Abbey!

Ok this is an apology in advance because I'm really having trouble coming up with anything to say for this week! It was a pretty good one, but nothing I would call to chat about. I must be really pensive or something the last few days.

One thing for sure though- Niagra Falls was great! It was one of the best pdays I've had! It was BEAUTIFUL and so nice just to walk around outside and feel the spray on our faces :) I'm sending a few pictures! The transfer is over in just a week and a half which means it's likely that some of the people in the group will be moved! So sad. But I'm pretty sure I'll be here for at least 4 transfers. My money is on Sister Thomas getting transferred first. We shall see.

I've been reading a lot in the end of Alma and beginning of Helaman in the Book of Mormon this week which has really got me going back to my history teacher thought processes. I've realized that so much of this life is given to us to learn moderation! Consider it. Heavenly Father created this vast, astounding universe. And He created it so that we have to sleep and eat correct amounts to sustain life. Why?? Why can't we just dispense of those frustrating responsibilities? Why do we always have to make sure we eat but never too much or the wrong type? Why do we have to take time out of our lives to sleep so often? But when we sleep too much we are groggy for the day. In government it takes the right balance (which we are forever searching for) of providing help to those in need and making sure that people are self-sustainable. In the eternal plan, we learn that through Jesus Christ, God has created a system wherein we are weighed in the perfect balance of justice and mercy. It seems that our entire existence is spent in seeking moderation. Those who come closest are happiest, and those who are furthest are the most miserable.

We've been teaching a lady from England, Pauline, and she just helps us so much. Sometimes in helping people it seems like we are surrounded by unreliability, bitterness, heartache and pain. And although Pauline experiences all of those things, in the end she is just so sweet and considerate. I love teaching her! I'm grateful to have her in my life. We had some interesting experiences this week with other people we were teaching or who we met on the street. One man suggested that we move to Iran or Afghanistan "since they shoot Christians there," the man we were teaching who was affliated with the Italian mafia in his younger years (oh, the stories) suddenly decided that he didn't want to talk religion anymore and preferred that we didn't come back. One lady we're teaching is convinced she's under a satanic attack. It's strange to be thrust in the middle of all of these varying life problems! So many people are afflicted with problems outside of their control, but the majority recently seem to be the result of poor decision making. In those times, I want to introduce the entire world to people like Janice Wills or Deborah Tilley who I wrote about last week. It's strange to want to explain to so many people that their decisions are bringing them pain and those decisions are childish! I know I'm only 21 but I have figured out that good decisions lead to a better life.

Alma 41:10
Behold, I say unto you, wickedness never was happiness.

Ok I think that's all I've got for this week. I'll try to be more organized n stuff next week :)
Oh and one more thing...HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!! I miss you and I hope it's great!
Kbye!
Hermana Ray

Hey! Gimme somadat!

My public!

We had an interesting week. I am still madly in love with Buffalo and serving here, but not gonna lie we ran into a lot of random issues this week! I don't know. Consequently I've had a LOT on my mind and the week flew by. Each week passes faster and faster I swear.

First item of news: We have two new Elders in our ward! Elder Wilson and Elder Vasquez. They are GREAT! It's nice to have such a big group taking care of the Buffalo ward. This also means our district is up to 8! Look at us go. Sister Thomas and I now live with the Amherst Sisters (Brown & Lee) and it's been way fun! It's different living with 3 instead of one, but I've always liked having roomates so this really isn't any different. It does make it a little harder to focus during study in the morning though :)

