses. They're short, don't worry.
1. And all things, whatsoever ye shall ask in prayer, believing, ye shall receive. (Matt. 21:22)
2. Not that I speak in respect of want: for I have learned, in whatsoever state I am, therewith to be content. (Phil. 4:11)
Are you getting my dilemma? Understand that these concepts are only contradictory in extreme terms. Essentially, ask for what you need, but be content with what you've got. It's an eternal cycle of humility- always learning more how to rely on God for everything and go to Him for help. Always seeking progress and betterment, and finding joy and peace in the blessings you already have. I may never master the balance between these two concepts, but I am trying to get better at them. It seems so often I lean too much on one side or the other.


The beginning of this transfer has been pretty good. I like what Austin talked about today concerning opposition- it really is true. Opposition is necessary for growth, and it's abundant when we are moving in the right direction. Bad things happening when you're moving in the wrong direction are really more consequences than opposition. Similar looking, but very different in nature. Anyways we've been able to spend our time more effectively this week, but with it and the true commencement of winter (first snow, yadda yadda) I have felt myself kind of draining away ha. It is a strange phenomenon. I am happy when we are helping people. The first moments waking up and the slower moments in between (travel time, slow visitor center shifts, etc) it becomes increasingly harder to function. No worries- I will pull through just fine. Ultimately the greater the challenge the greater the glory, right? Completing my mission in just over 5 months will be a great accomplishment because I will have given everything I knew how. If I didn't know 100% that the things we are teaching are true I would have come home by now. Not just that I know it a little bit, or that I ignore the parts that I'm not sure about, but the whole message. Those young guys in ties and actually know what they are talking about! And that makes it worth everything. I would do all of this over again.


I hope everyone is happy and healthy at home. Don't let this Christmas pass by! No sense the "grin and bear it"attitude when there is so much to be thankful for.

Love,
Sister Raines

PS I don't mean to preach :) it's just what's been on my mind this week. Just so you all know!

Queen Lluvia

Ha...ok don't hate me but this computer won't let me add pictures. So....you may never know what my hair looks like :) muahaha.

But I have some awesome news! This morning we spent some time doing family history...AND I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT I AM ROYALTY! That's right! What up!


I was able to find as far back as 217 A.D., who was Gewar, King of Norway. The Raines line is intensely English, but since royalty marries people from other nations to keep the power, we have some Scandinavian, Irish, teeny bit of Northern German and Prussian. Whaaaat??? Among the notable names we have Louis Metz IV (King of France). Most of the names I found were from the Wessex area. So Austin! Go find some of my cousins out there! Incredible. I wasn't able to look into my mom's side much yet, but preeeetty pleased with the short time I got to see of the Raines today. Moral of the story: everyone should go do their family history!


Also news for this week. We had a strange dilemma because our car needed to be fixed on Wednesday, but we had visitors' center shifts Tuesday through Thursday, two in Waterloo which is two hours from our place in Irondequoit. So! This was what I worked out for rides:
Tuesday:
Drop off car at mission office
Webster sisters drive us to our shift at the Smith Family Farm on their way to the Book of Mormon publication site
Smaellie's take us from the farm after our shift to the Marion sister's house to sleep for then night
Wednesday:
Howell's pick us up at 8 from the sister's house and drive us on the way to our shift in Waterloo since they work that shift with us and live in Palmyra
Fuller's work the afternoon shift in Waterloo, but we work all day, so the Fuller's take us to site meeting by 7
Yearsleys (live in Waterloo) take us from site meeting back down to Waterloo
Thursday:
Specialized training in Waterloo
Irondequoit sisters drive us to our shift in the afternoon at the Book of Mormon publication site on their way back to Irondequoit from training
Henrietta sisters drive us to get our car from the mission office after their shift at the Hill Cumorah on their way back towards Rochester


Best part? IT TOTALLY WORKED. We got everywhere we needed to without anyone going out of their way. It took a lot of phone calls and a lot of brain power. Badabing! I just wanted to brag just for a second. It really felt like sophisticated hitchhiking.