Sister Thomas and I spent Easter dinner with a lady in the ward who has been through so much. She's in her 80s now and her husband passed away a few years ago. She and her husband joined the church in their 30s. The thing that kills me is that before she joined the church decades ago her house caught on fire and she lost her two youngest children- both little girls. She says she could hear them screaming as it went down. I don't know all the details, but she did what she could to get to them but wasn't able to reach them before where they were collapsed. Oh one other thing- she's had breast cancer and a stroke since losing her husband. It was a priviledge to be able to help her clean her house and make dinner. Sister Thomas and I both talked about how we really wish we could fix everything that is injust in the world, but then it's probably a good thing that God is in charge instead of us because those lessons are what make us who we are and keep us going along the path. The dinner group was essentially made up of a collection of life's misfits- all single, afflicted, forgotten and scarred. In some ways that even includes Sister Thomas and I ha. How kind they were to want to invite over two young gals. I'm grateful for their courage to make it through the past- they are some of the most Christ-like people I've ever met, and very few people even know their names. It astounded me that their entire focus was based in others. This Easter dinner was really the crowning event in my thought process for the last two weeks: The epitome of humility.
We went to go visit a lady named Deborah who lives downtown who had a stroke about a year ago and had lost movement in the left side of her body. Deborah is the sweetest and most hysterical lady! We came to see her in between sessions of conference on Sunday and she was so sad because she missed the AM session. When we told her there's a PM session she hadn't missed she lit up! She said, "Well what are we waiting for?! Get me dressed wouldja! I need help with mah bra!" bahaha. Sister Thomas got her RN before the mission so she kind of assumed that responsibility haha. At one point Deborah, with her back to me wearing only an adult diaper, turned her head around to say something to me and created a picture in my head that I will never lose. There she stood- a woman in her 60s who had provided for children and grandchildren for years. Now she was completely stripped of pride and needed help fulfilling some of her most basic needs. We had been complete strangers half an hour before, and yet all she was concerned about was looking halfway decent so she could get to hear the words of our modern day prophet, Thomas S. Monson. My heart was touched. Deborah joined the church 4 years ago. What have I ever even gone through? At times I imagine myself afflicted or treated unjustly. But not only can I take care of myself, I can take care of others. As another one of the people we're teaching said (who, I'm sad to say, is speeding towards death in her 50s- she's less than 100 lbs and stands at 5'6") "I have food in the pantry AND in the refrigerator. I have heat. I have a roof over my head and faith in my heart. What else do I need?"
WAY TO BREAK MY HEART, WORLD.
If I ever tear up here in Buffalo it's because I've been touched by those who show me who Christ was in their every action. I am blessed to be in the company of such noble souls who the world leaves untouched. We understand so little about priorities and worth.

Another thought- if nothing else, being on a mission has taught me how to be a better member after my mission! The work here would be so much more effective if the members of the ward would take some responsibility! As missionaries, we try and do whatever we can to help, serve, find and teach. Yet so many people refuse to take an interest in those around them, so as we teach them and bring them to Christ they are left in the dust when we leave. Faith is an incredible thing, but I believe that God works through people. Yes yes He can do whatever He wants- comfort, lead, teach, whatever- but in my limited experience I've seen that the way He prefers to work is through our neighbors, family and friends. If we refuse to step up- step up and serve, love, remember, empathize, consider- we are confounding the work of God.

As for other news...let's see.
-Today we are going to Niagra Falls! So I'll have an update about that next week.
-Some of the missionaries in my district are starting a mini campaign to get me to like onions. Fools!
-I'm getting to the point where I actually like to run again! I don't feel as good when we don't run, and I'm getting better about distance and speed. We kind of...got lost...one morning this week and ended up running between 4 and 6 miles and I still felt pretty good when we got home! I just hope I can keep up the will power to continue to do it when I have a companion who doesn't like to run as much. Fighting people to get them out of bed is not my cup of herbal tea.
-My address for my entire mission will be at 100 Perinton Hills. It's not worth changing the address because I am never really sure when I'm going to move, and the mission office is great about forwarding things. So. Yeah. Same address.
-I've been somewhat considering going into nursing? Obviously I would finish my degree, but still it's been in my head. We'll see. Plenty of time. Maybe I just want to be Alaina.

Ok that's it bye! I hope everyone's Easter was good. Ciao!
Hermana Ray

Amherst

I'm getting moved again!
Kind of. Ha.
I'll still be in the North Buffalo area with Sister Thomas, but we're getting kicked out of our apartment! Come on! We're getting a new Elder who had to wait for his visa to come through from Mexico and so now he and his trainer are taking our apartment in Kenmore and we're moving in with...the Amherst Sisters!! Sister Brown (from Utah) and Sister Lee (from Hong Kong). It's gonna be a party erryday! After we're done moving...again :)

So first- sorry that last week I left the email on a weird note! Looking back that was a strange place to stop but I found out I only had 20 minutes cause other people needed to use the computer and we had a ton of stuff to do last week. It was really one of the best weekends I've had since being on my mission though! A group of us in the Buffalo area all rode down to Palmyra for an activity at the Book of Mormon Publication site. We gave tours and everything- there were hundreds of people who came through! It was really fun and it was also good to get to know the other missionaries serving around me. Just in a few short days we became like family! We got to stay at the mission home for two nights, too so it was really great to be able to spend some time with the Christiansons. Love them!