Ok time for something I've been reading which really struck me this morning. It's been a pretty heavy transfer because I've been so slow at adjusting to change I think. So this morning I was reading in Ether (in the Book of Mormon) and specifically chapter 6 got me. This group of people called the Jaredites were being led to the promised land (all of scripture seems to be a tale of exodus) and after building barges, it says "the Lord God caused that there should be a furious wind blow upon the face of the waters, towards the promised land; and thus they were tossed upon the waves of the sea before the wind." The chapter goes on to talk about how the trip was rough, but that as they trusted in God they always came out on top. So often we feel like we're getting jerked around, but it seems to me that God is the one actually trying to get us to our destination. Think about it- we are here to become something, not just coast through life and think a few things. We are put in situations so that we can react and build faith. As the winds blew them towards the promised land, the waves got bigger. But that wind was the only way they were going to go anywhere. So often I find myself wishing for an easy life, but where would I really end up? I'm grateful for the circumstances in my life that get me where God wants me to be. Now all I need to do is to make sure I don't drown :)


So this week is Thanksgiving! This great family is having us over and I am really excited. I hope everyone has a really great Thanksgiving! I know sometimes holidays are really bittersweet. Just focus on the positive, if you can. And if you struggle to find positive, I suggest finding someone who doesn't get to have Thanksgiving this year and helping them!


I can think of nothing else for now. So...bye!
Love,
Sister Raines

P.S. We spent more time downtown this week and I guess Sister Hausauer got kind of nervous....I opened her bag to get something and found a meat tenderizer! Haha! Sorry I just had to tell you. Don't worry everyone- my companion will take good care of anyone will ill intentions.

Fuera de controllar

I'm alive!


Although I know that NYC got hit way hard by Sandy, the Rochester area was relatively unharmed. I saw a tree that fell.....but.....it was more likely because of anxiety than any kind of high winds. So no worries, ya'll. Alls well up here. Most people are a little upset about it though because it was so anticlimactic. I told everyone it was just a little rain. Don't believe the southerner. Yeesh.


This week seemed super long. We were at the sites a lot again, but because of the weather no one really came in at all. It's taken a quick turn towards winter this week, and I feel pretty good about it! Bob Parrott, who takes care of the Sacred Grove, comes in and talks to us during shifts sometimes at the Smith family farm and he mentioned how every winter "puny missionaries" whine all the time huddled next to a little space heater they keep in the office. I promised him I wouldn't complain at all this Winter (mostly because he didn't think I could do it, secondly because complaining doesn't get anyone anywhere) and I'm determined to do it. Everyone already knows it's cold. No point in declaring it like a baby. Heeerreeee we go. So far it's actually been really nice to be honest. It's been really wet and in the high 30's, but something that Bob said has really stuck with me- "Embrace it." Not just suffer through it, but soak it in. Appreciate it. As soon as he said it once as we were walking around I felt my shoulders relax and I started to see what he meant. This winter is going to be okay for me. Maybe I'll even come back like a toddler instead of a being a baby all the time!


I've done a LOT of thinking this week. It's been good. New surroundings always give so much to think about- somehow it always surprises me. Sister Hausauer and I talked a lot about differences in how people keep house and order and all that jazz. I've realized that I really aprpeciate organized chaos. My favorite is to see a house, a desk, a journal...anything....covered in memories. Those memories could be messy notes in various colors and handwritings, pictures, books, paintings, artifacts or who knows what else. I just like things to be lived in. Sister Hausauer is very clean which is nice. I've been blessed that all of my companions are clean people. She likes every color scheme to match, and everything that's out of order needs to be hidden from view. Luckily that just goes for her side of the room because my things are all super eclectic :) But it's interesting! I love learning more about how there really isn't just one way to do things. It seems we're always trying to make life make sense in our own way- we try to create our own paradise. Families have unique opportunities to either create a new, full atmostphere that welcomes all or to create discord when we see things as "our way" verses "their way." Space and the organization of space is fascinating.