Can I just say if it was up to me I would stay in this area with Sister Thomas the rest of my mission? I really do love it here. I wish we could focus more downtown than having to divide our attention all over the place, but every single day we've been able to talk to such amazing people who are going through incredible things. One of our most recent and most memorable I'll mention really quickly has to do with General Conference that happened this past weekend! For any who are unaware of what General Conference is, watch this rill quick:
http://youtu.be/KL_rO6Z3n4c
Ok now that everyone is caught up, in between the AM and PM sessions on Saturday, Sister Thomas and I and also Elders Harris and Pascual (serving in our ward as well) decided to pray and then walk around downtown to find anyone who would want to come back with us and watch the afternoon session with us at the chapel. The very first person we really talked to was named Heshem from Egypt. Heshem was so sweet! His English was pretty good, but his native tongue is Arabic. As we talked to Heshem he opened up about how many questions he has about life and life after this one. His father had passed away a couple years ago, he found himself in a strange place, and everyone seemed to have contradicting and confusing ideas. It filled my heart to be able to honestly tell him that we could help him find answers. Not even just our opinions, but that we could teach him to pray and ask for himself- give him the tools of the Book of Mormon and the Bible to search and find. He kept apologizing for having so many questions. Apologizing! The most common scripture in all of the standard works is a variation of "ask, and it shall be given you, seek, and ye shall find, knock, and it shall be opened unto you." It's such a joy to continue to learn and receive that peace. I'm so grateful I get the opportunity to teach anyone who is trying to find answers, and I'm grateful that I've found so many already. I'm grateful that we have the tools to continue to find more answers, because life is so full of questions.

Random:
-This week we'll start volunteering at the Ronald McDonald House! http://www.rmhcwny.org/new-website/
-It got cold again this past week! Lame. But the quick stint of summer brought the holes in my wardrobe to my attention so today we're going to snoop around looking for a few short sleeve shirts. So with that said anyone around my size looking to donate short sleeved shirts or something of the like should consider sending items to me :) No need to buy anything though I'm quite happy with hand me downs!
-Seester Thomas and I have been running around 3 miles in the morning! It feels good to be able to run again.
-Happy birthday to Calvin this past week! He's not a teenager anymore! Mom can't say, "Hello teenage boy!" anymore! Which means...LOOK OUT, RC! I hope it went well, brosef :)
-I'm sending pictures this week since I was robbed of tiempo last week. Hope you like them!
-Trying Buffalo wings is on our bucket list for the transfer, and we're trying red hots today! I'll let you know how that goes.
-Happy Easter, everyone! If I've forgotten anything I'll...write it next week :)
Love,
Hermana Ray
Our apartment, me with Sister Potts and me with Sister Haushauer, Sister Thomas in our crazy messy apartment trying to sort through area books and get our feet under us!

This was taken a few weeks ago before I left for Buffalo and I miss them.

Buffalo gals wontcha come out tonight?

Buffalo has been really great! I come home exhausted every night but it's the good kind of exhausted- the kind where you know you did something. The area we cover is MUCH larger than where I was in Shortsville, but that's really just the beginning. We were told it's a Spanish area, but we have yet to meet anyone who speaks Spanish haha. Instead, we spend our time divided between the more upper class area like Snyder and downtown Buffalo. Walking downtown is probably my favorite. There are so many people! It's much better than being out in the country. One of our first days this lady stopped us and said, "What are ya'll doin here? Don't you know this is tha hood?" Nice. Sister Thomas is from Northern Utah. I'm pretty sure this is an extremely different experience for her. All the more fun to watch!

Our first adventure had to do with the apartment. It was...essentially a swamp. I would send pictures but I forgot to bring my cord! So next time I'll do that. Anyways the carpet was soaked because the hot water tank had leaked so someone came in and cut it out and for the last few days the concrete has been drying out. Hopefully we'll be able to get in some new carpet before too long.