So last week I think I mentioned how small I've felt- not just on my mission but really in life. I've been filled with gratitude that although I am insignificant and far from perfect that I am allowed to take part in so great a work. Although I always seem to be wrecking things and causing damage, I am entrusted with boundless blessings- family, friends and missionary work being at the top of the list. Have any of you actually tried to sit down recently and make a list of your blessings? It gets pretty ridiculous. If you haven't done it in a while I invite you to go and do it. It even takes precendence over finishing reading this weekly update. I'll be here when you get back. Don't forget things like fingernails, sight, hearing, brownies, internet, the smell of new books and washing machines. You're going to need lunch and nap breaks. This will take you awhile. Anyways I knew there were scriptures about that feeling but I hadn't found the right ones yet, but this week it dropped into my lap. Like...literally. Sister Hausauer had written it on a sticky note to give to one of the young women in the ward. It's 2 Corinthians 12:9-10.


9 And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.


I have really felt the impact of those two verses. I am happy for opportunities to understand more and to be humbled the right way. So easily we think that hating ourselves makes us humble. Not so. There's a delicate balance of loving ourselves because of who we are. The trick is though, we have to really understand who it is that we are.


Welp we've gotta get going sorry that's all I've got for the week. Missionary work is kind of hard to put into words. Maybe I'll be better at it in a few months.
Bye now!
Sister Raines

Sandy

Ha! I hope you've all been keeping up with the weather! There's a storm a'comin! In fact, after we email we're heading to another Sisters' apartment and Sister Hausauer and I will be there until Tuesday night. No leaving! Hurricane Sandy must have figured out that I wasn't in North Carolina so she took a trip through NYC and will probably be to Rochester in like...an hour and a half. If I get swept away, I want you all to know the following:
-The church is true
-Elder Bagley owes me 10 bucks
-I never did learn to like onions


The thought occurred to me that this is probably what North Carolinians look like before it snows. I wish you could see all the people freaking out up here. It's pretty perfect.


Moving on! This week...was...really long and really insane all at the same time. We had a day of training and visitors center shifts every day. When we work at the VC its really all we do for the day because we have to get in studies as well as drive time. I'm still not sure what I think about all of this. It's at least been nice to see that the other two sisters coming back from full proselyting have been struggling with the adjustment, too. It's not that I want them to struggle...but I am glad that I'm not losing my mind! I'll get used to this. It's just different. I'm grateful that I had the chance to be in Buffalo and Brockport.

With that said, you probably expected that with the changing tides I had a lot on my mind and a lot of time to process, which recently has tended to result in a song. Well it did this time ha. Lyrics:


When you were young did you hear your teacher say
"Pay attention, mind your manners, do you work" every day?
Did you listen to her then? Would you listen to her now?
Pay attention, mind your manners, and you'll make it through somehow


Left to stand on your own
Right at the end
Left to stand up straight
Have courage, my friend
Let's never meet here again


Then as you grew, you felt that you knew best
Every day you itched to put their wisdom to the test
You are learning, ever learning, that the things they said were true
That the things they always taught you were the things that you should do


Left to stand on your own
Right at the end
Left to stand up straight
Have courage, my friend
Let's never meet here again


You'll find answers in the basics-
Things you learned in Sunday school
How much struggle we'd avoid
If we all lived the golden rule


Left to stand on your own
Right at the end
Left to stand up straight
Have courage, my friend
Let's never meet here again


With all of that said, there's really not much that I can explain about what this week was like for me. It seems that all of life's greatest challenges and battles are internal- how can those accurately be described? Let me just say that God answers prayers. I'm not always willing to listen or to believe those answers, but I've had a few instances this week where it couldn't have been more clear that I was receiving an answer if it came in a phone call from God himself. But why is it still so hard for me to internalize sometimes? This is all very vague haha but it's all I've got. Life's a struggle. It's a pretty good one, though. I'll explain when you're older :)


Welp I need to go take cover. Bye!
Peace and blessings,
Sister Raines