The weather was beautiful for most of the week which helped everything, too. People are outside more, happier, and everything is brighter.

The thing that I'm really trying to work on this week is not comparing myself. Sister Thomas is absolutely beautiful- she was a site trainer before she was put with me out here. We both have brown hair, bangs, even parted on the same side. We're both about 5'7". She's a year older than me, much more sweet, always put together and pristine. I'm sending a picture so you understand what I mean. It's been difficult meeting so many new people because you can't help but compare the two of us and I ALWAYS come up short. I can't tell you how many times someone has started talking to us and remarked on how pretty she is. Kind of like...I didn't think my mobile home was so bad until they built a castle next door. Sister Thomas has been out about 5 months more than me and is a good missionary. She sings, plays the piano, runs...I'm really trying to get a grasp on my worth as a daughter of God rather than any of my accomplishments that suddenly seem so silly. Missions are interesting.

Well that's all I have time for today because we're heading out early. See you next week.
Hermana Ray
PS I'll send the picture of SIs Thomas next week cause i'm out of time

BUFFALO WINGZ!

I AM GETTING TRANSFERRED!

TO NORTH BUFFALO!

We got the call last night and I seriously could not sleep. This is a MASSIVE change. My new companion will be Sister Thomas who I love so much- North Buffalo has been closed for a while so Sister Thomas and I will be the first missionaries there for quite some time.  It's a Spanish speaking area, too! Also, Buffalo zone is full proselyting, so I won't be at the Visitors' Centers for at least a few months. I will definitely miss working there and seeing everyone every week...everyone kind of jokes that Buffalo is it's own mission because we don't see people as often as the other 3 zones. Today I'm going to need to get all my stuff together and then tomorrow I'll be in a new area, with a new companion, and I probably won't be driver anymore- Sister Thomas has been out longer than me. Weird weird weird and so GOOD!
Story of the call:
Elder Hallam (district leader) called me and told me I would be moving to North Buffalo and I didn't believe him because I'm not done training so that's not common and North Buffalo wasn't open...clearly a joke right? So after some reassurance I said ok and hung up, but I was staying at a house since we're in Palmyra today so the 5 other Sisters in the house screamed immediately because I didn't ask who my companion was. I called Elder Hallam back and asked who, and he said Sister Thomas, who was sitting in the room with me! I just looked at her and pointed and shouted, "YOU!" and Elder Hallam hung up because he couldn't hear anything over the ridiculous screams of the 6 of us. Way too much for one night, I tell you. Oh and when I realized I will be leaving Sister Fetuli I tackled her and clung for a little while. She's not one for that kind of thing but I didn't much care at the moment. I think she secretly appreciated it :) Haha.

Ok back to this past week! Rita and Paul are progressing, and we hope they will be out of the hospital this week sometime. Sister Fetuli will probably keep me updated on their progress.

We had mission conference on Wednesday and Elder Cook (of the Seventy) came and I really liked what he talked about, but one thing in particular stood out to me. He talked about lawns. How we kill weeds, mow everything to be exactly the same height, add whatever we need to do to make the lawn look perfectly combed and uniform. However! What does God plant? He plants meadows. Full of countless varieties of flowers and plants- different heights, colors, widths, you name it. And it's the same with people. Why is it that we are so bent on making people the same? That if someone doesn't fit into our perception of beautiful that they don't make the cut. Heavenly Father made each of us different and so beautiful! We have different talents and experiences to offer and He expects us to use them the most we can. Enough lawns, eh?

I've also been taught a lot about the Lord's schedule this week haha. There have been so many times where I got frustrated because the plans we made fell through- people cancelled, something would come up...and so often it would yield a greater result. A member cancelled a dinner appointment and I would up at my apartment eating mac & cheese and drinking Dr. Pepper. It was a really nice chance to have a quiet moment. I needed it more than I had realized I think. On Thursday we had 15 appointments to teach people and ALL of them bailed. All. Really? Then at the end of the day someone called and asked us to come- we hadn't met them before- and it was one of the best lessons I've seen since I've been out! Had we been busy with all the other appointments we had, we would not have been able to go over to that unplanned appointment. I'm also reminded of the first day I had in the field when we got lost right out of transfer meeting for like 40 minutes. I was frustrated, but in our pathetic plight someone came up and offered to help (anyone who carries around a map these days is in serious trouble) and now he is actually learning more about the church. You just can never know how things work out. As soon as I start to think I'm in control He nudges everything off just to help me to understand the true status quo ha. Perfect.

Is it strange that I don't consider myself a religious person? And I'm dedicating my life to it? I realized this week that I've never thought of myself as that "type." Ok stay with me here. I tried to figure out why I feel that way, and I think it's because I don't see it as a classification. A while back I talked about how frustrating it is when people say "it's not my thing." I don't think of myself as religious- I don't think about how I'm a homo sapien all the time, either. It's just part of being alive. I don't see that as separating me from anyone else. Maybe it's because I've come to a state of knowledge rather than belief. Do you consider yourself to be a scientist because you know what an atom is?

One of our zone leaders, Elder Peck, is leaving this transfer! I'm not happy about it. I'm really going to miss him! I used to get upset in the MTC all the time because people left so often. Now I just get bugged every 6 weeks :) WHY do I like people so much?! I swear it would be so much easier if I just refused to make any more friends.

Ok that's all for this week, folks! Next week I'll be emailing you from NORTH BUFFALO! WOO!
Love love,
Hermana Ray

PS Buffalo is the coldest place in the mission...if you gotta go might as well go in the Spring, right? Perrrfect.

Yesterday we came out of the Visitors' center after a shift and there was a massive rainbow overhead! So cool, right? 

The second is just kind of a quintessential picture of the Shortsville/Manchester area. Farmington is more ghetto and Palmyra and Canandaigua are nicer. After a storm the sky is always so nice.

Bufallo WINGZ

I AM GETTING TRANSFERRED!

TO NORTH BUFFALO!

We got the call last night and I seriously could not sleep. This is a MASSIVE change. My new companion will be Sister Thomas who I love so much- North Buffalo has been closed for a while so Sister Thomas and I will be the first missionaries there for quite some time.  It's a Spanish speaking area, too! Also, Buffalo zone is full proselyting, so I won't be at the Visitors' Centers for at least a few months. I will definitely miss working there and seeing everyone every week...everyone kind of jokes that Buffalo is it's own mission because we don't see people as often as the other 3 zones. Today I'm going to need to get all my stuff together and then tomorrow I'll be in a new area, with a new companion, and I probably won't be driver anymore- Sister Thomas has been out longer than me. Weird weird weird and so GOOD!
Story of the call:
Elder Hallam (district leader) called me and told me I would be moving to North Buffalo and I didn't believe him because I'm not done training so that's not common and North Buffalo wasn't open...clearly a joke right? So after some reassurance I said ok and hung up, but I was staying at a house since we're in Palmyra today so the 5 other Sisters in the house screamed immediately because I didn't ask who my companion was. I called Elder Hallam back and asked who, and he said Sister Thomas, who was sitting in the room with me! I just looked at her and pointed and shouted, "YOU!" and Elder Hallam hung up because he couldn't hear anything over the ridiculous screams of the 6 of us. Way too much for one night, I tell you. Oh and when I realized I will be leaving Sister Fetuli I tackled her and clung for a little while. She's not one for that kind of thing but I didn't much care at the moment. I think she secretly appreciated it :) Haha.

Ok back to this past week! Rita and Paul are progressing, and we hope they will be out of the hospital this week sometime. Sister Fetuli will probably keep me updated on their progress.

We had mission conference on Wednesday and Elder Cook (of the Seventy) came and I really liked what he talked about, but one thing in particular stood out to me. He talked about lawns. How we kill weeds, mow everything to be exactly the same height, add whatever we need to do to make the lawn look perfectly combed and uniform. However! What does God plant? He plants meadows. Full of countless varieties of flowers and plants- different heights, colors, widths, you name it. And it's the same with people. Why is it that we are so bent on making people the same? That if someone doesn't fit into our perception of beautiful that they don't make the cut. Heavenly Father made each of us different and so beautiful! We have different talents and experiences to offer and He expects us to use them the most we can. Enough lawns, eh?

I've also been taught a lot about the Lord's schedule this week haha. There have been so many times where I got frustrated because the plans we made fell through- people cancelled, something would come up...and so often it would yield a greater result. A member cancelled a dinner appointment and I would up at my apartment eating mac & cheese and drinking Dr. Pepper. It was a really nice chance to have a quiet moment. I needed it more than I had realized I think. On Thursday we had 15 appointments to teach people and ALL of them bailed. All. Really? Then at the end of the day someone called and asked us to come- we hadn't met them before- and it was one of the best lessons I've seen since I've been out! Had we been busy with all the other appointments we had, we would not have been able to go over to that unplanned appointment. I'm also reminded of the first day I had in the field when we got lost right out of transfer meeting for like 40 minutes. I was frustrated, but in our pathetic plight someone came up and offered to help (anyone who carries around a map these days is in serious trouble) and now he is actually learning more about the church. You just can never know how things work out. As soon as I start to think I'm in control He nudges everything off just to help me to understand the true status quo ha. Perfect.

Is it strange that I don't consider myself a religious person? And I'm dedicating my life to it? I realized this week that I've never thought of myself as that "type." Ok stay with me here. I tried to figure out why I feel that way, and I think it's because I don't see it as a classification. A while back I talked about how frustrating it is when people say "it's not my thing." I don't think of myself as religious- I don't think about how I'm a homo sapien all the time, either. It's just part of being alive. I don't see that as separating me from anyone else. Maybe it's because I've come to a state of knowledge rather than belief. Do you consider yourself to be a scientist because you know what an atom is?

One of our zone leaders, Elder Peck, is leaving this transfer! I'm not happy about it. I'm really going to miss him! I used to get upset in the MTC all the time because people left so often. Now I just get bugged every 6 weeks :) WHY do I like people so much?! I swear it would be so much easier if I just refused to make any more friends.

Ok that's all for this week, folks! Next week I'll be emailing you from NORTH BUFFALO! WOO!
Love love,
Hermana Ray

PS Buffalo is the coldest place in the mission...if you gotta go might as well go in the Spring, right? Perrrfect.

Sweet sweet sue

BIG week.

First of all something amazing happened this week....IT WAS WARM! It was 60 degrees!! On Wednesday I came out of the apartment and howled out of sheer happiness. We walked everywhere Wednesday so it was absolutely perfect. I was so happy. I've practically been in the clouds ever since even though it snowed on Thursday. This week it's supposed to be back in the 60s and everything is good. 

I start with that because something really very serious happened this week as well. We've been teaching this older couple- Paul and Rita- and they didn't show up to church on Sunday and immediately Sister Fetuli and I knew something was wrong. The thing that really made me nervous was that Sister Fetuli had a dream that we were alone at church and then people rushed by with someone on a stretcher and then we were at the hospital. Rita's birthday is today (86) so we stopped by last night to check on them. Their car was there, but no one answered the door. The little girl from the apartment above theirs was sitting on the stairs and just said, "Paul's dead." Paul was NOT dead, and I could hit her for scaring me so bad for nothing! Paul was in the hospital. He has a pretty bad lung problem and it hit a low point so an ambulance came and got him. He's still in pretty bad condition. Last night we went and stayed with Rita for awhile in the emergency room. We got her something to eat since she hadn't eaten all day and just held her hands as she cried. It was heartbreaking, really. I thought about all the people I love so much and how sad it is that this is part of life. Even if Paul pulls through, it's hard to watch him be in pain, especially hooked up to all of these machines and in a sense humiliated in front of total strangers. We are listed as the emergency contact since none of their children are on good terms with them, so the hospital has been calling us for information and updates and whatnot. We just met them a month ago and we are the closest friends they have because Rita has a pretty bad temper and she burned bridges with her children years ago. No one thinks about being 85 when being rude or abusive.

Something else that happened this week that might seem small to some- we went to a birthday party for 4 year old Zach whose mom we've been teaching, and we spent the time split between his grandmother and an 8 year old cousin. Sister Fetuli walked away from the party with a teeny plastic water gun...when I asked her why in the world she had it she shrugged and said, referring to the 8 year old: "She gave it to me and said 'have this- you're my very best friend.'" Ok so that might not be a big deal on first thought, but it hit me- why can't we be more like that? Here this little girl appreciated Sister Fetuli listening and talking to her. She felt it of the utmost importance that she give something- anything- of hers to her because she cared. Isn't that interesting? And yet how many times have I been stubborn or selfish with the things that I have, even with people who I know and care about a lot? Do I walk around and give all my things away because I care about people so much? Obviously there's a line because we still need to sustain ourselves, but for a minute I witnessed pure unfailing charity, and it took an 8 year old with nothing to give to teach me.

Another lesson I learned was taught to me by flowers! I'm sending the picture. My reasoning will make more sense if you're looking at the picture. I noticed that the flower closest to the light flourished, and the third flower for some reason shrunk from the light- it looks like it's running away!- and it was the first to die. It made SO MUCH SENSE in the middle of my life as a missionary walking around trying to help people help themselves. Those who refuse to take refuge are the first to fall. It's tragic, and it doesn't have to be that way. We don't have to be so miserable all the time! I am thoroughly convinced that our own poor choices are the only things that can make us truly unhappy. It was even like that with the flowers. When I put the pot on the table, all were aligned with contact with sunshine. I thought about times that maybe I esteemed myself to be not good enough or something and hid behind those who were healthy. It just can't work like that.

Funny experience! We went to visit Maria, my Puerto Rican investigator :), and she had just made some flan. For any who are not acquainted with flan...try it at your own risk. Most people seem to like it, but I'm not a fan of caramel jello. No thanks. Anyways she offered (in Spanish) and I figured since Sister Fetuli is crazy about anything with sugar, she would like some. I made the mistake of not translating because I forgot the conversation was in Spanish. Sister Fetuli promptly reminded me after the appointment haha. Anyways Maria brought out a bowl with some of the flan in it for Sister Fetuli to have. Her face was one of the funniest things I have seen since being in New York! She couldn't really do anything because she's learned that it's rude to refuse food in those circumstances, and it's even more rude to say that you don't like it. All the poor thing could get out was, "so yummy." She was spitting all the way down the road hahaha I won't be offering any Latin deserts from now on!

I wrote a new song during a shift at the Peter Whitmer farm the other day! I'm sending the lyrics. I really like the music for this one, but I'm pretty satisfied with the lyrics, too. I wasn't going to send them because they really portray my state of being about two weeks ago, but here they are.

On an island in the sea

There's a spot of sand for me

Where I built a tiny house

Where I thought I could be free

But the waves came crashing down

And I know I should have known

But there's no point being free

If you'll always be alone

In an unfamiliar land

I am hanging up to dry

I am wistful and nostalgic

As the days go slowly by

On the street as people pass me

I close up the place and hide

I thought it better to refuse to love

Than let them come inside

Now you turn to me and ask

How you can make it every day

How to let the flowers grow

Without the weeds and the decay

Well the truth is you will not avoid

The pain of death and strife

Because the flowers use the ashes

As they grow and give new life

One of the Senior couples found out that I write songs a few weeks ago when I stole away to play for a bit, and so now I'm assigned to play at a site meeting in the beginning of May. This is why you don't tell people play. Yeesh.

Anyways that's pretty much it for the week. I've gotten letters from various people this week that have really helped buoy me up, which I'm really thankful for. I have some really good people in my life, you know? No one deserves to be supported by such beautiful people. At least not me!

A couple random things rill quick:

-Everyone is crazy about apple pie, applesauce and real maple syrup here. I'm still not a fan of applesauce, but I've come to really like apple pie! Soon I will obtain a good recipe and then it's ALL over.

-Transfers are next week! President is toying  with the idea of moving me to a more Spanish speaking area even though I'm not done training. Honestly two weeks ago I would have been thrilled but now Sister Fetuli and I have really become best friends and I love this area. I'm praying that I'll be here for a long time.

-We went to this little breakfast place before district meeting this week and President Christianson came because we challenged him to the pancake challenge! What it is is three MASSIVE pancakes. If you finish it (I've never seen anyone finish) they give you a free tshirt. Turns out President isn't competitive enough hahaha. If you're wondering, I didn't even try. My stomach is nowhere big enough. I couldn't even finish one normal sized pancake. I didn't hear the end of that one from the Elders that's for sure.

I hope everyone is doing well! 

Cheerio till next week from Hermana Ray

In the Sacred Grove

Pancake Challenge

Barn where I work